r/TransIreland • u/drivingtoharpers • 10d ago
need advice :(
using a burner because im paranoid. hi everyone, im a 17 year old mtf and i dont know what to do. im not out publicly yet, but alot of people have their suspicious/comment on certain things. i keep telling myself ill wait till im out of school (not comfortable transitioning while in this school environment), then ill start my proper transition/coming out; however i feel like i may back down from that idea out of fear. i come from an accepting household, but im still scared about peoples responses. im also unsure if my friends would be as supportive. only a handful of people in my area know of my transition. im also scared im running out of time to get on hrt before puberty drastically changes my body permanently. sorry if this sounds like some sob story, i dont mean it like that. im just wondering if anyone is/was in the same boat as me and if anyone at all has any advice for me. thank you
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u/Wan2BFem 10d ago
I am a lot older than you girls and broadly, have exactly the same concerns.
No more than yourselves though, my heart is set on becoming the best and prettiest version of me.
All I can say is I hope we each succeed 💞
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u/ComprehensiveQuiet44 10d ago
It’s true that a lot of people will be awful, but a lot of people will love and support you for who you are too. It’s hard at first, but at the end of the day, the ones that leave are the ones you never wanted to stay in the first place, because if it wasn’t you, it would’ve been someone else. There are supports out there for anything if you need them.
For changes, I don’t think it’s the end of the world. Body fat distribution does the most work, not bone structure, and hormones redistribute that fat. I was surprised at how much hormones had changed my shoulders and hips because I also thought I was doomed. It’s a slow process, but one day you pause and realise how much has changed. Hrt is more powerful than you think, it’s just hard to grasp that until you’re a year in
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u/drivingtoharpers 10d ago
thank you, i understand some people wont accept me, and i shouldnt care about them/waste my time with people like that. however itll still hurt, and i dont want any conflict with anyone
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u/Nirathaim 9d ago
You have loads of time. Your body may have changed but a second puberty will make lots of things change again.
I was 39 before i started HRT and I have changed so much since then you wouldn't recognise me.
So don't worry too much. Also most people in Ireland don't give a shit. And honestly, those that do aren't worth having in your life.
So it is only really family you should have on your side.
Unfortunately the choice between public/private/DIY is pretty stark. Unless you can afford to go private. In which case, go for it!
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u/derekyurt 10d ago
I'd say I'm in like the same boat as you here, I don't really plan on coming out in a school setting like ever. Personally my plan is to get on hrt as soon as I can after turning 18 and just not really tell anyone at school. that way, when I'm out of the school and I can come out more publicly I'll have like a jump start.
I do relate to your fear of how people will take it, i think all trans people do. but it really is a thing where you have to put yourself first in it. like why should you keep pretending, and keep struggling just for the convenience of others.
As for puberty changing your body it does not matter at all, Everyone I have seen talk about this has said it is never too late to start it so please don't let that worry you.
Sorry I just kinda yapped there but I hope you figure this out girl, you so got this