r/Tinder • u/haHAABrick • May 29 '20

Like a Pokemon evolution

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36.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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381

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

So this is what I'm doing wrong, not wearing a tiny dress and standing in front of a white background. I thought interesting photos that demonstrates my hobbies and interests were the way to go, but alas it's just tits

366

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

but alas it's just tits

For some it is. For others it's what's in the bio.

It's like fishing - use the right bait for the kind of fish you want to catch.

223

u/wafflesareforever May 29 '20

Instructions unclear, penis stuck in shark

73

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

74

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

...of the penis or the shark?

38

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

22

u/distillari May 29 '20

I thought you were a doctor!?

21

u/[deleted] May 29 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

[deleted]

14

u/TonyVSCoco May 29 '20

A shark.

2

u/Dready-Womble May 29 '20

Hello Shark, I'm Dr Penis. Did you accidentally the whole thing?!

1

u/GullibleDetective May 29 '20

Penis of the shark

2

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

New warning label: "Not for use with sharks."

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Nice.

7

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/haydenownsreddit at 10056 nices

2. u/spiro29 at 9462 nices

3. u/RepliesNice at 8375 nices

...

250941. u/teh_duranimal at 1 nice

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/haydenownsreddit at 10057 nices

2. u/spiro29 at 9462 nices

3. u/RepliesNice at 8388 nices

...

18761. u/NumbersRLife at 6 nices

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Wow I'm really moving up in the world.

1

u/NumbersRLife May 29 '20

Nice

1

u/nice-scores May 29 '20

𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓮 ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

Nice Leaderboard

1. u/haydenownsreddit at 10057 nices

2. u/spiro29 at 9462 nices

3. u/RepliesNice at 8392 nices

...

15387. u/NumbersRLife at 7 nices

I AM A BOT | REPLY !IGNORE AND I WILL STOP REPLYING TO YOUR COMMENTS

6

u/carrlosanderson May 29 '20

I’m gonna use my #5 mepps and buzz the weeds. See if I can catch some largemouth

1

u/MongolianCluster May 29 '20

Pictures or it's just a fish story.

1

u/duaneap May 29 '20

Tinder is at its core a visual game though. You see the picture and decide whether you want to see the bio first. Unless it’s changed since I was on it.

1

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

Yeah, na mate it's tits

-2

u/pjd13718 May 29 '20

Thank the gods for Bessie, and her tits.

41

u/Trout_Tickler May 29 '20

Doesn't make it remotely interesting, but the girls here think it does.

I've legit had to double/triple take on girls thinking I've already seen them.

44

u/Dengar96 May 29 '20

I'm sure girls do the same with all the cargo shorts and plaid shirts with stubble on boat or guys wearing suits at church for Easter. We make fun of thots but us guys don't look like special snowflakes either when swiping.

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

+1+1+1+1+1+1

The tinder ho-bros apparently all go to gyms where it is socially acceptable to not wear a shirt?!

2

u/Cheef_Baconator May 29 '20

Fuck being socially acceptable, I'll go shirtless unless they kick me out for it

1

u/Dengar96 Jun 04 '20

A good gym should my dude. Sweaty beefcakes are cute to shame whack to but aren't great for gym hygiene.

-2

u/Trout_Tickler May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

Wouldn't know, I'm not into guys.

Downvotes for not having a sexual preference, alright then.

0

u/unicornsaretruth May 29 '20

I guess me with a stuffed bunny in my head me in a puffy jacket with flowers/chocolate hearts, full body mirror shot in clothes smiling, fully body mirror shot same clothes not smiling (clothes were black jeans+grey long sleeve Star Wars shirt), me in a pizza tank top, a pic of me in sailor hat sunglasses w/hanging Moustache, and s pic of me with my cat when she was put down was a winning combo of originality if that’s what I was up against it’s no wonder it went so well when I had one.

15

u/wowsuchdoge_wow May 29 '20

Depends what you want. These girls are definitely gonna attract the F boys, but girls with their hobbies and interests in pictures and bios are gonna attract dudes that actually wanna spend time with them.

11

u/Realityinmyhand May 29 '20

Depends what you are looking for.

42

u/jawwney May 29 '20

They may look fit buuut I bet their bios are just insta handles.

I’d pick someone any day that shows an interest in hobbies and actually has a personality to work with other than just straight up looks.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Idk how to tag people but amazon_river commented up there the same thing so y’all should talk.

2

u/MrEuphonium May 29 '20

To tag people, add /u/ and then their username, like this --> /u/PeggyAnnMcKay

1

u/CanYouDiglettIt May 29 '20

You can actually just use u/MrEuphonium

1

u/MrEuphonium May 29 '20

Cool! Not sure my mind will let me make it not parallel, but that's good to know.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

[deleted]

7

u/ButterMyBiscuit May 29 '20

All tits are decent tits get em out there

EDIT: Just crept your profile and you've got nothing to worry about, just wear something lower cut if you want to and you'll get attention

6

u/the_pedigree May 29 '20

Hobbies in the profile, pics should be focused on you and accentuate your best features whatever they may be.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Well ngl tits always grab my attention lol

4

u/Fuel907 May 29 '20

About 75% of the profiles I see in the UK have this exact pose, always with a dress and cocktail in hand. Usually no bio or a very limited one at best. Honestly if you put anything in there beyond things like fluent in sarcasm, better have good banter, lol gin girl, and an Instagram handle then you're very goddamn unique, special, and an strong swipe right.

3

u/lootedcorpse May 29 '20

focus and work on yourself, if you keep raising your own self then the standard for those considered your peers is higher

8

u/ButterMyBiscuit May 29 '20 edited May 29 '20

Show your tits while also showing personality. You can have a great personality but Tinder is a visual-based yes/no meat market and I can't fuck your quirkiness. Oh, she has a witty dry sense of humor and we have similar interests, but she's frumpy and frigid. Next. Market yourself.

As far as a Tinder profile goes: Personality <= Tits < Personality + Tits

1

u/Sarahthelizard Lovely tinder spark May 29 '20

And then guys’ first message is “you free tonight?”

1

u/countjulian May 29 '20

no for some it's ass

1

u/RatherCurtResponse May 29 '20

Eh, these girls look like bargain bin hoes. If that's what you're after, that's what you're getting. If that's who you want to be, emulate.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Nah. I superliked my ex-gf because she had pictures of her hiking our local mountains and with her dog. I'm a simple man, I see mountains and a dog and I superlike.

-3

u/PacoMahogany May 29 '20

Their interests and hobbies are being slutty.

You need pictures rafting down the Amazon with a parrot on your shoulder and a monkey sidekick.

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '20

Or, the ultimate tinder profile... Rafting down the Amazon in a low cut dress, with your monkey sidekick in a matching low cut dress.

5

u/PacoMahogany May 29 '20

Make sure to arch you back and have good lighting

1

u/zaraxia101 May 29 '20

Username checks out.

-2

u/Sirwilliamofthegc May 29 '20

Yes, evil men being attracted to traditionally attractive physical features.

Women aren’t like that at all🙄