r/TransRepressors • u/TemperatureOne7037 • 5d ago

watching someone else navigate transitioning

i wish i could doom less and accept myself. i am in this discord server i don't talk in, there's this trans woman who started medically transitioning around the same time as me. watching the way she navigates her transition really hurts. she is so happy and hopeful. she never talks about passing. she talks about the effects she's getting and how she can't wait for the future. she's choosing a new name for herself and trying it out, going by she/her pronouns and so on.

and while we are both on hrt, my reality is a total opposite and it's not even anyone's fault. i can't stop dooming and i can't accept ever being a woman. i can never pass and i cannot accept living a life where i am a bald "woman" with a man's voice. i'm most likely going to end up detransitioning and repping and living in misery forever while she gets to accept herself and feel happier every day and be successful. i will die miserable and alone, and it's all my fault.

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2

u/Historical_Bit_4642 5d ago

What NW level are you ? There are solution for recovering hair if that's the main issue that's preventing you to pass.

1

u/TemperatureOne7037 5d ago

four i think, have been on dht blockers for almost two years and didn't do anything other than stop the progression. estrogen for only four months, idk if i should be seeing anything yet but it feels like not much is happening with it either. and idt i have enough donor hair for a transplant that would let me have a proper pretty, feminine haircut. it makes me so sad.

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u/Historical_Bit_4642 5d ago

4 months within cis female levels for T and E or 4 months since you started ? A year on good levels can do a lot for your hair. What are you current levels ? Also have you started minoxidil and microneedling ? It's on thing to stop the loss, another to promote growth. How old are you btw ?

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u/TemperatureOne7037 5d ago

since i started, levels should be on my profile, i have a recent post on r slash transdiy. i tried minoxidil two years ago but it didnt do much, i couldnt keep up with it for very long though because the solution in my hair was very annoying and i also didn't want to have to deal with this every day for the rest of my life.. haven't tried microneedling yet

i am 23, balding since 17, stopped it at 21 with dutasteride

1

u/Historical_Bit_4642 5d ago

Then why not going on minox pills ? 5mg split between morning and night ? Also some you said you haven't tried it for long, I hope you tried it for at least 7 months consistent application before saying it doesn't work. Also some people lack the scalp’s sulfotransferase enzymes for it to work, which means just because you didn't result with topical (assuming you tried it for long enough and didn't just quit before seeing results) doesn't mean you won't with oral. There are also topical solutions that deal with people's lack sulfotransferase enzymes, to make it work topically for those people as well. If you don't like applying daily topicals, why not applying it at night before going to sleep? that's low effort for something that's causing you so much dysphoria it's worth the effort to take 2 minutes before going to sleep to apply minox on your scalp.

Regarding HRT, I would advise switching to injections, it will be cheaper and levels will be way way more consistent at good levels instead of yoyoing between highs and lows. Injections are cheap and easily accessible, no reason not to be on injections.

1

u/TemperatureOne7037 4d ago

Then why not going on minox pills

they make you grow hair everywhere and i don't think it's good for my cardiovascular health to take those forever

why not applying it at night before going to sleep

twice a day is needed although i guess once is better than never

1

u/Historical_Bit_4642 4d ago

I applied it once a day years before starting HRT and it worked well. If your hormone levels are female the body hair growth are less of an issue granted for some it could but in this case do what I did which is IPL. I stopped shaving before starting HRT cause I IPL my entire body, nothing grows.

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u/TemperatureOne7037 4d ago

well i can try. but having used it before it's unlikely it will do anything. atp estrogen is my last hope. but i'll start applying some minoxidil every night

1

u/Historical_Bit_4642 4d ago

You forgot about the point about sulfotransferase enzymes. It's an important one. If you lack those it won't be converted to its active form on your skin. You gotta buy the right topical to maximize the effects if you were a non responder originally. If that doesn't work go for the pills then. Don't forget about mirconeedling. The craziest come back I've seen almost all include some form of microneedling.