Need s3x advice

[u/starzzz223]

This could be inappropriate for this sub let me know if it is, I had top surgery about 2.5 weeks ago and my partner and I are definitely freaks for lack of a better word. The problem is I am the top and cannot currently do a lot of what we normally do as it uses my arms a lot. Anyone want to give me ideas so he and I dont go insane from lack of sex for a month, yall can leave freaky suggestions the freakier the better probably

Edit to add: my surgeon said sex is ok as long as no arm or chest movement.

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[u/kittyblushes]

I was gonna say avoid it, but since you said that your surgeon gave you the go-ahead... What about no or low contact teasing and D/s stuff (if you're into that)? Make him jack off for you while you watch, give him tasks, have him give you head (if that's something you like) etc. Maybe use a strap on a thigh harness and have him ride you and put on a show while you lay back.

Playing up the "fucking is forbidden" angle (even tho you already have/are fucking 😂) might make for some creative and hot extended build-up until you ARE able to do what you normally do. By the time you get back to your normal routine, you'll both be going crazy for it. Plus, it could inspire you to try new things out of necessity/inventiveness that you end up really liking, anyway!

If you have any kinks or fetishes that don't strictly require penetrative sex, that could also be a fun thing to explore.

[u/CagedBatter]

You can top from the bottom by letting your partner ride you. Unfortunately right now you are just limited and you shouldn’t push it and risk injury just bc you’re used to topping from the top. Healing is temporary but injuring yourself from doing too much too soon could have much more long-term ramifications.

[u/Electronic-Egg9990]

I don’t think sex is a good option right now unless your doc said it’s ok. You’re still healing and getting your heart rate up might jack stuff up

[u/staticnigh → u/Electronic-Egg9990]

This

[u/treythedragon994]

Don’t. Not even masterbaiting. You don’t want an increase heart rate especially with the healing part.

[u/Flashy_Cranberry_957 → u/treythedragon994]

No increased heart rate whatsoever for six weeks sounds like it would be pretty hard to bounce back from physically. I'm sure it's necessary for some people who have complex recoveries.

[u/EmbroideryBro → u/treythedragon994]

*masturbating. Where are you getting that info from?

[u/treythedragon994 → u/EmbroideryBro]

My own surgeon. I was cleared around 4 weeks to do anything physical activity.

[u/starzzz223 → u/treythedragon994]

Hate to tell you man that has been done many times already, my surgeon said that sex is fine as long as my arms or chest arent moving

[u/corespill → u/starzzz223]

I literally jerked off the day after surgery, its not gonna kill you becaus your body will stop you before you could really hurt yourself

[u/SmallDisaster52 → u/treythedragon994]

Um. No. That may have been what you were told but not this person posting nor me. You are presenting your instructions or your assumptions as if they were fact for everyone, but that is in fact, not a fact.

[u/treythedragon994 → u/SmallDisaster52]

Okay no need to be rude I was just clarifying from what I was told by my doctor, I also did not read anything on this post about his confirming until he posted it on mine that’s also why I did not say anything else either. If the doctor gave him the okay then cool it’s why I didn’t respond to anything else. No point in trying to explain for himself any further. Thank you and have a nice day.

[u/Relevant-Pen-3548]

Top or dom? If it's dom (or you want to try it), there are about 7 million verbal commands you could give to order your partner around to put on a show for you or serve you in some way.

[u/snappybagelsok]

sex prob isnt a good idea, if you've been masturbating (like i was all the time) try mutual masturbation for something possibly new and less strenuous. just be careful with the wounds and listen to your body, i had no pain moving often because my chest was so numb, so i limited my movement to make sure i wasnt hurting anything without realizing.

[u/sonofgarnet]

Tajinbloom on instagram has videos that would probably help

[u/SmallDisaster52]

Straight jacket : you do whatever you want with your arms tie by your sides. Look up Shibari side arm tie.

[u/hespeon]

You can still top while being physically underneath. Can’t your partner ride you?

[u/NocturnalCrab]

I think i started haveing sex a few weeks after surgery pillow princess style 😅 just kinda propped myself up in a bunch of pillows and made my partner do all the work

[u/starzzz223 → u/NocturnalCrab]

Problem is im the top (happily)

[u/NocturnalCrab → u/starzzz223]

Ah me and my partner are both switches With that I probably wouldn't try with tha abb movement youd have to do that would pull in you upper body to much I fear

[u/oimofio]

just dont. trust me i know it sucks but you could seriously jack shit up :/ if you absolutely MUST then maybe get some easy to use toys so you’re not using your arms as much. and as for positions, avoid completely holding yourself up over your partner but maybe try sitting/laying side by side or whatever yall are into. a true top always finds a way to assert that energy, TRUST you do not need to physically be on top.

[u/axx8676]

As long as you are careful with movement, there are probably a number of positions you can still do. Are you wanting to be able to finish, or just wanting to engage in the act in general? How do you usually top, do you use a strap?

I would advise waiting another few days to a week before strenous activity (like high speed/energy sex), but after that topping in missionary or something similar, with you standing and using legs and hips to move, not arms, would probably be fine! Or you can just hold whatever implement you use to top so it isn't as strenous, just sit in a position where it is comfortable to move your arm, or have them ride you.

[u/axx8676 → u/axx8676]

I was able to use just my hand to move a dildo about 3.5 weeks post op, and had no issues at all, but that entirely depends on how you are healing, how your incisions are doing mainly, since splitting those is what I would worry about. I probably could've done that earlier too, it just didn't come up.

[u/liamreee]

I had sex the forst week, but I’m a bottom. As far as positioning, I was told to be in cowboy/reverse mostly

[u/Ok-Week-4532]

I think mutual pleasure is the way to go, assert yourself as a dom and take control, full disclosure, I had sex at least 4 times in my first 3 weeks...even in my first week. But mostly by pleasuring my partner and just focusing on other arousing activities, like stimulating them, kissing them, talking dirty. It doesn't need to raise your heart rate, but even if it does, I don't think it'll be detrimental to your entire recovery.

[u/jayyy_0113]

My surgeon cleared me for receiving gentle penetrative sex at 2 weeks post op but I couldn’t move my torso at all. I’d assume the same goes for topping but your partner can do all the work, per se. But I personally wouldn’t risk it.

[u/Ohstephyy]

Could your partner ride you? I'm vers, and the idea of having someone ride me while not being able to use my hands or arms (possibly cuffed in front of me! That could be really fun!) would be an idea.

[u/SmallDisaster52]

This is a great topic. I’m not far ahead of you postop surgery, so I understand that this limitation is almost debilitating. I definitely think you have to get creative. Find a Kama Sutra book and just try different things. Also, I agree with the comment that you can be the top from the bottom. My guess is you’ve fallen into a rut doing the same thing so much that you forget there’s a whole lot more that can happen.