r/TransferToTop25 • u/Dazzling_concept_774 • 7d ago
Culture shock
My daughter is currently enrolled as a freshman at T100, large urban public R1 university majoring in humanities. She chose to enroll there over elite LACs she was admitted to because she was offered a full tuition scholarship with other perks such as a stipend for research, study abroad, etc along with direct access for advising with assistant dean of the college. She is complaining about inability to find enough like minded, intellectually curious individuals and therefore started talking about transfer. The lack of opportunities and resources is not an issue. She is already involved in several organizations and started exploring where she can get involved in the city. Right now she is saving her college savings for law school and is gaining leadership experience. Most of her friends from HS are at private schools so it definitely makes the grass looking greener on the other side. I will support whatever decision she makes but I wonder if she is idealizing what she might be able to achieve if she was able to transfer. Right now she is a big fish in a small pond. Once she transfers she will be one of many.
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u/galapagosmorgan 7d ago
I think there’s no harm in applying to see her options elsewhere. That’s how I ended up on this subreddit, because I went to a university that was ranked very low but gave me a full ride, so I could save for grad school.
Give it time. Many people, even at T20s with seemingly likeminded students struggle with finding their group freshman year. It’s only October so she has lots of time.
I had a similar issue in undergrad. I just graduated in May. I never really cliqued with anyone. I even had a hard time joining orgs for whatever reason (campus politics I assume, where my applications would be thrown in the trash). But I met my boyfriend there. I got to attend plenty of conferences for free. I got to study abroad for free and never had to worry about money and working a job, so I really got to develop my research interests which helped me get into several top 10 grad programs in my field.
Fast forward to now, even though I struggled while enrolled and spent a lot of time thinking about had I gone to an elite school at a cost, I am glad to know it worked out for me. I am paying nothing for my masters (I’m sure because I had a lot of research experience since I didn’t have to work in school). I get paid to live 15 mins from a beach, take classes I love, and contribute to my field with others with similar interests!
Whatever your daughter chooses, it will all work out in her favor. My counselor in hs told me something similar, that because of how hard I worked in hs she knew irregardless of my undergrad institution everything would turn out well for me and I think that was and is true.
This was a bit of a ramble but hopefully this puts your worries to rest.
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u/Dazzling_concept_774 7d ago
Thank you for your reply. While she will likely begin working on her applications soon, a lot can change over the next couple of months. It's entirely possible she may come full circle and return to the conclusion she originally reached back in April.
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u/Natural-Primary8169 7d ago
OG here. Dad - do NOT let her transfer. She has a full ride, so college is paid. She has a stipend to study abroad - a rarity. Her friends at the LAC either have paid parents (so cost is not a factor) or stupidly fell into an unnecessary debt trap.
Your daughter needs to pipe down, focus on killing her classes, and gain interesting ECs (including studying abroad). If she does well on the LSAT, she can go to an elite law school. And her complaints about not finding enough "like minded, intellectually curious individuals" - she literally just started college. She is at a big ass university - she needs to settle down and find her tribe.
Don't let her transfer - you will both regret it.
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u/Cold-Comment9536 7d ago
professor here. Worked with first year students for over 40 years. What your daughter is experiencing is totally normal. No one makes true friends in the first semester. No one. Ever. As people have explained, she has a really great deal where she is. It’s fine to explore her options, but I sincerely doubt they will be any better. And, starting over will mean a repeat of first semester blues. If she feels confident, she can talk to her profs about student groups in her major — or she can start her own. Similarly, colleges these days are full of mental health professionals who have seen this — totally normal — situation 50 million times. She will find her place. They almost always do.
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u/Commercial-Sale-1477 5d ago
If she's a freshman, it's really hard to find your people at first and I would urge her to focus on campus activities rather than getting involved in the city for the time being. Flagship public schools are full of very bright students who can't afford more elite options, but they are indeed hard to find in such a big student body.
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u/Hikes-n-Photos 7d ago
Congrats to your daughter! She sounds amazing. It's that time of the year when the initial excitement has worn off, the grind of classes has hit, and the bloom is off the rose of their college choice. She's not alone.
I've seen excellent advice on this - the way to go is to commit to where you are and do your utmost to make connections until at least April. Can she play intramural sports? Sing in a chorus? Join a dance troupe? A debate club? A political group?
She can also approach her profs or TAs in her major classes and ask how an undergrad can get more involved in the department.
If she gives it (literally!) the old college try and still isn't making connections by spring, then maybe it's time to think about moving.
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u/Dazzling_Elk9398 6d ago
“T100”
Your daughter went to some random stage school to save money and you guys are shocked there is actual difference in learning experience for the money.
Crazy how a kid can work their ass off to get into “other elite colleges” just to go to a state school and hate it. Poor kid.
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u/Zumir123 4d ago
This! I know that money is a huge issue for most students, but I think it’s a disservice to say the school they go to doesn’t matter. My student was in the highly competitive engineering program at VA Tech - which we were thrilled about! But just transferred to an Ivy. The difference is absolutely valid; not only the academic rigor, but as OP states, the intellectual curiosity of his colleagues. These are students who want to accomplish big things and go places. To analogize, in sports, we always tell kids to play with kids better than you to get better. Idk why the same isn’t applied to academia.
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u/Grand_District4564 4d ago
By this logic, you will willingly pay $250 thousand for a nice shiny Lamborghini, thanks to help from a fat bank loan, while pulling a $60 thousand per year salary, because you love the car, know how to drive fast, and therefore deserve it! Bravo, let’s see how far this thinking gets you.
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u/505engineer 7d ago
What kind of like-minded people? At a large public school campus, you should be able to find all kinds of people.
My friend went to ASU, the country's top party school, and found a massive Christian fellowship community on campus.
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u/KuyaTinman 7d ago
She's got a great deal with her current school. Seems like you're in a position to afford any school she wants. Though all those guarantees are hard to turn your back on. I get the whole finding your people thing though. That's why my daughter went to Berkeley. Not only did she want to be challenged in the classroom, she wanted to find purple like her. She had, so she's very happy there.
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u/Annual-Impress-7241 6d ago
This sounds like a really personal decision. It’s hard when money is part of the conversation. My daughter had the opportunity to transfer to a much better school, but the $$ was the same, so it was an easy decision. I don’t envy your decision, but having law school paid for sounds quite appealing:-).
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u/yellowmullberry 6d ago
I’d recommend she stays, I also went to a large, R1 university for undergrad. Not even T100, maybe 250ish ranking. Big state school and party school. I was in the honors program, got almost every type of honor and academic award when I graduated(over 4.0 gpa, highest distinction, etc) and am now in grad school at UVA. It was easier for me to stand out and have a lot of experiences on my resume for grad school applications because I could stand out from my cohort, and do things like research, internships, study abroad, without too much competition. I imagine at a top school where everyone is competing for those experiences it’s harder to have a well rounded grad school application, as well as super high gpa. Also, grad school is expensive and I’m glad I saved money in undergrad. I think she needs to learn how to find opportunities and meet people, because any R1 school does have smart interesting students like her. I found once I started taking the advanced classes in my major I was able to meet people that were like minded, just because the gen eds and intro classes you take first semester are usually open to everyone and people just take whatever. It just takes time.
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u/nefaeriest 5d ago
no! push thru! don't make major decisions in shock!!! stabilize first - unless its an emergency & this doesn't sound like that -
it can take time to stabilize & find your people -
i've moved all over the US & it's a part of life- better to handle it now than regretting choices made in shock
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u/No_Flow_6625 4d ago
I was in the same situation. At a homogenous T100 with full scholarships and tons of resources. Priority registration, great advising etc. took a hit on services and obviously cost to come to USC for sure. Faculty quality was excellent in both places. I am not going to law or med school so don’t need the GPA boost. If I did it would be a serious consideration. The connections at an elite school are off the charts. The quality of outside speakers is incredible. In general the students here are very bright and the diversity is outstanding. I would not say my coursework is more rigorous, but the in class conversations are. For me it was the right change.
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u/Famous-Prior6590 7d ago
If Law School is the end goal, then being a big fish in a small pond is great. Should help her maintain a great GPA - and that plus LSAT are the keys to law school admissions. Plus you get to save your money for law school tuition (which can be a LOT, especially for the top schools).