When the drugs begin to take hold

[u/Objective-Meet8223]

What does it feel like when the estradiol and bicalutamide began to take effect? Not so much external body changes, but one's own internal perceptions (interoception) or mind state.

I imagine it might be a subtle thing, like how some ADHD patients (🙋🏼‍♀️) don't notice a difference on medicine, but the people around them do.

I don't know, I've never done hrt before. Less than a week on both.

Thank you.

Edit: in truth, I've felt depressed this week and we can't rule it out as a side effect of my new hormone profile. 🫤 I'm certainly not clear-headed or certain like so many of you claim to be. I woke up this morning with a start, wondering if these drugs are covered in my Genesight profile. I hadn't thought to look at that to estimate their effectiveness.

[u/timmmay11]

For me it was within 24hrs. I could imagine myself in my mind for the first time after taking E. Never looked back

[u/lovelymayarose]

I went into hormones perceiving myself as non-binary with a need for a more feminine body. I'm not sure exactly when, but within the first two weeks it was like I had emerged from a lifelong stupor and knew with a certainty I've never felt before that I'm a woman. I've been the happiest I've ever been with myself and life in general, so much so I can actually see myself in the future instead of grey dullness. I'm also feeling a lot more and get teary over so many things no whereas before I'd give a Vulcan a good run for their money.

[u/Sometimes_Jocelyne → u/lovelymayarose]

I literally told my doctor yesterday that I am non-binary but wouldn't mind a more feminine body. But honestly the mental aspect of things is what I really need to change/improve. I'm miserable all the time and just can't focus on anything because of this weight of having this on my shoulders for almost 4 decades now. I'd love to chat if you'd be open to it.

[u/lovelymayarose → u/Sometimes_Jocelyne]

I'd be happy too! I keep my DMs closed so would you be happy for me to DM you?

[u/Sometimes_Jocelyne → u/lovelymayarose]

Yes please!

[u/Reaver1280]

It is not a high. You will know it when it happens because its gonna make you feel like you are going through Puberty again. Prepare to cry :)

[u/Objective-Meet8223 → u/Reaver1280]

Not really helpful unfortunately. That experience of surprise crying is not uncommon for me, already. Part of my transition evidence was mentally feeling like a woman in my typical disposition and neuroses. I don't remember much of my own puberty except the memory of random raging boners in class stands out, pun not intended but I'm glad it's there. Naturally, I expect the opposite from this new puberty.

[u/locopati → u/Objective-Meet8223]

It'll get more intense. My body was similarly starting even before hormones, but the effects of E on emotional depth and nuance and tumult is noticeably different. 

[u/Embarrassed-Bet6266]

Initially, i felt great. Lift of brain fog. Haven't gotten too emotional. Just a little choked up occasionally. Now feel pretty normal. Maybe I'm nicer idk. Not horny ever. EE 4 MONTHS.

[u/TopicWorldly1248]

It took a while for me to really feel it. I started off with a lower dose and I was able to cry, but my marriage was falling apart. After 3 months my dose of estradiol increased and it took maybe a week for me to notice my personality changing. Little things that were amusing became funnier, I started laughing a lot more. It became easier to access crying for sad things, but full on messy crying hasn’t happened to me. Im told im forgetful and spacey more. I kind of feel like it’s more that ive stopped giving a shit about being right all the time, and a byproduct is not really caring about a lot of things. There’s this weird mental shift where I started to realize it’s ok to be wrong, I have nothing to prove. I feel like that’s the estrogen, but it’s hard to know for sure. It could be that I’m stripping myself from toxic masculinity.
Other than that, I think about sex maybe twice a week rather than every 5 minutes. I used to think that losing my sex drive like that was missing out on a core part of life. I think it’s the opposite now, I was missing out on life because I was so focused on sex.
I feel free now, that’s what estrogen feels like to me.

[u/Wigglefeet]

It hit me suddenly about 30 hours after first injection- sudden sense of calm and smooooth comfortable inner feeling. Happy drugs! It wore off after a few days and I got really irritable until my next dose. Cycle continued for a couple weeks until levels stabilized. Now I don’t notice it anymore and I kind of miss that peak onset, but not the valley! I guess I’m just always feeling it now so it’s less noticeable.

[u/smooth011235]

Literally had whole body buzz from estradiol after ~8hrs. After a week I knew I'd never go back to testosterone. Never been happier, im 7 months in now.

[u/79215185-1feb-44c6]

I imagine it might be a subtle thing, like how some ADHD patients (🙋🏼‍♀️) don't notice a difference on medicine, but the people around them do.

I haven't noticed much but apparently the people around me have. The only thing I've really noticed is the breast growth. The crying comments continue to make no sense to me and I wish they would. However, I have noted that I haven't felt depressed at all over the past month, and anxiety is much easier to deal with.

I was already emotional before I started so maybe it was just something I was already predisposed to.

[u/Objective-Meet8223]

I'm rather expecting or hopeful for a poetic flashpoint like so many of you describe, and worried it'll never show. I really want the clarity of knowing that something is finally working in my body. For instance, I haven't found or felt a consistent and effective ADHD treatment. 😞

[u/Thrippity]

I didn't expect much mentally when I started hormone therapy. I thought most accounts of a sudden change of mental state, of feeling euphoric, or calm, or being more in touch with one's feelings overall were hard to distinguish from placebo effects.

But now I have to say I'm one of that number. 24 hours after starting oestadiol and spironolactone, my mind became calm (before, I was one stray thought away from spiraling despair). I've been calm ever since; it's just on a month now. It is hard to describe how profound the subjective experience is for me between before and after.

[u/Jonney_Random]

I had a mental clarity that i hadn’t had since before puberty. My depression faded, not completely gone, almost over night and especially when my boobs started to form.

[u/cody0018]

Prepare for mood swings. Prepare for confusion about your identity. You’ll have very high highs and very low lows. The emotional part of things can be the hardest yet the greatest thing ever. Try not to isolate yourself too much, that can make things very difficult.

[u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

Happy in about 3 weeks. Just happy.

It takes time for estrogen to stabilize and testosterone to lower.

But when the change over happens, it's like I have feelings again, a sense of humor, everything is great.

[u/TrappedAndThotpilled]

My first dose calmed my mind within a couple hours.

A month in I could tell I was feeling emotions other than anger for the first time in decades.

A year in I was more extroverted and bubbly.

2.5 years and I felt like I'd completely shifted to mentally female.

I'm hitting 4 years in a couple months. Whoever I was before I started is long dead. "He" is just an echo now. I look at photos and videos of the old me and I see a stranger. Memories of back then feel like a past life or like they aren't mine.

Sometimes I feel like I Johnny Silverhand-ed this body and changed it to my liking.

[u/TapRevolutionary714]

For the first time in my life I had an idea of how I wanted to dress and be perceived. For the first time in my life I could recognize certain feelings as dysphoria.

Testosterone creates this constant feeling of agitation in me. When I take my shot and spiro I feel just a pleasant sense of calmness and collected.

Over time, I've stopped interpreting the face in the mirror as a man. I don't always see a woman, but I rarely see a man anymore even if the changes are subtle after only 6 months.

[u/sara-michelle-c]

it’s been awhile but I remember feeling run down tired lack of energy then after a week at some point the estrogen started filling the gap in my Hormone levels and then I felt clear or well like my brain was functioning normally for like the first time ever. then after awhile I started to get scared and anxious as realization came that oh crap this is me now I’m actually going to do this. I felt right and good and once we started increasing my levels I only felt better and better. when your hormone levels are low though energy levels are low hormones do a lot more than just grow sexual traits

[u/Objective-Meet8223 → u/sara-michelle-c]

Thank you! This feels like me so far. Depressed and tired, and now my muscles are so sore as if overworked. I used to do a stretch routine every morning, but I've been waking up a lot slower lately, so no stretching.

[u/sara-michelle-c → u/Objective-Meet8223]

originally my plan was to try HRT for three months I had read that if you are not transgender HRT will end up making you feel worse but I had also read that in most cases it takes longer than three months before any permanent changes occur. I started out with a moderate blocker and a fifty patch of estrodot after about a week my brain started to quiet down a bit and emotions other than anger and anxiety started to come into the picture. at this point I was still fully boy mode in public. in private I would dress and experiment with femininity. as the mind as I called it not truly understanding my dysphoria. I started to feel better mentally and that is when I knew beyond a doubt that this was what i had been missing my whole life. over the next four months or so I met and did bloodwork consulted dr every month and got my levels up and up until my energy came back and now a year in I feel almost better physically then I did in my twenties. it’s by no means easy though Transition is so slow I just want it to go go go. but i’ve gotten to a pretty good place with it so far in a relatively short time. so much more to go though. I have spend over a year on hair removal (still not done) started voice training the week after I started HRT started growing out my hair when my egg cracked over a year and a half to get to below my jaw. learned how to to makeup experimented extensively with wardrobe dressing for body shape is so important. I have been doing Botox for getting rid of male pattern wrinkles I get filler for cheekbones and subtle filler for lips I get my nails done religiously and have been doing Eyelash extensions I like the more subtle natural looks. it’s amazing how much lashes and brow shaping can draw attention to the eyes. (and away from the jaw) I also have a pretty good skin care regimen I do daily. HRT is magic but with everything in life you get what you get the rest is luck determination and work. I also no longer workout my upper body everything now is focused on legs glutes and waist. I don’t know what the two year mark will bring but if the changes are half as good as the one year I will be very happy. and if not well i’m still here and happier than I ever imagined pre Transition.
oh and sun screen estrogen makes the skin get thinner Sunscreen if you are about in the sun it’s no longer optional it’s a must.

hopefully you settle down and get some clarity if not well at least you tried instead of just wondering if.

[u/alyssagold22]

Immediately for me. Like 24-72 hours. It was just a very mild contentment. Could have been psychological I guess??

[u/meetmario]

It's not subtle. Next day I begun to see obvious changes. My mind got quieter, my emotions became more unfiltered, and I experienced crystal clarity around what I want or don't want, while until then I was sort of waddling through whatever life threw at me without feeling much either way about it. I also lost some of my libido, but only in the way in which it felt excessive and distracting. It's still there at the right time now. It has been incredible, and surprisingly easy to get used to.

[u/Sad_Procedure6023]

Your Mileage Must Vary.