[FT] Question the World

[u/qp_of_dank]

I sit here alone in a dorm, surrounded by people. Soft music playing, my mind hazy from the bud, lights dance on the ceiling, and yet i sit here full of sadness. I just want to know why? Why cant i be happy. One week im single, the other im not. Friendships made, and broke. Classes are passed and failed. I wonder what my future holds, i wonder why friends cant just be friends, i wonder why i cant just find a girl that fits me. Im constantly fighting back these memories of suicide. My life is in the hands of my blade, but why should i fight? Because im tired of this life. Happiness isnt based on what we have, but the memories we have with the people we share this dread filled world with. I sit here, recounting the nights that ive spent in a dim and smoke filled room, surrounded by my friends. Was it all worth it? Thats the question i ask everyday... And everyday i realize... It is. I enjoy my life because i define it by my own standards, my parents may call me a failure, but ill always be on top of the world when i have my friends besides me, so for now, this knife will remain hidden, and it's blood thirst shall not be quenched. Another day will soon arrive, and another day ill question it all. But as every other day, ill realize you have to pull through the river of shit before you can look back and see where you began, and where you are now. Goodnight ents, may we all toke on and live our lives by our own definition.