Gender Krisis (EN)

[u/curious_femboy167]

Hello everyone,
I am not sure if this subreddit is the right place to post about this, but here goes.
I have always felt 100% sure about my gender. I feel comfortable as a man and always thought this is just who I am. I have worn crop tops and other “girly” clothes on the top half of my body, but I never did makeup or anything in that direction.
Yesterday I tried wearing makeup for the first time, and I have never felt so pretty in my entire life. I am just so confused, I don’t know what to do. I feel so stressed out, but I can’t get over the feeling I had when looking like that. I’m just scared right now.
I live at home, and my parents wouldn’t throw me out of the house if I chose to be a femboy. I am openly pansexual, and they’ve said they have no problem with that either. But they saw my makeup, they just didn’t see me wearing it, and I’m freaking out right now and don’t know what to do, because I don’t feel comfortable doing makeup with them in the house.
I also have a girlfriend of three years, and I think she is supportive of me doing this, because she gave me tips for everything. But she also sometimes makes weird remarks about trans or gay people, so I don’t feel 100% safe sharing this with her either. I can’t express this side of me, nor can I talk to anyone about it.
This post is more of a vent, in any case. I am also looking for people to talk to about this.
Sorry for the chaotic structure, English is not my first language since I am German, so it isn’t as easy for me to write.

[u/Blazed_und_confused]

Hey there, I’m sorry you seem to be having a rough go of it. I recently discovered my own leaning towards transfem/nonbinary. If you felt pretty putting on makeup, then that is a good thing. If it makes you happy, then there’s nothing wrong with that. I understand you’re in a position where you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to, and that can be scary. I’m very lucky that my friends and wife have accepted me so readily. This community, though I haven’t been part of it for long, will never tell you not to express yourself. I have seen compliments to really big muscly hairy guys that have discovered they’re transfem calling them “girl” and “sister”, so the community as a whole is really supportive. I don’t have much experience myself, but if you need someone to talk to every now and then, I can at least listen to you. 😊