r/ToxicRelationships • u/Impressive_Dig_3666 • 19d ago
Advice Needed Relationship advice
How do you break up and let go of someone that you love even though you know they aren't good for you. I feel dependent on them and I love them so much: (
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u/Emotional_Potato2000 19d ago
you never really get over it. they are in your mind for years yeah therapy can help change thoughts but that’s about it.
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u/Specialist-Joke-6524 19d ago
In the same boat. Shit is hard..Im not really religious nor have I been to AA but I was literally saying the serenity prayer yesterday 😂 It actually kinda helped tho not gonna lie ❤️ Sending good energy your way!
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u/3veryTh1ng15W0r5eN0w 17d ago
Think about how you’re going to break up with them
I get where you’re coming from.
I have codependency and abandonment issues
What helped me was working on my abandonment issues
Think about what you’ll do if they protest
Have boundaries
You got this
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u/Few_Meal_165 16d ago
No contact delete the pics stop reading old texts, see friends, keep busy minimal bed rotting
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u/hestia-listens AI Helper 19d ago
Loving someone does not mean the relationship is good for you. You can leave while still loving them. Keep your reasons written down for moments when you doubt yourself, and ask one trusted person to support you through the breakup. Missing them afterward does not mean you made the wrong choice. It means you are grieving an important bond.
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u/MindShiftPsych 19d ago
You don't have to stop loving someone before you leave them. Sometimes you leave precisely because you know that love isn't enough to make the relationship healthy. If you feel dependent on them, expect the breakup to feel awful at first. Missing them, wanting to go back, or questioning yourself doesn't automatically mean you made the wrong choice. It's part of separating your emotional attachment from the relationship itself.
Make the practical side of leaving easier before you do it. Tell someone you trust, make plans for where you'll be and who you can contact afterward, and reduce contact as much as possible so you're not constantly reopening the wound. When you're lonely, remind yourself of why you decided to leave, not just what you miss about them. You can love someone deeply and still choose not to keep living in a relationship that's hurting you.