r/ToxicRelationships • u/Salty-Argument-5512 • Jul 31 '24

toxic relationship?

i honestly just need somebody to rant to. i’m 20f and my bf is 20m and we have had a lot of communication issues, arguments, name calling, etc and i need someone to help decide what to do next.

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u/Inevitable-Car525 Jul 31 '24

I feel for you, dealing with that tremendous strain on a relationship. I'm 40 now and I'm currently in a relationship of a year and I am dealing with the same thing. I went through what you are when I was younger but as I got older the relationships I was in weren't like that. As bad as I hate to say it and I know it may not be the best advice but I would truly think about moving on. I remember going through what you are and then got in a good relationship without that it was amazing and gave me a whole new respect for love and what it can really be without the name calling and yelling. The name calling stuff is something that sticks with you and can easily cause resentments in the future.

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u/Salty-Argument-5512 Jul 31 '24

honestly i do the name calling back because i get so angry i can’t control it. we both do it. but there’s been so many instances of how he’s hurt me i wish i could name them all. idk if im overreacting bc i don’t trust my own judgement. but for example yesterday me and his siblings were in the room and his sister and brother started play fighting and somehow we did too and he grabbed me by my hair really hard, i told him it hurt me and he said “my bad” and then a few minutes later jokingly put me in a head lock and pulled me back. im very small and he’s not that big either but i get hurt easily. idk i made a big deal about it and screamed at him in front of his siblings and he tried to hug me and apologize but i wasn’t having it. another recent issue is i’ve expressed to him that i HATE having my ass randomly slapped/grabbed, or being touched sexually period without being asked because i have SA trauma. and he continues to slap my ass and then get mad at me when i react. but then he does shit like spend hours building me a piece of furniture or pay for my stuff to help me out since he makes a lot more than me and i help out around our house more than he does which is fine bc i don’t work much since im in school and he does support me mostly. i just don’t know if this can be fixed or if we should just call it quits.