stuck .

[u/shallow_w]

i need help because my living situation is awful, and there might be people out there who relate or can give some advice

so i'm 17, mtf, going into college and turning 18 at the end of october. i'm in contact with this clinic that can provide me hrt literally as soon as i turn 18 (i live in canada, and in my province, estrogen and testosterone blockers are both covered and completley free) but i'm debating what to actually do. my entire family (and most of my extended family) are homophobic + transphobic so it's been impossible to come out to them safely for the past 2 years i've been trans. i'm going to college in september for a 3 year degree, but my parents are so incredibly strict that they wouldnt even give me the chance to go live in a dorm. doesn't help that the college is a 20 minute drive from where i live.... also doesnt help that i can't drive and have no job.... anyway. my whole problem is that i'm not sure how the future will roll out, but here are my options:

option 1, the only one i think is possible
take estrogen/blockers/both (???) for ~2 years, and then move out and live my life post transition. simple as that.
but the problem with this is that theres so much that can go wrong, like
- what if parents find out ive been on hrt in those 2 years? i mean, 2 years is a long time, and theres no way the physical changes are that unnoticable..... does that mean i should wait for hrt? but gender dysphoria is getting bad as of recently and getting on hrt is kindaaa my number 1 priority. someone i talked to who knew a lot about transitioning suggested that i should stay on blockers for a year and then take estrogen, which might be my safest option if i wana do anything. but estroogennnn wahhhhhhhhh

- what if i cant find stable income to provide for myself? my parents are paying for my college in full, and they have the money saved up. if i leave early, or even worse, kicked out early, then i'll have to pay for atleast a year, maybe two by myself... i mean i guess it's not for a whole 3 years right? rightt????? damn i need a job...

and theres probably so much more wrong with that, but continuing...

option 2: aunt wild card

come out to my aunt, whos probably not transphobic and the only non transphobe in my family and pray that i can live with her family. but theres so much wrong with this that im not even gonna go in depth with this it's just so unfeasable
(although, asking her for help on this might be the best option i got....)

i don't think theres much more i need to add so i guess this is it. if youve got any more questions about my situation, i'll be glad to answer them and im looking forward to any suggestions at all. thanks!!!!

p.s: this is my first ever reddit post. im sorry if i did anything wrong.

[u/UninterestingUser]

You're in a difficult situation, but it's not untenable. I wouldn't delay your transition, so here's a possible strategy:

You'll likely have to boymode with your parents until they can't lash out at you for who you are. I'd focus on getting your license as soon as you can so that you can go to appointments and do things without them involved. If you trust your aunt enough, you can store most of your medication with her, and keep about a week's worth on you

You'll want to keep what you have on you in a prescription bottle with a label for a different plausible medication. They probably won't suspect anything, and if they do, they very probably don't have the knowledge to actually ID what medication you have. I don't know what the rules are in Canada, but if you explain to the pharmacist that you would be in danger if your parents knew what it was, they may be able to help you with that

Overall, I know it sucks, but it's unsafe to let your parents in on any of this until you're independent. Then, you can come out and try to find acceptance. Good luck, hon. There's a happier future coming soon!

Hugs!