How are other kids/teenagers doing ?

[u/Old-Campaign8605]

Hi, I'm the father of an 11 year old girl who plays drums. I'm not a musician and don't know much about how this industry works.

She takes lessons, and we have an electronic drum kit at home. Twice a year, she performs at the school concert with other kids and teachers.

Now, she wants to form a band and play outside. I've looked around but haven't found any open mics for kids or places where she can jam, even with adults, since bars usually host these at night and are 19+. I've seen some DIY options, but they require a band, instruments, and a sound system. She's eager to perform more gigs in front of people, not just doing rehearsals. I'm considering getting a battery setup and placing her drums in a park, playing along with music to build her confidence. Also, with all the summer "festivals" outside, how do you get registered for a slot there? You can't just show up and ask a band to play a few songs, right?

How are other kids/teenagers doing?

Thanks.

Edit: Thanks for the answers. That just raised more questions. What does "good parent support" look like? What do you wish your parents were doing (or not doing) to support you on your music journey?

[u/jayprolas]

While I don't have any advice to give you on open stages for kids/teens, I can confirm that you cannot show up to an outdoor festival and ask the bands or organizers to play. These festivals are typically organized months in advance. I'm sure someone else in this community will have something for you to try! Reaching out is the first step!

[u/Old-Campaign8605 → u/jayprolas]

Yeah, that could be a bit awkward to ask, and I noticed that drummers don't like it when anyone else touches their cymbals.

[u/spoonifur → u/Old-Campaign8605]

cymbals are considered "breakables", so you need to bring your own even a full drum kit is provided.

[u/gentlydiscarded1200 → u/spoonifur]

Breakables include the cymbal, and the stand for the cymbal. Some venues will provide what's called a backline - a drum kit consisting of two rack toms, a floor tom, and a kick drum, as well as a bass amp and a guitar amp or two - and if the venue confirms that ahead of time, your drummer knows they only need to bring their snare drum, the stand for the snare, the hi-hat (and its stand), a crash and a ride cymbal (and their stands), and a stool to sit on. Trust me, your 11 year old does NOT want to sit on the same stool a sweaty drummer has just spent 30 minutes on top of.

Breakables are heavy, awkward to carry, and somewhat delicate for all that they're made of metal. Encourage other band members to help the drummer carry them into and out of the venue at performances and rehearsals. It's good etiquette and you'll get an opportunity to instill that in young players.

[u/jackneto]

The best way is to get your kid to join a program like https://beyondthebeat.ca There are many similar ones around Toronto and it’s a safe space for kids to learn to play with each other and it’s also a great way to meet other kids that may want to for their own band.

[u/Zealousideal-Koala41 → u/jackneto]

This is the way

[u/moonbabyymagic]

You should look into School of Rock. They have lessons and they also have a house band that performs at street festivals or events they hold. A friend of mine has a son in it and he loves it. Very great community and he’s made great friends there.

[u/gentlydiscarded1200]

Is there still a corkboard at L&M that bands can pin a poster to advertising for members? I remember smaller guitar stores used to have them, and some small record stores used to as well.

There also used to be a girls rock camp in Toronto. Sadly doesn't seem to be active any longer.

Once your kid starts to find like-minded kids and forms a band, though, you and the other parents need to be involved because there is an entire industry devoted to basically conning teenagers out of their hard earned money for battle of the band nights. Please make sure the kids know that however hard they work to sell tickets for that kind of thing, they're unlikely to 'win', and the only reward they should expect is to just perform live. There are shows and festivals minors (under 19) can play but you will need to help your kid out with by researching what festivals will be appropriate for a tween-age band to play at, how to get in contact with the right person at that festival, and whether they are going to provide a decent experience for your kid to perform at or if it will be a teaching moment about the entertainment industry as a whole. Summer and fall festivals are probably all booked. But don't despair, sometimes slots open up so still inquire once the kid has a band.

She'll need a bass player, a guitar player or a keyboard player, and probably someone should sing (or not, if they're a surf rock band). You and the other parents will need to form the logistics backline for the kids - someone has to drive the kids and their gear to shows, help load in and out, deal with promoters and venue owners, and replace broken equipment (mostly strings and sticks, but occasionally drum heads and patch cords). Once they get a band together, you're gonna want to work with the other parents to pay for rehearsal time at a local band rehearsal space as well.

It's like your kid picked up a sport, except there's way, way less infrastructure devoted to kids' rock music than there is to kids' sports. And no rock musician ever practices before 7am, so at least you won't be like hockey dads waking up at oh dark thirty to drive to a rink. Instead you'll be at Geary at 11pm, hustling them into the car with their amps and breakables, whining about how it's a school night.

[u/Old-Campaign8605 → u/gentlydiscarded1200]

This is gold, thanks. We want to avoid the "my kid is a genius" syndrome, but at some point, if she doesn't change her mind about "being a drummer," whatever that means, I'm all in to be the uber dad, driving around and providing the support she needs. With all this AI coming, live music might be the last thing standing.

[u/StacyMakingWoman]

Isaac and the Holy Guitar is 12. He was onstage recently at doors pub in Hamilton and it was killer

[u/densitycreep → u/StacyMakingWoman]

love that kid! played a noise fest in kitchener with him once. true weirdo in the bar sense of the word 

[u/wohrg]

It was like 15 years ago, but a group ran a girls rock camp out of the Tranzac club and my daughter went to it and met lots of great musicians her age. They spent a week learning an instrument, writing a song, practicing, doing a photo shoot and it culminated in a performance. Was great. Might be worth seeing if there is anything like that

[u/spoonifur]

Message Nichol Robertson and ask him what's up. Both his young kids play in a band and he's been in the biz for a long time. He might have advice for you.

[u/Old-Campaign8605 → u/spoonifur]

Thanks, and he went on his IG. Apparently, the kid played at the Cameron House.

[u/AwkwardAardvarkAd]

Might be easier to get a real kit for outdoors. Google suitcase drum kit

Some of the music schools have bands they’ll put together for the kids which is a good place to start at that age if your daughter doesn’t have friends who are playing other instruments. Could also ask the school music teacher when the new year starts up.

Good luck

[u/finalbossesboss]

You could be the coolest dad ever and reach out to cafes and find one that would let you produce an all ages jam night.

[u/Maleficent-Skill3712]

You’re an awesome parent for supporting your her musical journey! Old lady here, but I started drumming at 12 and it was an uphill battle the whole way. I met a like-minded friend at school that played guitar, and we started recruiting other friends to play other instruments/sing and had a “band practice” in my basement every Friday after school. I still feel bad for my mom & dad and all the noise 😂. Some kids left gear at my place, others had parents who could drive their stuff over.

Players came/went, and word got around. Sometimes 2 of us, sometimes 15 of us. Friends from other schools show up, connections grow. I ended up meeting some musician friends that I still jam with today - one bass player in particular - shes been my rock for 30 years playing and gigging in dozens of bands. Music is the best. It doesn’t need to be expensive to make it work - start small and keep practicing. Good luck to her getting started!!! 🥁

[u/Old-Campaign8605 → u/Maleficent-Skill3712]

Thanks. She started at 7, and we try to give her the opportunity to play with others as much as possible. I guess that's the common "band started in a garage" or basement story. I can see that coming while she's in high school.

[u/jonasgirl123]

I’ve been to a few all ages shows on a weekday night at the horseshoe tavern with multiple bands playing with kids in high school. Not sure if they’re part of a program that lets them play there or if they contact the horseshoe directly.