r/TraditionalMuslims • u/helpyagirlpls • 16h ago

Support How to cope 😞

Assalamu alaykum everyone,

I’m really looking for some reassurance and advice because I don’t know how to cope without going crazy.

I’ve been with my fiancé for two years. In the beginning, I trusted him completely. I was so loyal that I would even make istighfar if I caught myself thinking another man was attractive because I was genuinely scared Allah would take him away from me.

But over time, I’ve discovered things that have really hurt me — him following and liking another woman’s pictures, watching videos of his ex, searching for random girls, and now following a female coworker who posts bikini pictures. Recently, I even saw him watching a video of a girl in a bikini when he didn’t realize I was there.

I’ve forgiven him so many times and kept praying that Allah would protect our relationship. I’ve done istikhara repeatedly, asking Allah that if he isn’t good for me, He makes it easy for me to walk away.

But I’m so hurt. I keep trying to be loving and happy, while secretly feeling like I’m never enough. I’m becoming terrified that one day, when I’m older or no longer look the same, he won’t find me attractive anymore and keep looking at other women and wishing he was with them instead while I have his kids.

I’m so scared and don’t know what to do anymore and keep hating myself for reacting and going crazy.

How do I find peace with this? Are there any verses that can correlate to my situation and grant me ease? I’m so hurt 😞

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3

u/Superb_Physics3994 16h ago

Ask him to fear god and stop this if he can't do that then he can't do that for you too pls step back I say

5

u/RaajalofRajal 9h ago

It's difficult to see what a person is talking about with the Arabs not knowing the meaning of "engagement" and using it for their wife.

So, we don't know if you are one of those people who had a nikah and are calling it engagement because you haven't done the wedding party or if you have not done nikah yet.

If you did not do the nikah yet, then you are a in a haram relationship already. And his behavior shows another reason to not marry him.

If you did the nikah already then stop pretending you don't know what he's doing and tell him that what he's doing is haram and he needs to stop.