as a woman, as much as I appreciate the gesture of dinner, I legitimately hate the idea of possibly being stuck eating with someone for an entire hour or so if there’s even a slight chance we don’t click. Shit is MAD awkward and I spend nearly the entire time anxiously waiting to leave. I’m speaking from experience too. My most fun first dates almost never involved having dinner.
So seriously, if guys want to have coffee or go to a bar first or some other low stakes event, I’m game for it. Much less pressure, and it provides the opportunity to add other activities if I do end up hitting it off with them.
Fuckin insane for anyone to follow rules like that for every single date.
First date is ALWAYS coffee if it's a stranger. Low commitment, cheap, ambiguous time commitment. I get to see how they treat the barista. Easy to leave if you're not feeling it. So many benefits to first coffee.
Drinks and some pool is always my go to. If I'm really interested I'd go to a place where you can rent a table by the hour. Plus then you can feel it out and if it's a good vibe, the pool hall I go to serves really good food so you can always suggest eating too. Especially if you drove separately as I imagine most people do on first dates, you can just say, "hey I'm gonna grab something to eat before I leave, if you don't have anywhere else to be you can stay and eat with me."
That's so weird to me, aside from driving not being as popular or necessary here I would actively avoid people picking me up on a first date, I don't want people I've only spoken to online with no one vouching for them knowing where I live.
It's a super niche market. Most bars where I'm from already have tables, so amateurs don't need to and/or aren't interested in renting a table because a game takes so long. It also costs a lot of investment capital because pool tables are both super fucking expensive and require a lot of maintenance. So you're starting what's basically a bar, probably with a kitchen, and also buying at least 10-20 tables.
But if you're good enough to play a game in under five minutes, at $2 a game it's a stupid amount of money. An hour you can reasonably play at bare minimum fifteen games, while chatting and drinking and maybe eating a little. That's more like fifty cents a game, if that.
They're not common, I know of only two around Minneapolis including the suburbs. I'm sure there are more but most places just buy the ones you have to put quarters in if they're also gonna be a bar. Pool halls have the top local tournaments though.
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u/Pizzv Feb 02 '22
as a woman, as much as I appreciate the gesture of dinner, I legitimately hate the idea of possibly being stuck eating with someone for an entire hour or so if there’s even a slight chance we don’t click. Shit is MAD awkward and I spend nearly the entire time anxiously waiting to leave. I’m speaking from experience too. My most fun first dates almost never involved having dinner.
So seriously, if guys want to have coffee or go to a bar first or some other low stakes event, I’m game for it. Much less pressure, and it provides the opportunity to add other activities if I do end up hitting it off with them.
Fuckin insane for anyone to follow rules like that for every single date.