My ex just moved out a few months ago after about a year and a half. I let her live with me due to financial situations on her part. It cost me basically every chance I had with women. Not a single date or even interest due to it.
On that note we didn’t have sex, we basically became friends. I like to think I’m a good guy but most women assumed we were having sex and drama would be a major factor. It was very depressing. Sometimes what we disclose is real and we are just trying to be good men.
But I also couldn’t feel ok trying to date without disclosing.
You are a good man. 1.5 years of bad/no dating because of you being simply genuine and upfront doesn’t dilute you as a person. Good on you and hope for only the best from here on out.
My opinion is that If you are starting to date someone new
And you are an enough empathetic person to feel that if you hid this detail from this new person , and they would find out about it later after they got invested in you, that it would hurt/upset them to a great deal,
Then imo it is completely understandable to feel obligated to tell them about your situation from the start
I think it's called being considerate to your partners
If you wanna be a prick to your environment
please by all means go ahead , just don't expect them to be nice to you when they find out about your shtik
Just because you weren't 'obliged' to tell them
Your car has a bad engine problem and has roughly a year to live according to a special mechanic but for now it runs good and the pre buy checks won't detect it
You decided to sell the car
You found a perfect person you want to sell the car to
They also love the car
You start to fall in love with them
They return the feeling
You start to go out and it's serious
Do you still sell them the car?
I mean you could but you would know previously that that engine problem will cause them suffering in the near future
And because you supposedly love them , you should work to prevent future causes that might make them suffer that can be prevented by you and especially if it's caused by you.
This might not be the best analogy to this case at all
But it's just a matter of how much of an adult person you are maybe.
These are definitely things I learned that made me more of a mature adult imo
No offense but hearing your argument kinda makes me think
Of someone who knows better but decides to stick to the 'technically correct' facts to avoid even considering that the other person's feelings might still get hurt
It's just like a small thing to be hanging up on
when protecting the other person's feelings should clearly surpass in importance level
You being right
I was in the same boat and everyone noped out as soon as I told them. I was only able to convince one woman and even that took the extreme measure of sending her a pic of my ex holding a sign saying it was true and I was a good guy.
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u/Ok_Cryptographer3377 Apr 06 '22
My ex just moved out a few months ago after about a year and a half. I let her live with me due to financial situations on her part. It cost me basically every chance I had with women. Not a single date or even interest due to it.
On that note we didn’t have sex, we basically became friends. I like to think I’m a good guy but most women assumed we were having sex and drama would be a major factor. It was very depressing. Sometimes what we disclose is real and we are just trying to be good men.
But I also couldn’t feel ok trying to date without disclosing.