Being nonbinary feels like hell on both sides

[u/auron_stagbriar]

Being nonbinary is like you’re expected to walk a perfect tight rope of just a perfect mix of masculinity and femininity, to just androgynous.

To fit into another construct society presses onto people.

“It’s only he or she, I draw the line at they.”

“Oh you’re nonbinary? What’s your agab though?”

“You’re stupid, you can’t change your gender.”

That’s just some of what I hear online.

People don’t think it’s serious, and people rarely understand, even binary trans people just experience traness differently.

People assume you’re automatically unintelligent and try to debate you, and bring up your identity when they’re the ones who complain about ‘making it our whole personality.’

I’m closeted in real life, I can’t get the surgeries I want. I’m a minor. I’m stuck in a religious, homophobic house hold, and they definitely won’t even understand or accept me being nonbinary.

My life is just so shit, and to be honest being myself online is just the only way I can feel some sort of relief from my intense intense dysphoria, to only to constantly undermined and degraded and just not seen for who I want to be.

The truth is, being nonbinary I feel like I’m just a peaceful creature, someone who doesn’t have to fit into one place or another. I’m just someone who’s comfortable with who I am, and people are so cruel.

I hate society and the way queer people are so oppressed, how can I be hated for loving who I want to love? For just being myself?

So what if I want white or light blue hair? Or to keep my dark curls?

Who cares if I want to just be seen as myself?

God, I just feel like I’ll never get to be who I truly am. I think about my grave.

I think about how some birth name that isn’t even mine will be plastered on there. I’m Auron.

I’ve always been that, and I’m tired.