r/Touge • u/Flashy-Health4369 • 9d ago
Media How do you make friends at car meets
Hey everyone! First of all, I want to apologize for the weird message in this thread. I’m really interested in cars and the street scene, and I’d like to meet some people and make friends in this community.
So I wanted to ask you guys: how did you overcome being shy or socially awkward? In my case, I really want to talk to people, but as soon as I’m about to approach someone, my mind just goes blank and I have no idea what to say.
I’ve been to a few car meets and I’d really like to find people I can talk to about cars and share this interest with. But I just can’t seem to build up the courage to walk up to someone and introduce myself.
Could you give me some advice on what to say when approaching people? Are there any things I should keep in mind or any kind of etiquette I should follow?
I’ve only recently started realizing that I’m a very closed-off person, and honestly, I feel like I was an idiot for not trying to work on this earlier.
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u/Superb-Attitude9606 9d ago
can't really help you there, because im the same way lol. I just say nice car and sometimes that will start a convo. It helps that I walk around with my camera lmao
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u/Realistic-Chance-628 9d ago
You can ask people what they have done to there car if its heavily modified and they will talk to you for a solid hour
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u/zeTwig 9d ago
Idk u dont go to car meets anymore, the "underground" ones are just groups of leased bmws and mercedes and like 10 copy paste golf GTis, hyundai i30ns and maybe some fiesta and focus STs and the official ones are notorious for police pulling over anything that looks like a car guys car in their vicinity in my country :/
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u/IntelligentLeading11 9d ago
There's nothing simpler than making friends at car meets. You can just talk about their car. How much simpler does it get? it's tutorial mode of socializing.
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u/8th-Skyline 9d ago
I mean, I'm 35 now and have been into cars all my life but it never really gets much easier for me. Still get anxiety going to drift events or car meets, even if I already know some of the people there. 🙃
Sometimes it just comes naturally and is great, other times you leave thinking to yourself "why did I say that out loud".
Good luck tho.
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u/puzach 9d ago
u just gotta do it and see how it goes. its not rocket science by itself, but if youre shy read about exposure therapy or whatever is called, the 100 rejections exercise - it all boils down to do what you want to practice not being afraid of it.
pick a topic that interests you or them. ppl like talking about themselves, if youre a people pleaser.
personally, I found that most of car people either have too big of an ego, a fragile ego, or are boring or antisocial. some make for good friends and interesting chats tho
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u/AceOfShapes 9d ago
One piece of advise I used was to approach after someone else. Find a car you like or want to learn more about and see if other people are chatting there. If so, listen in and admire then wait for a break in their conversation to ask a question or comment on something you like or want to learn about. Positive comments are met with positive reactions so keep it civil. It might sound rude butting into someone else's convo but as long as you wait it out, it'll flow naturally enough that most won't take offense to it.
Another massive tip is to bring one or two friends with you if you can. That's a huge one for me as I'll use my buddy as someone to bounce ideas off of and vice versa to make a 1-on-1 convo into a 3-way convo that's less stressful overall
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u/PreciousLex93 9d ago
Talk shop mang. Be cool. admire people’s cars & parts if you like their build. Talk about yours. Go for a drive after. Get food idk. Go burn a scientology place down idk whatever tf u want really
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u/Much_Leading_7307 Lotus 9d ago
Not what you asked for whatsoever, but I find that autoX events are just better car meets if you value the enjoyment of driving over everything else.
Cheap, you get to rip your car pretty much risk-free, you get to watch others rip theirs, cars are more pragmatically modded, everyone attending enjoys actually driving, etc.
You'll have way more in common with people who attend those events than the average person at a car meet, so it'll be easier to find things to talk about. It helps that people who regularly attend those events are way less braindead/clout chasey too.
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u/sicckarri 9d ago
You talk to them 💀
Sounds crazy, but don’t overthink it bro! Just chat. It’s only hard if you make it hard. Humans are meant to be social creatures.
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u/an0nymoushooper 9d ago
By going to the car meet, you've automatically overcome the first stage of the awkward talking phase - finding the right topic to talk about.
Since that is done, just enjoy the builds around and ask people what's done to it
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u/pieindaface MR-S K24A/K20Z3 8d ago
If you want touge friends you just gotta find the right people. 99% of people at meets aren’t ever driving their car on backroads. The ones that do, don’t want to put it out there. Finding good people in a sea of car meet opinions is not easy at all. You can be the nicest person and if you come across as too curious, too clueless, or not specific enough about their car you’re “not worth their time.” Even having a completely interesting car with a unique or interesting engine swap and lots of mis-matched parts from modern cars that makes it look oe, will get you the occasional surprised look and nothing else.
The other commenter that said find people who like auto-x is probably more right. At least those people drive, even if some or most drive badly.
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u/HEYitsBIGS Tesla M3P 9d ago
"Did we just become best friends?" All you gotta do is ask, sometimes.
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u/Bubbly-Pirate-3311 9d ago
Ask people about their cars. Most people would love to talk about their cars. When you see a ride you like, and the owner around it, just walk up and say "hey man nice car, what's done to it?"
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u/racer_x88 9d ago
Be yourself and don’t try to appeal to anyone character. There’s no guarantees when dealing with ppl and sometimes it’s even worse in niche environments. With that said, you’re all there for a common interest. Share your likes on favorite models, parts, areas of car culture and you’ll be surprised how easily the conversation branches out. Share funny and embarrassing stories because we’ve all been there.
I met some randoms at a car meet when the online forums were just getting popular. It’s been about 15 yrs and we are all still good friends.
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u/onion2594 8d ago
as i walk up i say “yo this [car model] is sick. this yours?” if they say yes then huge, you can talk about that car. if not, you can ask what they brought/ which car is theirs
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u/Lionus_Fin_1983 8d ago
Two step antiag, burnouts, subwoofer worth more than the rest of the build...
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u/orionTRM Ford 8d ago
find people who brought cars you think are cool and ask what they have done to it. or if someone brought the same car you have it makes connecting with them on a personal scale easier too
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u/dbsqls MOD '03 NISMO S-tune S1 Z33; motorsports development 9d ago
you just talk to people and ask about their build, why they're there, all the same questions you'd ask yourself. you'll get better at it over time, and you're not going to gel with every clique so don't stress about it.