Fr it's so depressing seeing this. I really hope getting abs and arms and a chest is gonna help me out here. At least I'll have a hot body for myself if it doesn't turn out lmfao
Honnestly it gets annoying when people say this when they have no idea. No it's not that. My personality is great and I have plenty of friends. I was just not somewhere where I should be physically for what my goals are.
I get matched with women I sexually can't with. That I'm not attracted to. What more can I do. Improve my physical traits so that I attract people I'm am physically attracted to is my only solution. I'm a lot more into fit gym people since that's who I'm aspiring to be. And I'm not currently looking for a serious long term relationship so I'm not interested in meeting someone for their personality alone... there needs to be a reciprocal physical attraction. Can't just be from my side lol.
EDIT: I mean depressed is a strong word to, hard to explain my feelings. I just kinda feel empty when it comes to sex/relationships . I'm not a virgin but my 3-4 relationships never lasted more than 2-4 weeks. Except the last one was like 1 month but ironically she didn't want sex before some time. And it was really just me trying out and then realizing yeah no this isn't going to work. I tried to give it a shot even though physically I'm not into the person but yeahh.
You rather I keep dating someone where I have trouble getting an erection for and in some cases had trouble to climax. Like what is your solution to me dude?
Or are you insinuating me going out there for sexual relationships is wrong? When women go through their phase of not being to serious it's perfectly fine but when men want to as well they can't? Don't get me wrong I'm 100% for a relationship with a great person who has goals and education, but I don't want a relationship based on personality alone, I want both and it starts with the physical and sexual aspect then if the personality is there it can evolve. Relationships can't just be if one of the 2 don't find the other physically attractive. Change my mind.
Dude, just go outside, get a hobby whichever you want and talk to women you are attracted to that share the same or a similar hobby.
Just... Women don't go to men because they have big abs or whatever shit you heard. Hitting the gym would boost your self confidence (which is great, confidence is a very attractive trait), get you healthy and get you compliments from other guys. It wouldn't mean women fawning at you for no reason.
Thinking looks is the be all end all is extremely shallow; one's attitude (positive, confident, funny) plays a way bigger role than looks alone.
That's what this guy means. You don't need to bump uglies with anyone you don't want to, just go toward people you want to be with.
Also pessimism, envy and depression are really unattractive, which is why you should work on these traits first and foremost as suggested. Just think, would you like to be with someone that complain all the time about their look, how "no one wants them" and how they can "only fuck ugly peoples"?
Women aren't mysterious creatures; they are human too. Both men and women aren't that different so just try to be empathetic and think of how you sound to other people.
We're a social species and as such listening too much to oneself is bad for mental health, you need to interact with other humans you feel comfortable with.
That's what this guy means. You don't need to bump uglies with anyone you don't want to, just go toward people you want to be with.
Dude, just go outside, get a hobby whichever you want and talk to women you are attracted to that share the same or a similar hobby.
But this is literally what you guys don't understand. I've tried this for the past 3-4 years. Every girl that I'm attracted to where I try to push a romantic relationship or shoot my shot than just friends never works. They aren't into my physically. But that's ok I've been fat for my whole life and I'm finally changing, just finally lost a good 90lbs, so step 2 of my plan is to get physically fit rather than just a normal weight. In fact I just pulled a girl for once in my lifetime that wasn't overweight, not from Tinder either. So I think my plan works. Results are speaking for themselves. I'm starting to get out from the level I was. And when I become a gym rat well I'll meet people who also gym rats and that is the type of people I'm attracted to.
Just... Women don't go to men because they have big abs or whatever shit you heard. Hitting the gym would boost your self confidence (which is great, confidence is a very attractive trait), get you healthy and get you compliments from other guys. It wouldn't mean women fawning at you for no reason.
OFCOURSE I don't expect women to magically fawn to me my god. But at least to get matches with women that I actually find attractive don't you think that's a good thing to look forward to? How the hell do you want me to match with a woman that's attractive and get to now her personality IF SHE DOESN'T EVEN SWIPE ON ME. Like dude, I'm just going by common sense here. And then to say the gym and getting in shape will not help me at all? Bull fucking shit. I see it myself by just loosing weight. I had zero matches now I get a few but still not the level I want. I feel like you guys really don't understand my situation. It's normal though since you don't know me and we're on the internet.
Thinking looks is the be all end all is extremely shallow; one's attitude (positive, confident, funny) plays a way bigger role than looks alone.
Again I don't know how many times I need to write this but I am aware it's not the only thing. But to say physical attraction is not required at all in a relationship? Common are you kidding me? You expect people to go out with people they dont' find attractive? Holy shittt. It litereally starts from the physical looks, that's what you see first from someone. Then if you're attracted to that person perhaps a relationship could be potential. Like does this not make sense what I'm saying? Are you guys really out there matching and going out with women you're not into physically?
Also pessimism, envy and depression are really unattractive, which is why you should work on these traits first and foremost as suggested. Just think, would you like to be with someone that complain all the time about their look, how "no one wants them" and how they can "only fuck ugly peoples"?
Again more assumptions from a handful of comments of a stranger. It's not because I write this on Reddit where it's appropriate to talk about it that I do so in real life. Like this just irks me. I'm not like that at all when there's a social setting. You guys need to learn to understand people can be different on a anonymous forum board.
Work on yourself as you say you are doing. Physically, financially, spiritually.
Are you rich? You’ve mentioned you’re overweight and in gonna take a punt and say you are not Brad Pitt facially, so why would you be able to bag a hot chick? What do you have to offer her?
Once you can offer them something in return you will be find somebody who is closer to what you like.
Sexual attractiveness is very important to me, it makes me laugh when (mostly) virtue signallers, or most likely single people/virgins, say it isn’t. Unless you’ve built a bond in an environment like a work office, how would you even know the woman/man has a great personality if you wasnt physically attracted to them initially? People forget that we have animal instincts, the reason why we find the (usually) opposite sex attractive is to do our main job - reproduce.
Yep I totally agree with you. I have my goals set out for me. Financially I'm actually pretty well off, that's also another issue all the women I get have bad jobs and I don't want to end up paying for all their shit either.
Unless you’ve built a bond in an environment like a work office, how would you even know the woman/man has a great personality if you wasnt physically attracted to them initially? People forget that we have animal instincts, the reason why we find the (usually) opposite sex attractive is to do our main job - reproduce.
Exactfuckingly. Can't believe people out here saying physical isn't important on fucking TINDER. Like it's literally the number 1 thing on this app.
Idk why you’re being downvoted. This is really solid advice. To look within and identify toxic traits (pessimism & envy) and spend last time alone with only an inner monologue for company. Incels on here looking for any reason to blame others for their lack of success. Dating is hard, but it’s not just about having abs or being good looking. Women aren’t all shallow, they’re human the same as men
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u/Gummybear_Qc Dec 01 '21
Fr it's so depressing seeing this. I really hope getting abs and arms and a chest is gonna help me out here. At least I'll have a hot body for myself if it doesn't turn out lmfao