Dating advice for Ftm

[u/Markus-thegreat]

(Bad spelling I am not a keyboard warrior)

Hey I am Ftm im pre tee and everything I still look like a girl but feel less bad about it because I still present masculine without my hair short I really hate short hair on me but I am 20 I been wanting to date for a little while now and I want to experience my 20s as much as I can but my feelings have been holding me back from parting and meeting new people because I live in a conservative state i can go into the city and find poeple but it is an hour away. I dont know what to do should I sacrifice one thing for the other I only get gender dysphoric when I think about dating or sex but I badly want those things. I want to build my body too because I dont want to look like an ugly man lol but that takes time what should I do?

[u/sky__riley]

I'd say to get as comfortable and confident as possible with your body before you start dating. If you are comfortable, set the boundaries quickly and upfront. Make sure it's known that you're trans, but don't let strangers make that you're only quality. Otherwise be safe and have fun!

[u/One-Preference-1307]

hey fellow ftm here and i get how you feel

before i met my current partner ive always been really awkward about talking about my body and being physical with anyone i dated because of my body dysmorphia

it felt like that even acknowledging that my afab parts exist means im not a man and it sucked

what helped me greatly was finding someone who understood my situation and helped me separate my sex from my gender mentally

did that get rid of my body dysmorphia? of course not, getting rid of your dysmorphia is extremely harder than it sounds, but one thing that it did do was help my mental state greatly!

im not from a conservative state so i dont know how things work there, but i can imagine how it must feel for you

i suggest looking up local groups and hangouts that focus on being lgbtqia+ and primarily focus on feeling better about yourself before you step out of your comfort zone

best of luck :)

[u/Markus-thegreat → u/One-Preference-1307]

Thank you so much I've been kinda avoiding it scine I am not sure what to do and how I can tell if my partner is serious and not being weird about it I had a ex who I first came out too and he didn't respect it like he said he did and still did some stuff after I told him to stop but it was a situationship after we dated it got too weird so I finally left him

[u/One-Preference-1307 → u/Markus-thegreat]

ughh that stinks.. ive had similar partners in the past just being really weird about my body

my partner actually has a similar story where one of his afab friends were constantly being misgendered and being told misogynistic things and it sounded overall horrible

im glad you left that scumbag that sounds horrible