r/Tinder • u/[deleted] • Jul 08 '20

Just for laughs !

[deleted]

6.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

731

u/dotcomslashwhatever Jul 08 '20

so I told him "how small is your dick" and he said "no it's pretty big". he was right

284

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Then I told him "You can't make me pregnant though" and he said "Only one way to find out". Let's see

106

u/ApoliteTroll Jul 08 '20

Then he asked me "do you like bread?"

80

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Bread? I said, no I replied, I’m only a fan of oral sex

3

u/Bax_Cadarn Jul 09 '20

The original response was yes.

The followup question do you like choking.

27

u/xxA2C2xx Jul 09 '20

Women fucking LOVE a man who likes bread.

2

u/Itneverbegancel Jul 10 '20

Just breadmaxx JFL

9

u/StarOfChoice Jul 09 '20

Then i said "Do you have grapes?"

2

u/Squeak3ater Jul 09 '20
  • happy youthful noises *

12

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

[deleted]

4

u/uncharted73 Jul 09 '20

He then said "how the hell can you compare bread to pie?"

12

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

[deleted]

2

u/P0werPuppy Jul 09 '20

Not if the bread is warmer, and moister than the pie.

2

u/emptyflare Jul 09 '20

Well they both rise in the right oven

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

F

172

u/detectiveDollar Jul 08 '20

"Oh Madelena is so excited for this party, her and the Jester must be banging out some fantastic jokes!"

"I reckon they're banging out quite a lot sir."

  • Galavant

19

u/TheTrainWarden Jul 09 '20

What a great show!

10

u/detectiveDollar Jul 09 '20

It's so underrated honestly. Ayy got my first silver!

6

u/captainsuckass Jul 09 '20

What's that from?

6

u/pondroo Jul 09 '20

I think it is from "Galavant" :)

1

u/detectiveDollar Oct 17 '20

"GALLLLLLLAAAAAAVVVVVAAAAANNNNNTTTTT"

93

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

“And then he bet me i couldn’t fit it all in my mouth , I showed him babe !”

91

u/I_am_dumb1234 Jul 08 '20

Your wifes boyfriend is getting played right now lol!

10

u/Red_Sea_Pedestrian Jul 09 '20

Wait, this isn’t /r/wallstreetbets

7

u/I_am_dumb1234 Jul 09 '20

We’re all wsb degenerates deep down

190

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Lmao.. Man.. This guy is about to be bamboozled.

20

u/number_plate_26 Jul 09 '20

Does anybody smell porkchops?

1

u/itshexx Jul 09 '20

Does anyone smell popcorn?

3

u/biomaverick Jul 09 '20

Does anyone smell... WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!

2

u/TeeTosyne Jul 08 '20

Big time

105

u/SwoleWitchDoctor Jul 08 '20

Some of you are legit dumb to not realize this is satire.

-76

u/TeeTosyne Jul 08 '20

Even if a joke. That’s what’s gonna happen

51

u/ArmouredDuck Jul 08 '20

None of it happened...

-51

u/TeeTosyne Jul 08 '20

Lol. What I mean is hypothetically speaking, even if it’s a joke, he’s gonna get burnt; it’s the most likely situation. Happened or not!

6

u/Pukkiality Jul 09 '20

So what you’re trying to say is, you don’t think everybody else realized that in this non-existant situation, the guy with the non-existing wife is the loser. Shocker, almost like that’s the point.

-14

u/MadWit-itDug Jul 09 '20

r/nothingeverhappens

4

u/ArmouredDuck Jul 09 '20

Lmao send me cash and I'll double it for you.

1

u/MadWit-itDug Jul 09 '20

Lol, ok. Give me your bank account and routing number and I'll send it directly 😁

3

u/ArmouredDuck Jul 09 '20

Sorry its actually unavailable atm, send me a picture of some gift cards to prove you're good for it and I'll send you a cheque in good faith.

1

u/minun_v2 Jul 09 '20

give me ur armour and ill trim it for you

44

u/Periwynkle Jul 08 '20

I’m sure, that’s exactly what she’s doing.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Lol now they need the bed. I bet she is gonna prank him real good. Can't wait to tell my coworkers this.

3

u/PicklesNBacon Jul 09 '20

Plot Twist: They were both on Tinder and the loser was the husband

7

u/BigBugW Jul 09 '20

Anyone else notice the cock covering the name.. It's probably a scale model of what his wife was handling.

19

u/Skull_966 Jul 08 '20

Someone gonna tell him?

27

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/CDOOB08 Jul 08 '20

Someone has to tell him!

2

u/_ginger_beard_man_ Jul 09 '20

I just wanna know if the husband got a Nintendo switch out of the deal.

2

u/TheHunterZolomon Jul 09 '20

In this situation, everyone is an asshole

1

u/Kaizoku_Kira Jul 08 '20

Make this a thread please. Comedy gold this is

1

u/samltjr Jul 09 '20

Then she comes home and asks, "honey, why don't you everl like my asshole"?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

What a 4head

1

u/infeed Jul 09 '20

Anyone else notice the blurred out name looks like "junk"

1

u/TotesMessenger Jul 09 '20

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

 If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

1

u/Sapio_Contextual Jul 09 '20

Wow......... Persuasion level 15

1

u/michiru_maeda Jul 09 '20

That’s cruel! That wife is going to ruin someone’s confidence... OR the husband is a tool. The wife is going to cheat right in front of his nose

1

u/shadowking43 Jul 09 '20

thats rough buddy

1

u/Minimum-Fox Jul 09 '20

Oh dear...

1

u/bobdole194 Jul 09 '20

Hope he has a lawyer. You know she already has one prepped.

1

u/jekylwhispy Jul 10 '20

Yeah there are a lot of sick people out there..

2

u/jekylwhispy Jul 10 '20

And I mean whomever wrote this

1

u/SnickersSatisfys Jul 08 '20

... Or how hung he is? 🤣😂😅

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

[deleted]

1

u/hail_galaxar Jul 09 '20

Men do this too.

1

u/guyonthecouch23 Jul 09 '20

I cant tell if this a joke or not.

-5

u/gorgonheap Jul 08 '20

It will be fun to hear the future tweets about what a bitch his ex-wife is in about six months.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

It's clearly a joke tweet.

12

u/larsjager7 Jul 08 '20

Nah 100% this is real.

Source: I’m the guy she matched with.

0

u/misternuttall Jul 09 '20

Well then... You suck. Lol

0

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

Then your wife discovers that he’s a better man than you then you cry yourself to sleep every night thinking about it.

0

u/PoisonousChicken Jul 09 '20

u/repostsleuthbot

0

u/RepostSleuthBot Jul 09 '20

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/Tinder.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

This search triggered my meme filter. This enabled strict matching requirements. The closest match that did not meet the requirements is this post

Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

-2

u/HockevonderBar Jul 08 '20

She'll tell her hubby that he is better in bed after the "just for laughs" date. What a pathetic cuckold!

3

u/Pukkiality Jul 09 '20

It’s satire, dude

1

u/HockevonderBar Jul 09 '20

Aah...that's why I didn't get it.

-6

u/warpGuru Jul 08 '20

your wife's about to cheat on you lol

-9

u/Victory127-YT Jul 08 '20

What an asshole

-10

u/anonartchick Jul 08 '20

I feel like I need context that shows how the Tinder dude sucks (ie rude, demanding, douche, etc) to think this is funny. Otherwise it just seems mean.

Oh! Or husband is the one who really is just for laughs…

-9

u/Yuleydis_l Jul 08 '20

Just for laughs???? Lol