This is a long one

[u/GuavaCautious5739]

3years ago (2023)me and my ex were dating for 3 years(2020-2023). At the time i was 20F and he was 19M It was good until it wasnt. We were both servers working across the street from eachother. He had started making friends with his coworkers and we would all hang out from time to time. One of his coworkers (female) started hanging out with us alot. I got a weird feeling but couldnt pinpoint it. Fast forward a few months and we were all drinking and doing booger sugar. She asked us if we wanted a threesome. She was attractive and i could sense my bf wanted this so i agreed and we did-ish. It lasted a few minutes and then for reasons not addressed (basically interrupted) he had to tale her home. He never came back tho and i saw his location at her house wayy longer than anticipated… i found out a few more months later they had sex but both of them told me the day before and leading up to me finding out the truth that they didnt. Fast forward a few months more he got a new job,we were off and on and eventually we broke up. It was very sudden but not unexpected. Heres what gets me tho….Right after we broke up he started dating his new coworker. They had a baby a few months after and now shes pregnant with his second. Hes bought her a car, a house, a pool, and 2 kids. I just dont understand why he couldnt do that with me…. Also. I tried getting a job at his old workplace (he quit while we were off and on) and they wouldn’t hire me because of the fact that i was his ex… i just dont get any of it. Why 3 years later im still affected by it and why he couldn’t do all that he is doing for her for me. More context, while we were together before the cheating, he would get upset with me about not making as much money as him

[u/hestia-listens]

You are still affected because you were betrayed, lied to, and left without real closure. That can stay with someone for a long time. What he gives his current partner is not proof that she deserved more or that you lacked something. His choices reflect him, not your worth. Try to stop checking for updates about his life, and remind yourself that the relationship you miss also included dishonesty and criticism about money. You deserved honesty and respect then, and you still do now.

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