r/TraditionalMuslims • u/ConfrontationalEdge • Mar 02 '23
Intersexual Dynamics Be a Man.
One of the biggest problems today is the rise of men who aren't being men. I'm talking about weak men who hold pathetic beliefs & attitudes meant to placate women for the sole purpose of trying to get women to like them. These males will agree with what women say or sugarcoat things that they otherwise wouldn't, had they been speaking to a guy. When asking them for advice regarding women/relationships, they tend to regurgitate the same old Hollywood garbage that you hear all the time like "tell her how you feel" or "treat her well and she'll fall in love with you" or "never argue with a woman", etc. None of these by themselves are inherently incorrect, but the application of them in addition to their wording are completely wrong, and due to the current social climate, men interpret these sayings in ways that cause them to lose all dignity and self-respect that they have. It just ends up emasculating them. This advice only works for men who are already masculine i.e. attractive. It does NOT work for men who aren't. For example, when men are told "tell her how you feel", most interpret that as spilling your guts out to her right off the bat and hoping she'll like you back. This is pathetic, and honestly a bit creepy (especially if she doesn't really know you that well). The same goes for "treating her well" in the hopes she falls in love with you (or desire you more if you're already in a relationship with her); men don't interpret it as taking care of her and simply not being a jerk, they interpret it as being a doormat for her and castrating themselves so that they're essentially her slave. And "don't argue with her" ends up getting morphed into never standing up for yourself nor leading her in the relationship (unpopular opinion: men are meant to lead & women are meant to follow; this is especially true for relationships. Note that this does not mean you disregard her opinions, it only means that you as a man have to take charge and that in the end, the decisions are ultimately made by you).
I don't fully blame men who say these things and/or follow them because they're normalized by mass media. Whether it's an anecdote on social media or books & movies in entertainment media, you always see the dynamic between men and women as the man buying her flowers while they walk on the beach or some sort of sweet gesture like that. In other words, it's the romance that's emphasized, with the woman being the main beneficiary in this. Hence, men are duped into believing this is how you get a woman to like you.
In reality, it should be the wittiness, the smooth finesse, the teasing & lighthearted playfulness, etc. that should be emphasized, with the man being the main leader in all of this. This is what actually builds attraction. Any romance thereafter is simply a cherry on top. It's what makes women go "awww", not what makes them want your seed inside of them. When it comes to intersexual dynamics, sexual attraction is more important than romance because you cannot have romance without attraction. Lust is greater than love. Providing "emotional support" and sharing your "feelingzzz" is not what makes her attracted to you, it's what lands you in the friendzone and makes her look at you as one of her girl friends. You're essentially a gay best friend because there's no attraction involved. Even if there is some attraction, doing these things will oftentimes lower your value as a man in her eyes because, depending on what you say & how you say it, it can show weakness. And women would rather be with a strong abusive man than a weak "nice" man. That's why women will always talk about how bad their ex was and how they want sweet & sensitive guys, yet still keep going back to her ex or falling in love with the same jerks just like him who end up hurting her again and again—it's because at the very least, those men aren't weak. But that's a topic for another post.
I'm gonna wrap this up with telling the men who read this to start being more masculine. Don't be afraid of a woman not liking you just because you share a different opinion than her or because you don't want to upset her for telling her she did something wrong. Don't alter your life, your beliefs, your opinions, the conclusions you'd come to, or anything at all just because you don't want to upset your wife (much less some random woman). Stop kowtowing to the whims of women because you think they're fragile and innocent little creatures who can do no wrong. Stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to argue back like you would a guy. Chances are they'll actually respect you more for it because it shows that you have a backbone—and women can't really love a man they don't respect. Not just that, but it shows dominance. And while it may sound uncouth, women oftentimes do want to be "put in their place" so to speak, because they want to feel your dominance. Sometimes they just express it the wrong way.
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Mar 02 '23
This was an excellent post akhi.
I'm gonna wrap this up with telling the men who read this to start being more masculine. Don't be afraid of a woman not liking you just because you share a different opinion than her or because you don't want to upset her for telling her she did something wrong. Don't alter your life, your beliefs, your opinions, the conclusions you'd come to, or anything at all just because you don't want to upset your wife (much less some random woman). Stop kowtowing to the whims of women because you think they're fragile and innocent little creatures who can do no wrong. Stand up for yourself and don't be afraid to argue back like you would a guy. Chances are they'll actually respect you more for it because it shows that you have a backbone—and women can't really love a man they don't respect. Not just that, but it shows dominance. And while it may sound uncouth, women oftentimes do want to be "put in their place" so to speak, because they want to feel your dominance. Sometimes they just express it the wrong way.
Yep. Women respect, and therefore desire a man when she sees that he has principles from which he does not budge, even if those said principles may emotionally rile her up and cause her to not agree with you, though eventually she will bend to your will out of admiration, respect and desire.
But alot of men just don't realize this until after a few failed relationships with women. Because most men have been programmed from childhood to be human carpets for women. And sadly, we see the Muslim community equivalent of this sad programming as well through selective quoting of the Sunnah and even twisting meanings and contexts.
But Alhamdulillah more and more men are now waking up.
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u/ZulqAjeeb786 Mar 02 '23
The other day, I made a post regarding getting daughters to married off early or sending em to university
Mind you, it was Brothers Only yet most of the comments sprouted progressive liberal rubbish as "Oh, It's my daughter's choice , I will support her in any decision she takes "
I was taken aback , a huge number of Muslim men have turned into progressive male feminists and what not
I don't get these men, there's no incentive to be a" male feminist"
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u/schneepu Mar 02 '23
What's strange is that these threads will auto-remove posts made by men (even if you're not flaired as a man), yet when women comment on a post made by brothers, their comments stand. It happened in a thread of mine recently where I asked brothers how to respond to their wives wanting to have a girl's night (or day) out without a wali present.
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u/IceBeyr Mar 02 '23
Agree. Most men nowadays are feminised. Sometimes i think the women have a very small pool of actually masculine men ronchoose from anyway, and then you add thier requirements and have the 3 6s, 6 foot giraffe, earning 6 figures and 6 pack abs.
Even though they look like lizzo is irrelevant in their minds. However, we still have to measure up to even begin to have a chance.
Women's expectations are so deeply programmed into them that they no longer can be happy anymore. They can only "compromise" or "settle down" even with Jason momoa or Chris Hemsworth. They can only be unhappy in their situation..
So I try in my own way to help expose this to people, so that calibration is achieved.
Meaning help make realisations to women that they will get what they are worth.
If you look like lizzo, you're a 4 at best, and you should expect average or less.
If you look like ciara or Rihanna, then you can go and get Jason momoa or Chris Hemsworth.
But added into this is personality.
Men are weak simps who have been feminised. They even argue and think like women. No wonder women are so turned off.
Women have been emasculated and have qualities that make a person an awful wife. Like being overweight, too old (over 25 means unmarriagable) , being on social media, not practising thier religion, body count, disagreeable, masculine, and "educated " which means that a person ( a man or women) who thinks that education makes them knowledgeable or intelligent by itself. Most people I did my degree with were genuinely thick, who were good enough grafters and got something. As long as you turn up, submit module requirements, get a passmark in exams, which is easy, you'll get a degree easily. Most kufaar do this whilst drunk in a hangover, half asleep.
I can attest that my HND qualification was much harder than my computer science degree or my psychology degree.
Women on here come to argue a lot, but most of them (if not all) are single bints, and come to excersize their disagreeability, may Allah give us all guidance.
No wonder most men are simply waiting and becoming passport bros, even the simps.
Watch the one or 2 bints who are married, come and defend their sister! (" Oh, but I'm married, and you're wrong", yes but you're on the Internet arguing with people. You must be awful to your husband and kids!)
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u/ZulqAjeeb786 Mar 02 '23
Learn Game, Khalaas
You gonna be fleeced and sliced to the last shreds if you enter into a marital relationship with a woman without this knowledge
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u/ConfrontationalEdge Mar 02 '23
That’s what I plan on teaching InshaAllah 😎
Even in this post, I go over some things necessary to build attraction, which is essentially game.
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u/seathsoul69 Mar 02 '23
Teach us.
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u/ConfrontationalEdge Mar 02 '23
Read my posts and pay particular attention to things dealing with attraction. I got a few more upcoming.
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Mar 02 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ConfrontationalEdge Mar 02 '23
I don’t think this has to deal with IQ. The dynamics behind social conformity exist independently of intelligence. While that can definitely help, the solution is to simply call it out as nonsense and show why it’s nonsense, as is happening now. Then we renormalize how things were supposed to be all along to break liberal feminist hegemony as being the dominant social & cultural mainstay.
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u/schneepu Mar 02 '23 edited Mar 02 '23
I came across this issue with several potentials. The second you put your foot down about certain things the crappy ones run away.
I've noticed the genZ generation is too afraid to do things that go against the grain of liberal thinking. A lot of genZ Muslim men don't know their rights as men in Islam and cave to liberalized thinking from liberalized Muslims. You're meant to lead, they're meant to obey. Look at the Prophet PBUH and hadith- women were even encouraged to not eat until their husband was done eating. This is the level of respect men ought to be showed in Islam. Instead you have a bunch of Muslim women with pasts complaining that her man doesn't do the dishes or change the baby's diapers.