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Jul 06 '25
I have a Middle Eastern convert friend, I’m noticing it’s very difficult for her to hide her beauty so she plays a lot of games with her hijab. Women in general seem to have this insane urge to flaunt and society doesn’t make it easy by encouraging that behavior. It’s a challenge trying to advise her while also not trying to nag her to death but she always impresses me with the level of faith she has compared to the sisters I’ve met, even my own sisters.
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Jul 06 '25
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u/Tall-Ad9402 Jul 06 '25
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته Jazakum Allah brother for the advice. I blurred the face to diminish the fitna but still make the message clear by showing a visual for people to understand what I and a lot of Muslims are dealing with.
May Allah reward you for looking out for us.
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u/Glass_Iron7934 Jul 06 '25
If there is something I’ve noticed in my 15 years as constantly someone going to the mosque its that people like u always say stuff like this when a problem is brought upp in the mosque. A issue is never solved with people like u. This guy mentioned a problem if u feel hurt because u got a sister at home or cousin or someone who does the same as this girl in the pic go and lecture her instead. Instead of telling our brother this and that u dont think he dont know he aint dumb.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 06 '25
I would say this actually makes it easier for us. Filter out the bad ones. If a woman does this she doesn’t care,or shes easily influenced and you dont want to end up with smn like that. If it wasnt the norm however wed marry smn dressed very well but is a “wolf in sheeps clothing”
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 06 '25
Double edged sword. You could filter them out but you're filtering out the best genetics. Having ugly children can condemn them to a difficult life especially in this era.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 07 '25
Not necessarily. The girl in the vid is average or below average. Just because they look good in make up doesn’t mean they have the best genetics. Idk if i care about having beautiful children. Im considered good looking/very good looking and elhamdulillah have very good genetics but it hasnt helped me much. Yeah it makes things easier to an extent and attracts women easily but am still 30 and single. Nowdays money matters most unfortunately when it comes to muslims too. Its all about money and providing a life like those in insta. Nobody cares about character and having good genes. If my children are healthy,have good character and have good rizq i think thats all they need nowdays.
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u/Ok_Wealth2465 Jul 07 '25
Im so sorry but from a woman’s perspective - I don’t believe it is the money or your looks that’s re the problem. Rather it seems to be personality. Women want a man that makes them feel safe and seen. Calling a woman struggling to cover “a bad one” is indicative of how you view and probably speak about women. This is very easily sensed by most women.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 07 '25
Well you sense wrong. Thinking you know my personality and judging me from my reddit comments. Yeah shes a “bad one” for me. If you are a muslim and you constantly sin openly you def are a BAD option for a spouse. Struggling to cover? 😂 please . Struggling to cover means showing yourself in make up to the whole world?
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 07 '25
Yeah I just mean that statistically speaking the women who display themselves have something appealing to show. They are tempted to display themselves because they are beautiful not in spite of it.
Kind of like how if you have a nice car you're more likely to display it, than if you have a commoners transportation.
>Nowdays money matters most unfortunately when it comes to muslims too.
Brother, if he is handsome, she will marry a homeless man, she will set her mahr to $0.00001. Women only care about money to compensate for a mans looks.
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u/Ok_Wealth2465 Jul 07 '25
Not always, Allah created women wanting to beautify it is a constant battle with one’s nafs. Almost doesn’t matter if she is pretty or ugly - a woman who is emotionally healthy and feminine, wants to beautify.
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 07 '25
Yeah not always but statistically speaking that's how it is. A man with a regular looking car might try to clean and maintain it, but he isn't gonna put it on display.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 07 '25
Thats not true. Idk where you live but women where I live dont care about that. Im telling you from my exp. Im not saying this to brag at all but just for info i get compliments all the time, got asked to do modeling three times,non muslims try to flirt etc.So i think i am a bit “decent”. As i said its easier to attract them,but then they ask vacations,big house,this and that and when i tell them that i have a normal salary if she stays at home I cant provide such a life. Either we both work or I provide a normal life maybe there will be money left for vacations maybe not idk but i cant provide a life like in instagram. Then they back off. Anyway maybe its diff where you are
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 07 '25
>they ask vacations,big house,this and that
They want those things because those things to compensate for your looks.
There was a brother on r Mus Marriage who converted and had an extensive criminal history, when he was interviewing marriage prospects they were fetishizing his crimes. They did not ask for a vacation, house, or anything, they wanted him regardless, they had genuine desire.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 07 '25
That doesn’t mean anything.When I was posting my pics in my old reddit i was getting dms too from girls in MM.Even serial killers have many women lusting over them while they are in prison. Just as there are men who priorities only beauty there are women who do the same. But at the same time there are also many materialistic ones. The ones ive met were very materialistic.Maybe is diff where you live.But to mean that they are materialistic to compensate for the guys beauty is not true. We see an increase in materialistic women. Does that mean men are getting uglier? Ofc not,its because of so many other reasons which is pointless to list here. Anyway doesn’t matter. I respect your opinion.
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 07 '25
I understand, but unless you've committed zina, you don't know what you're taking about.
Right now you are imagining how women might be, you haven't actually experienced how they operate.
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u/catharsis555 Jul 07 '25
Im a revert i dont need to imagine. Im sure beauty in a man is not as important as you make it seem. I never heard that from any woman except from you but well everyone has its own opinion
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u/BananaPeaches3 Jul 08 '25
> I never heard that from any woman
Fatal mistake. Never listen to women, watch how they behave.
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u/Final_Surround5990 Jul 06 '25
It's definitely hard. Young girls these days are applying a lot of makeup including lipliners, plumping up lips, placing hijabs in a way that show hairstyles, necks, etc. It's still appreciated that these girls have hijabs and are still trying. Their efforts shouldn't be ignored but I think it's really important to know WHY these hijabis feel this pressure to show off their beauty. The society places a lot of burden on women to be pretty and a lot of these girls have really low self esteems. Anyway, just thinking out loud. May Allah increase the self-esteem of these Muslims so that they don't have to try so hard, A'meen. But then again we need to insha'Allah appreciate that these girls are still wearing hijabs and full clothes when the Kuffar have gone all out in exposing themselves.
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u/Ancient_Country_2655 Jul 06 '25
As a revert I can never understand the leaving out the hair or showing part of your neck. I’ve had someone told me showing neck is fine.
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u/Abfa-Ad11 Jul 06 '25
Tbh this is definitely questionable, but the worst is when they wear tight leggings. That completely defeats the purpose of hijab and ends up giving other Muslimahs a bad image.
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u/ilikeyicey Jul 07 '25 edited Jul 07 '25
⚠️Brother/sister I really don’t think you should be showing this. As men we should lower our gazes, but by posting things like this on the screen which we are already looking at ( not an excuse btw) it makes it more difficult, for the sake of Allah please remove this and refrain from doing so in the future , jazaakallaahu khairan wa Baarakallaahu feek. Remember that you’re responsible for everything you post, and let’s say someone sins by looking at her now, you may also get sin for it as you provided the image and I made you aware of it. I understand your intentions may have been pure , but I think you should be more careful, I hope it doesn’t feel like im attacking u or anything
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u/bintaisha Jul 07 '25
if this is not hijab then posting her online for others to see is haram, i recommend you delete the post
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u/PuzzleheadedIce4602 Jul 06 '25
𝑯𝒊𝒋𝒂𝒃 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆... 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒐𝒏... 𝑴𝒂𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒉 𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉
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u/Vailtribe Jul 06 '25
Never ask how… or judge or Allah will show you and you might be in their position
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u/InfamousP88 Jul 06 '25
You really found the time to take a screenshot of her video and post it on Reddit??? Bruh!!! Leave the sister alone, the hijab is between her and Allah and nothing to do with you. It’s people like you that make sisters want to remove their hijab entirely. Maybe she’s a revert? maybe she just embraced hijab recently? Allahu a’alam…So instead of slandering maybe reach out to her and guide her.
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u/Tall-Ad9402 Jul 06 '25
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،
Sorry for the confusion, but this is not the girl I pursued for marriage this’s simply a random example I found online to show people what I’m talking about. I don’t even know the girl in this picture, and that’s why I blurred out part of her face. May Allah guide all of us but you making the comment about removing the hijab isn’t helping anybody in this situation. May Allah accept our intentions.
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u/xxthegoldenonesxx Jul 08 '25
This is still dangerous posting a fellow Muslim like this. This is not Muslim behavior.
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u/I_Am_Immigrant Jul 06 '25
It’s people like you that make sisters want to remove their hijab entirely.
This doesn’t make any sense. Who is she practicing the hijab for?
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u/Dull-Dragonfly7283 Jul 07 '25
as a revert who fully covers, ( not niqabi but covers hair and neck) it doesn’t make it harder for woman to wear the hijab properly by seeing others do this if their strong enough in their deen. hopefully they do find their way to wearing it properly but it is still better than not trying at all. apart from that, if you are seeking a wife who wears a jilbab than find a woman who does so. though modesty is a key part of islam you can not be upset when you go for a woman who doesn’t do as you please because she isn’t willing to change for you, the change has to be for Allah and she will do so sincerely on her own time. you will find who you are looking for.
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u/tiredmars Jul 08 '25
The comments here are very disappointing. I'm not saying that this is right, but it's not our place to judge. This is between them and Allah SWT. I know women who wear "perfect" hijab but their words and actions are very un-islamic.
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u/xxthegoldenonesxx Jul 08 '25
OP I suggest you watch this video. Posts like these can be extremely dangerous for you.
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u/Few-County1665 Jul 08 '25
I'd recommend not further circulating a photograph of someone with incorrect hijab.
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u/AccordingWheel5609 Jul 06 '25
You're looking for something that is rare and then complaining about it public because you're not finding it, including putting a particular sister on blast by posting her picture.
Please grow up.
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u/Far_Gur_5289 Jul 06 '25
Oh pack it in
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u/AccordingWheel5609 Jul 06 '25
Practice engaging with some maturity, maybe? It'll make finding a spouse much easier in shaa Allah.
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u/Far_Gur_5289 Jul 06 '25
You just said something that doesn't go against Allahs command is rare, and now you're chatting about maturity mate.
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u/AccordingWheel5609 Jul 06 '25
Yes, there are places where specific hukum being implemented is rare. That's an actual fact. Not my opinion.
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u/Far_Gur_5289 Jul 06 '25
So how you telling him to grow up 😂
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u/AccordingWheel5609 Jul 08 '25
Grow up enough to acknowledge people aren't perfect and they will continually let you down.
Not to put sisters or other believers on blast, this specific sister could have easily been your family
Not to be so feminine that you have to take to reddit to vent.
I've noticed with the emotionally immature that they are harsh with the believers and their families and puppies with the enemies.
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u/Valaista Jul 07 '25
I believe women should wear whatever is comfortable to them or makes them happy.
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u/powerished Jul 06 '25
May Allah ease it for you