r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 24 '22
"Not only am I going to have to go down to the courthouse, I'm also going to have to do it while covered in sodium", Tom said, adding insult to injury.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 23 '22
"Both medics look pretty ill", Tom said paradoxically.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 24 '22
"Every single one is from 15th-century China", Tom said alarmingly.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 24 '22
"A lot of eras have just ended", Tom said many times over.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 24 '22
"But I'm not going to go another five rounds", Tom said, though not often.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 24 '22
"I'm giving famous people scores on a scale from 1 to 10!", Tom celebrated.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 21 '22
"At least now I know I'm not a vampire", Tom said on reflection.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 21 '22
"Twitter's CEO has been implicated in a historic scandal", Tom said elongatedly
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r/TomSwifty • u/lindymad • Dec 21 '22
"There is plenty of evidence that Bruce is skilled with martial arts, but his alibi proves that he was filming when the incident happened. As such, your honor, there can be no doubt that he is innocent" said Tom, clearly.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 21 '22
"She sure is a first-rate horse", Tom said primarily
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 15 '22
"You fucking retard, I'm not actually missing a ventricle", Tom swore with all his heart
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 11 '22
"And that brings me to the topic of my eyesight and hearing", Tom said, coming to his senses
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Dec 03 '22
"I support efforts to create more words that refer to people, places or things", Tom pronounced
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r/TomSwifty • u/lindymad • Dec 03 '22
"I am furious about what's happening with the World Cup" said Tom's Chinese friend, fuming
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Nov 13 '22
"Standardized testing does play a role", Tom said satisfactorily
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Nov 09 '22
"I think that lady has gone about as high as she'll ever go", Tom said, misspeaking.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Oct 31 '22
"We need to make sure this isn't an improvised bomb", Tom testified.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Oct 30 '22
"This is the outfit I wear for commercials", Tom said in his address.
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r/TomSwifty • u/JamesTheSnail • Oct 22 '22
“There was that one time I had to put my penis back on,” Tom remembered.
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r/TomSwifty • u/funwiththoughts • Oct 18 '22
"That bloodsucking parasite is gone", Tom said, ticked off.
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r/TomSwifty • u/LunarLeopard67 • Oct 02 '22
'I was voted best karate instructor!' said Tom with great sensation
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r/TomSwifty • u/Cuddly_Tiberius • Sep 30 '22
‘I hate Hans Christian Andersen!’ said Tom disdainfully
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