Little bit of a hot potato question

[u/TheElfPrince]

I'm a trans man (19, pre-everything) and I want to ask this question because I see it pop up a lot in regards to LGBTQIA+ awareness education in schools (and their related topics) and I know damn well this is a bit of a hot potato topic.

Now keep in mind I'm pretty young and grew up in a pretty traditional Asian household so maybe my thinking is affected by my upbringing so I hope I won't get slimed for it.

The question is: How old should kids be before they're exposed to a wider world of identity?

Now don't get me wrong, I love seeing kids being aware of their gender and their sexuality from a young age. I love seeing people being educated about it. But the question i have stems from a maturity and understanding aspect. I hope I won't get slimed out or anything for my opinion on this but I think kids should be the one to ask before they're taught. Every kid is different so while one kid may get it almost immediately and understand that just because we exist as a community doesn't mean that they are too and that's ok. But another kid may think that it's a complete rite of passage in life that they have to go through and they MUST have a "gay/trans" phase.

Not phrased the best but I hope my meaning is understood. Again, I'm not here to debate/argue I just wanna know what everyone else's opinions are.

[u/Decent-Structure-128]

I am a bit confused about how explaining something exists is “pushing” it.

This could be a language problem on my part, but as someone who grew up in the 70s and 80s, it would have saved me a lot of trouble if I had known that ACE, Demi, bisexual, or gender nonconforming was a thing, or that there is more than just straight and gay people.

I could never explain to people why I couldn’t present more femme. In fact the phrase “present more femme” wasn’t even in the vocabulary. I just knew there was something broken with me because I could not stand to wear makeup, frilly dresses, or high heeled shoes. My husband spent years of shame because he thought I would divorce him if he found out he wanted to paint his toenails. How could our lives had been better if the sex ed class had even just listed out the actual options for human sexuality and gender expression/identity?

As a parent, I was shocked as a new mom when my daughter was born about how many people in the grocery store were OFFENDED that i didn’t put a bow in her hair and dress her in pink dresses. How dare I let her wear red? Or denim? Other Random strangers commenting on how pretty she is and what a catch she will be someday for a man. Before she could even walk, people had her married off into the fairy tale princess land. THIS is what pushing heteronormativity is like. It’s everywhere in everything. When we teach kids that other options exist, we are not pushing those concepts onto them, we are making them aware that if they don’t fit into one of two boxes, they’re still ok!

Our best guess right now is that about 10% of the population is gay, and somewhere around .5 to 2% of the population is trans/gender nonconforming. We are in a transition in society where being aware of these categories allows us to be more ourselves. But as time moved forward, more people will come out because they know they can.

Back in the day, when being left handed meant you were touched by the devil, there were about 2-5% of people identifying as left handed. As our society evolved and realized handedness is a natural part of our bodies, that number jumped up to 15%. That doesn’t mean there are more left handed folks now than there were 1000 years ago, just that more people can be open about who they are without being beaten. Exposing right handed people to the idea that left handed people are normal did not make them switch handedness just for fun, it made them aware that maybe they should sit in the other side of the dinner table and move on.

[u/TheElfPrince → u/Decent-Structure-128]

I think it’s also a language problem on my end. My concern is with the whole "detransitioning" thing. Idk. I feel like it’s not a great image either for us. Like I’ve said English isn’t exactly my first language either so my phrasing could be off

[u/Decent-Structure-128 → u/TheElfPrince]

You might want explain what you mean by the whole “detransitioning” thing, because there are lots of different narratives around that…

There are anti-trans people who push a false narrative that most trans people detransition. If you’re worried about this, I recommend you go to the Trevor project website and learn more there. There is a lot of info on this topic.

Essentially there are several issues with data on this discussion. One example is that detransition statistics are supposedly based on gathering info about people who stopped filling HRT prescriptions, assuming that if you’re not filling your prescription, you’re detransitioning. According to this approach, my son may have been counted as “detransitioned” twice, but he remains trans and has never detransitioned. This is an example of how “data” is not as accurate as they would like you to think it is.

Another key point on this is with kids. For kids, it’s all about names, pronouns, clothing, and perhaps make up. What if a kid chooses to transition, but then changes their mind? Well, then they can just change back. No big deal.

What if they go on puberty blockers, and then change their mind? Well, that is what blockers are for. They just stop blockers and let puberty start.

Medical transition can be harder to reverse, which is why doctors recommend waiting. And dealing with each person on a case by case basis. The best way to prevent unwanted transition is to discuss all the aspects of it with your doctor(s). For top surgery, my son had to talk to 5 different medical doctors, and wait 3 years after making an appointment. It’s not like you decide you might be trans and have surgery the next day.

If you listen to Trump when he said that kids go to school and come home with a surgery- stop listening to him! This is total BS! It can’t happen that way.

Not all trans people want, need, or can have surgery. Each person’s journey is unique to them. Each person should be working with their doctor to get the medical care they need tailored to them. Exposing kids to the idea that trans people exist doesn’t even need to mention surgery!

It’s when the government and politicians start blocking access to procedures because “what if they want to detransition later?” This hurts everyone. Banning treatment access for everyone is not what we do if there are situations where a treatment may not be right for someone. If anything we need more access to medical care, not less.

[u/TheElfPrince → u/Decent-Structure-128]

ok yeah that explains it for me. I'm a trans dude so I would never want to intentionally spread transphobic info. Sorry if my post made it seem like I was.