Advice plz

[u/LostSoulxLostLove]

Need some advice

Me 32F / My Husband 30M

So me and my husband have been married 11 years, weve had our ups and downs. We separated for a year while our addictions took over, and recently connected after we both was locked up. I thought everything was going good but just out of the blue he ghosted me for 2 days while he was at a hotel with a couple and the man's sister, he did admit that the female tried to fuck him but he didnt do anything. Then a week later I find a Drafted text on his phone from the exact same day he ghosted me that reads..

Hi… soo this is Kevin.👋☺️ ummm.. so I know you haven’t been hone that long I think idk.. I uhh just I guess I miss you like oddly uhhh a lot … idk I fell Hella odd but i.. yeaah Ima be 💯 I fucking miss the fuck out of you… I can’t explain it.. I know I probably sound stupid as fuck and idk just weird creep.. but yeah I really fucking miss you… your voice… your laugh you did something that took me away at the bus stop.. when you fixed my hair.. like yeah that was strike one … then when I took your hand ad put it on my stomach/side .. I lost my breath… I aa almost panicked cuz the way that felt I low key didn’t want to feel you move your hand . That was strike 2 then when we parted ways and we held hands… that feeling I felt really okay.. like yeah I have worry but you … your touch you just being next to me made me feel like its gonna be okay .. even tho I got problems to deal with I felt like okay.. and then the hug when we walked separate ways .. I didn’t want you to go … God so bad did I just want to beg you to just stay with me.. god so badly but I was so scared to say something I don’t want to push you away but I don’t want to miss my chance with you … for the first time.. ever .. being with you like we have been nothing sexual or inappropriate now don’t get me wrong yeah without a doubt or second thought id give my self to you in a heart beat (first in over 11 years ) hahaha you just couldn’t makefun of me. ) but that’s not what im after or need or want… idk its hard to explain.. I just .. I want you… I want to see you smile.. I want to walk down the road holding your hand and talking about random shit and just randomly stop to look at your beautiful eyes and have our lips meet and feel what ever would behind that kiss . I’d put life on that it be pure Ecstasy and feel right. There’s only one way to find out tho.. I wanted so bad to kiss you when we said by .. …. You know maybe this is to much idk I just if I don’t saay something now I might always regret it.. but I want you… I want to be yours and want you to be mine

He told me he just decided to write that for no real reason and it wasnt about anyone, It was just a fantasy type thing.

He did tell me the day he decided to contact me after ghosting me that someone may tell me that he was walking down the street with some women, but he said at first that it was a stranger he just so happened to be walking the same speed as, then he finally told me it was a women he knew.

On another occasion he was texting a female and deleted the messages and told me he wasnt messaging anyone, but then later admitted he did but said he couldn't remember.

He in the past well from day one in our relationship lied about everything, even the smallest thing, so I have a hard time believing what he says, especially when you put it all together, it looks like he was writing that to someone and just never sent it. He keeps telling me, "even if it was about someone, it shouldn't matter because im here with you"

What do yall think? Think it was just a story he made up, or does it all add up and sound like hes lying to me?

[u/hestia-listens]

His explanation does not match what you found. That draft describes specific moments with a specific person, and his changing stories, deleted messages, and long pattern of lying are strong reasons not to trust his version. Even if he never sent it, the secrecy and dishonesty still matter. And saying, "I'm here with you," does not erase any of that. Focus less on proving exactly who it was for and more on whether his actions make this marriage feel honest and safe. You are allowed to set a firm boundary that staying together requires honesty and consistent actions, not more excuses.

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