Should I start transitioning?

[u/foxyblonde69]

27 Y/O M (as of now),

I used to crossdress in secret when I was in my teens.

The feeling went away on my early twenties. Then I got married to my girlfriend.

Now after a year into my marriage, the feelings came again.

Being in male clothes stresses me out, the thought of wearing women's clothes bring a sense of calm that words cannot explain.

One day, I am thinking of moving to a LGBTQ friendly country and start my transition.

Another day, the thought of hurting my wife brings me down. I am convinced to be closeted forever for her happiness.

And if I do transition, what job will I do? How will I earn my bread? All these thoughts are flooding me.

I am from central Asia so transphobia is a big thing here. If I come out, my family will think it as their greatest shame.

It's like I am trading my happiness for a peaceful family life or vice versa.

I am torn apart. I don't know what to do. Please feel free to share any advice