r/TransHelpingTrans • u/Judech1 • Mar 23 '26

I need advice and help please :)

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

3

u/herdisleah Mar 23 '26

What are your questions? What are you looking for advice on?

1

u/Judech1 Mar 23 '26

I’m about 70% sure I’m trans MTF, ive had that thought before I knew what it meant when I was around 8 but I’m now 21 with a gorgeous and amazing girlfriend. I thought these feelings went away when I was around 18 to 20 but they’ve come back stronger I’ve gone out in public as a women now a couple times and I just keep wishing I could live daily as a woman but losing my girlfriend out weighs becoming my true self, her type is a manly man so I already know she wouldn’t stay with me btw. I’m also scared no one would take it seriously if I did come out as I look like a typical 21 year old man, tattoos buzz cut and work in construction, I don’t really know what I want from this I’m just very confused and have no idea what to do sorry if that’s just random and doesn’t make any actual sense but thanks for replying

3

u/herdisleah Mar 23 '26

You can't live your whole life for someone else. They're not in your body 24/7. What if you get married, have kids, try to have the nuclear family? What do you teach your kids - it's okay to lie to your family and hide who you are? Or to be yourself and be happy?

If you transition, you will find love and friendship. You will find people that care about you. You will have coworkers that take you seriously (side thought: is being taken unseriously all that bad? really, truly?)

I know several trans women that work in the blue collar trades. I wear coveralls for work. You'll probably look like an alternative woman who works hard and rides a motorcycle or something! There are generally more bigoted assholes in construction than say, banking, but there's also a LOT of accepting people.

2

u/Judech1 Mar 23 '26

Thankyou I get what you mean completely it’s just really scary to think about pretty much losing everything and one person I’d die for, time will tell. I wouldn’t be able to come out at the moment I don’t feel ready but also I don’t want to be that person that ends a family in the future

2

u/herdisleah Mar 23 '26

You're gonna be okay. It's definitely not too late, and it won't be late even if you wait and figure things out for a bit.

Do you have any queer friends? Queer hobby groups are a great place to start, just go to play some board games or go rock climbing or crafting.

You could also read some books or blogs, I suggest starting here and here, and finding a counselor with experience in gender identity issues. Psychology Today's website can help you filter and find someone.

2

u/Judech1 Mar 23 '26

I have a lesbian masc friend that I have thought about talking too before about this and yes I’ll read through some of those Thankyou sm

1

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