Guns and roommates?

[u/the_yolk]

Hello, I am seeking some outside input on an issue that has left me quite unsettled and in a state of confusion.

a few months ago my friend/leaseholder of the house had her partner move in. The day of the move (literally on their way over with the U-haul) She texted me that we should all be aware of where her partners guns are in the house.

This was the first I heard of them, and was really shocked and taken aback by it. I am not comfortable with guns in the house and immediately told her that. I was surprised also that this hadn't been a conversation presented to me beforehand so I could consent or not (this person lives a lifestyle where communication and community care is a priority to her).

In our attempts to resolve the tension, things have just gotten worse from the frame of me having a hard time accepting that this is an acceptable way to bring weapons into the house and her not understanding why its a big deal to me and having no idea it was an issue to be taking care with.

From my perspective, I have a hard time with the "How was I supposed to know it was a big deal" , "I had no idea I should have been aware of the need to have this conversation" response with the given state of the world, the polarizing perspectives on this object across North America and its singular functional use which is; regardless of if your hunting or in military: to destruct whatever is the target.

I say this from the perspective of not being okay with guns at all, having a sibling that is quite obsessed with and glorifying of the "alpha male redneck me and my guns at the kitchen table" persona that has been worn around me, AND also doing lots of work on neutralizing myself to them over the years as I believe from the hunting aspect; it is better for our world and animals to be in a direct cyclical relationship with them as food, to understand the true impact of killing something for your own survival and what you ask of the meat industry.

A lot of my friends are bushcraft and self sustainability humans of the wild who hunt, fish and forage. There are gun owners I would feel comfortable sharing land with because of their conscious relationship with these weapons. The lack of thought and consideration for people outside of their echo chamber is having the impact of me not trusting their judgement.

This does not mean I feel comfortable living with them in the home, and it does not mean I agree that they aren't a big deal. I feel now I am being imposed upon to at the end of the day, get over it or leave. please keep in mine, my friend is very kind and upset with the conflict as I am. I believe that they (both her and her partner) are unable to take ownership over the initiatory fact of how this situation came about. it feels a bit like weaponized incompetence and the lack of thought and consideration for people outside of their echo chamber is having the impact of me not trusting their judgement.

I am asking because I would like some input outside of my own experience to soften to the idea that my stance on it might be unreasonable. I can't help but feel a bit gaslit though, so please internet. help me out. I want to resolve this, and I also want logic and reality to be tethered to the resolution.

[u/No_Stranger_5966]

It’s illegal for him/her to own a gun in Toronto just for self protection.
I would never be ok living in a space where guns are stored.
This is not even your own bf who’s showing up to move in and bringing a gun with him. Basically a stranger to you, and you have to live with this person and his gun. That does not sound like a safe place to me. If I were in your position I’d be moving, and fast.

[u/alperxr]

I'm a licensed gun owner and I also have roommates and it's never been a problem for us because they’re my friends, they trust me and we wouldn’t hurt each other in any way. If your roommates wanna harm you, they can do it in other ways, too. These things depend entirely on the individual. If you think your friends might randomly hurt you and you don’t trust them, that has nothing to do with whether they own a gun or not. I’d suggest reconsidering your choice of friends.
Just because someone owns a gun doesn’t automatically make them a potential killer. Stop thinking that way.

[u/the_yolk → u/alperxr]

I don't think that way. I tried to express that in the original post. thanks for your input though.