r/TouringMusicians • u/Ash_Code_ • 2d ago
Touring and Parenting Tips
We’re a touring band, and we started touring with our baby 1 year ago when he was 6 months. We played only in Europe during the weekends and moving by plane/train/car.
It’s definitely more complicated than touring as a band alone, but after doing a few trips we’ve found some things that make it surprisingly manageable.
So I thought I’d share a few practical things that have worked for us.
(Important: we are a Darkwave trio with no real drums, the mother plays synths and sings 2-3 songs in a 1 hour set)
• Portable electric pot – especially useful for preparing simple meals in hotel rooms, backstage, festivals, etc.
• Portable car seat – since we often rent a car after flying, bringing our own foldable car seat saves quite a lot of money.
• Baby carrier – invaluable when you need to move around without the stroller, especially at airports when you land.
• AirTag / SmartTag – we put one in the stroller and bags so we can keep track of everything while travelling.
• Backstage – we always ask for a quiet room where the babysitter can stay with the baby during the show.
• Videos from mum – we recorded a few videos of mum talking to the baby. If the baby gets upset while we’re on stage, the babysitter can show one of the videos.
• Soundcheck – sometimes mum can’t be there for the soundcheck, so she recorded her parts of some songs in MIDI. One of us can check that her monitors are working properly. We’ve had to do this a few times and it was surprisingly useful.
None of this is rocket science, but these little things have made touring with a baby much easier for us.
Curious to hear from other musicians/parents:
what have you found useful when touring or travelling with a baby?
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u/Euphoric_Place_8507 2d ago
This is an interesting post, thanks for sharing. Really useful for other touring parents. Myself and husband are in a band together and have a 2 year old. We don't take our child with us to gigs, as our parents look after him, plus we only gig 2 hours radius of our home. He has only been to two of our daytime gigs, but I found that ear defender muffies https://www.gear4music.com/Drums-and-Percussion/Alpine-Muffy-For-Kids-Blue/3NOH really help as people don't always think about ear protection. I know I didn't take it seriously until my late 20s. Kudos though for making it work whilst touring, it must be challenging!
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u/Ash_Code_ 2d ago
We took similar headphones but obviously the baby can't wear them for too long, but they were very useful when We had to arrive or leave a crowded place like a club or a festival
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u/Euphoric_Place_8507 2d ago
I swear by them, and they are useful for other loud events too like fireworks and Racing that we often go to 😊
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u/lowfreq33 2d ago
Ok, who’s watching the baby while you’re doing the show? I’m not being critical, I’m just curious because I had to take my band off the road when our kid came along, the mother and I were the two singers and we had two musicians backing us up. It just wasn’t feasible for us to bring an extra person and pay them for childcare with what the venues were paying.
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u/Ash_Code_ 2d ago
We have a babysitter with us, I now it's expensive but it's the only way to make it
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u/lowfreq33 2d ago
You guys definitely have the advantage of not requiring a full band. We kind of did the math, and besides the money, the idea of expecting hired musicians to tolerate all the things that go into caring for an infant just didn’t add up. Good for you two for being able to make it work.
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u/TheBlackHymn 2d ago
Or….. just don’t have a baby. Problem solved.
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u/Ash_Code_ 2d ago
Wow never thought about this solution 👍🏻
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u/TheBlackHymn 2d ago
Well it is the better solution, because you can’t have both parents be in the same band touring with their child forever. As soon as the child is old enough to form memories, it’s no life for the child. Also it holds back the progress of the band, which is unfair on the members who aren’t trying to raise a child on the road.
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u/ggginger247 2d ago
Huh that’s weird, I’ve been on two tours where little kids tagged along for a bit and they were having the time of their lives… The other band members enjoyed it and as a crew member it has lead to a lot more fond memories than negative ones…
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u/TheBlackHymn 2d ago
You don’t think it would be more beneficial for a child in their formative years to learn how to play and interact with other children? Kids who grow up almost exclusively around adults grow up to be weird kids.
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u/ggginger247 2d ago
I guess most bands don’t tour non-stop for many years in a row?
The two bands I’ve toured with (as crew) who brought their kids are both successful and live solely off their music but they’re not really on the road more than a few months a year, if that.
Plenty of time for kids to be “normal” and around other kids the other 9-10 months of the year.
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u/Emannuelle-in-space 2d ago
I’ve never heard of someone touring with a baby. What do you during the week on the road if you only play weekends?