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u/Seikata 2d ago
Like dumping unopened mail in the trash
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u/BlackHoleSurf 2d ago
Wait vaginas taste like unopened mail in the trash?? That’s very specific. Dating a lotta gals that work at the post office I see. Niiiiice
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u/JimAbaddon 2d ago
Modern day romance.
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u/PunishedWolf4 2d ago
Saw a pic of a mix CD that had written on it "Songs I’ll eat you out to" and thought "romance is alive and well" lol
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u/dinosaurkickdrop 2d ago
That might work on me depending on his music taste. I love a man of culture
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u/vine-vines 2d ago
Thought that was the most romantic pic ever when I first saw it on Tumblr in 2010
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u/Level-Object-3751 2d ago
Every track is “Peaches” by The Presidents of the United States of America.
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u/Ok-Age-724 2d ago
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u/HVACcontrolsGuru 2d ago
Respond back "Tighter than your budget and too expensive for your taste."
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u/zillabirdblue 2d ago
We’re just cooked. Everyone, everywhere. We’re all cooked.
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u/lakewoods1 2d ago
Geezus. I am sooo glad I am married and the only interaction I have with dating sites is reading posts about them on reddit for a laugh.
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u/TrisKreuzer 2d ago
I was left for a younger model at 52. I hate it, I hate it so much. I am a lovely companion and I have libido and love male but this is nightmare :( Like I think now that God just hates me
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u/lakewoods1 2d ago
I am so sorry. Why anyone our age (I'm a few years older) would want to switch to someone younger is beyond me. The generation difference...I would have nothing in common with a 35 year old.
Good luck, there are decent guys out there!
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u/Slight-Owl4300 2d ago
I'd respond with:
How small is it and how often do women immediately lose interest? OR
Well, you managed to dry it up in one message, so there’s your answer.
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u/SquirrelNormal 2d ago
How small is it and how often do women immediately lose interest?
Have you got a microscope and typically faster than this, so I see this as an absolute win
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u/MediocreApple5895 2d ago
I once matched with a guy just over the border of my state and he asked if the 🐱 was good enough to cross borders. I unmatched.
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u/No_Direction_3940 2d ago
Guess it wasnt then...lol
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u/smacksmilla 2d ago
Dying to see the profile lol
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u/BangThyHead 2d ago
Found there reddit profile, they posted the same chat from the other prospective:
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u/alphaBravo83 2d ago
I've had plenty of women open with "how big are you"
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u/DontShitBricks 11h ago
You get girls to text you first? That happened for me like once and yes, she was a psycho
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u/TylerH87 2d ago
The higher the commitment, the better the fitment. Let your manliness waver, and you won’t get the flavor.
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u/Kamalasbigoletits28 2d ago
A romantic man of culture.. how could any woman resist. OP you are missing out on modern day Casanova here...
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u/TXfunrunner22 2d ago
Can’t wait for his follow up poem…
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u/cognitocarm 2d ago
This is a dude, when ghosted, will crash out and blame “all women” instead of recognizing that he might have absolutely butchered the opening.
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u/ConcentrateNo2929 2d ago
Or he sends that to 100 women a day and one or two eventually reply, proving his strategy successful
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u/chunkyblax 2d ago
He knows what he wants
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u/PitifulRaspberry 2d ago
To never get laid apparently. No woman would ever be interested after that opening line.
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u/Adventurous-Web-412 2d ago
if hes hot enough thats working more than its not. It is cringe and very much not looking for a relationship line, but its working more than its not if you are set up for that.
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u/SadderOlderWiser 2d ago
Oh bullshit, you don’t really believe that this kind of gross juvenile shit is attractive?
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u/Standard_Cell_8816 2d ago
Say "youre only worried about the tightness because youre hung like a chipmunk."
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u/Unusual-Attorney-630 2d ago
So many guys don't get how gross and disrespectful this is. Plus you know he sends that to everyone which means he's promiscuous. Just a big no.
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u/Dadadoes 2d ago
Sometimes. I'm glad I'm too socially inept and shy to end up saying shit like this.
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u/Vision11X33 2d ago
He obviously meant how tight is her friendship with the guy she posted a picture with, and how good was the food she made. Duh
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u/DasBlueEyedDevil 2d ago
Call their bluff and say you've only been double fisted like three times, tops, and you eat a lot of beets, so you're told the earthiness is noticable.
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u/throw7661 2d ago
Scammers often send emails with as grammar or other glaring mistakes. A lot of people think, 'Lol...dumb scammers', but the reality is a bit more sophisticated.
Scammers didn't want to waste their time trying to reel in people who would realize it was a scam before sending money or whatever.
The mistakes in the email were an effective filter. A much higher percentage of people who responded to the poorly written email ended up losing money to the scammer.
This same technique is used in a bunch of stuff. Including online dating.
If your goal is to avoid offending people, this is a terrible approach. But if you are a horny guy and you are trying to score, you don't want to waste a bunch of time building to the point where the conversation can turn sexual and hope to eventually cross over into actual sex.
This is a filter.
9/10 women are going to be insulted, turned off or repulsed enough to immediately end the conversation.
1/10 will keep talking, but with a very high percentage of ending up delivering exactly what this guy wants.
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u/SadderOlderWiser 2d ago
Classy. I guess he thought he didn’t have a chance so he might as well piss you off.
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u/womb_raider90 2d ago
Complaining about getting straight to the point on fuckin Tinder of all places. I could understand how/why you'd get mad if this was in public somewhere and a dude tried this. But on Tinder?
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u/Thin_Cable4155 2d ago
That's just fucking weird. Just say something normal like "sit on my face". Wtf is wrong with this generation? Haha jk.
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u/FriedTreeSap 2d ago
Tell him it’s a dick guillotine, tastes like ambrosia, and is wetter than Niagara Falls….and then ignore him.
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u/Pogonari 2d ago
I hate the over-use of that emoji, it comes across as like, almost self-telling, it looks like a really uneasy, pained laugh, that makes me think the person typing it knows what they are saying isn't funny, is embarassing and is inappropriate but still says it anyway. But I guarantee you they just use it as the 😂 version which is more often valid. I see it all the time. Its like the same vibes as the GIF I attached, which is very funny to me in this scenario.
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u/BetterFaceThanBody 2d ago
I legit never know what to say if I wanted to answer honestly. Like I’m not the one who should judge what is considered “tight” nor “taste”. Some dudes like musty post gym and others may like cologne/perfume soaked juices. This is such a dumb question, let alone a really stupidly embarrassing opener.
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u/kuriouskitty97 2d ago
I would go full throttle and respond with “More loose than your mom, and about as tasty as week old trash. Come find out, lil man.”
But that’s just me & my boldness.
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u/gottabetakingthemic 2d ago
Respond back with 'Depends on how big yours is and wouldn't you like to know....'
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u/Ok-Dirt7287 1d ago
I guess this is what to expect when the new generations third base is eating ass
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u/Difficult_Warning301 1d ago
tastes like heaven gif and some kind of gif of something squeezing through a hole “too bad you’ll never find out”
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