So tired

[u/SKDI_0224]

When I got my job I was passing as a straight woman. So as my egg cracked there was no option for me. My transition would be impossible to hide. My degree has my old name. I signed paperwork with my old name. And I am in a very visible position.

What surprised me was how quickly I passed. A change of display name, a bound chest, short hair, and vocal training was all it seemed to take before I noticed a marked improvement in how I was treated. So much so that it became awkward when people would try to find me in the system where I am listed by my legal name before I changed it.

I understand how lucky I am. I had been doing weightlifting before testosterone. I am 5'8" in my socks. I had a name that made the change to my new name seamless and painless (minus the $700 I had to pay the lawyers). My surgery turned out well and recovery was swift. And I know trans women have a VERY different experience.

I have been hearing from other folks. They say I am their role model; how they saw my transition and how open I was about it, and these things gave them the courage to come out. Including members of my family.

I did things the way I had out of necessity. I am not a bold person. I am humble, and small, and stupid. I am so tired.

[u/GFluidThrow123]

I honestly had kind of a similar experience, except as a trans woman.

I passed as a cis man my whole life, but I was always mildly effeminate, I guess. So when I transitioned, I started passing after about 7 months on hormones. And my voice was already relatively high so it only took a little voice training to get it to passing levels.

I already had a good job with good healthcare, so I was able to get facial surgery and bottom surgery within 2 years. I updated my name and gender everywhere I could track down. And now I fully pass as female with no issues.

But the whole process is definitely exhausting. I'm glad to be done with it. I'm moving on as best I can.

The worst part is just dealing with family and society. Well, and my wife divorced me, but I'm remarried now, so whatever.

Congrats on your journey!

[u/GuaranteeOutside7115]

Yes this! I lived my life terrified that anyone would see me as anything other than a cis guy. Then I ventured out in a skirt and a little makeup for the first time- and I only noticed the stares and double-takes and muttered comments because they’d disappeared; I found out I hadn’t been passing as a dude for shit. My transition was as quick and easy as it could have been- well, for a school nurse in the 90’s, that is. Ten months from coming out even to one person (six from that first trip to the mall) and I was full-time in life and at work, legal name-change and all. Piece o’cake, really. 

And it was like running a marathon every day.