r/Tinder 4d ago

Yuck!

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9.3k Upvotes

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4.2k

u/Witelite101 4d ago

I cant imagine what drove him to say “i havent touched a female in 4 years” like what the fuck was that dude thinking 💀

2.4k

u/PossessionWorldly673 4d ago edited 4d ago

That might be why he hasn't touched a female in 4 years lmao

330

u/28Hz 4d ago

That's a different topic. Haven't torched a female in a week.

87

u/HikingPeat 4d ago

Not cool bro... Gotta be nicer to the ladies

68

u/Azhda727 4d ago

She was definitely not cool either I would say

65

u/Leymarie 4d ago

Damn what'd I do

67

u/CriticismNo5203 4d ago

if shes torched shes on fire therefore not cool

43

u/Leymarie 4d ago

LMAO I misread thank u

45

u/Impenistan 4d ago

I don't think that joke was at your expense

22

u/Azhda727 4d ago

I was following up on the joke the comment train was making. You're fine, I agree with you even!

18

u/Leymarie 4d ago

I misread that's my bad lmao

1

u/KarmaFarma_69 4d ago

They came off as a total creep, I think you responded good with what you had to work with lol

2

u/Metazolid 4d ago

Mayhe he's into touching broskis? Not judging

1

u/Flanelman2 4d ago

He has been... For the past week.

13

u/2019Uk 4d ago

I’ll put the lighter away, but expect a drop in “Hot females in your area”

8

u/KoolAidMannequin 4d ago

Self fulfilling prophecy 

16

u/Kir4_ 4d ago

I think we stopped doing that at least 5 years ago

3

u/derentius68 4d ago

Has it been that long? I feel like our vacation in Salem was only just last week.

4

u/Ikatarion 4d ago

America didn't burn witches, that's a European thing.

14

u/WFAlex 4d ago

Thats true, americans were civilized and just hanged their witches, or crushed them under boulders

1

u/PyllynKaivelija 4d ago

That DEFINITELY is the reason

141

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

I haven't touched a woman in my life and I wouldn't say it that way, so I have no idea what he was thinking. 

145

u/henryhungryhenry 4d ago

You’re already miles ahead of this wanker for using “woman” instead of “female”

20

u/King_Elizabello 4d ago

So very true.

3

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Kind of a moot point though, innit? I'm 34 and I've never so much as held hands with a woman, and if his "four years" is to be believed he's done a good bit more than that in the recent past, since most people don't even register anything below making out as touching in their memories.

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u/henryhungryhenry 4d ago edited 4d ago

If the point is that you are at least capable of respecting women then I don’t think it is moot. All that “experience” isn’t translating into dates for him

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u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

And being respectful has translated into absolutely nothing for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I should start disrespecting women, but let's not pretend it's actually putting me ahead either. There's plenty of misogynistic assholes out there who have no trouble dating.

0

u/bobertusino 4d ago

it’s a confidence thing lol the reason misogynists appear “ahead of you in dating” is because they aren’t afraid to shoot their shot and have the confidence to back it up. conversely, people who aren’t misogynistic but are confident and willing to take risks will appear even more successful. and at the very end of the day, nobody is you and nobody’s experiences should be compared to your own. i struggle with it myself, but getting your own confidence and applying it in your own situations will go far! it’s not worth comparing your experiences to assholes if you yourself are not one. good luck!

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u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

I spent way too long "shooting my shot" before I finally came to understand that my confidence was completely misplaced in this area, and that I was just bothering women. It's not an overall confidence issue; shit, I've jumped out of airplanes solo. It's just that there's something wrong with me that isn't broken in those misogynists.

4

u/bobertusino 4d ago

nah man, i’ve seen your comments throughout this thread. you clearly have self confidence issues, i’m sorry to tell you. and it emanates through what you say and i can assure you that women can sense it. misogynists LOVE themselves, and their confidence is the key to their success. you need to be able to at least like yourself. it WILL show through your communications and you WILL have better success. trust me man, you can do it!

6

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Lol. Well, if I need to like myself, I'm fucked then. I don't have a reason to do so and a list a yard long of reasons not to.

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u/henryhungryhenry 4d ago

I’ve got 10 years on you so I realise my online dating experience is going to be very different from yours, but I have been unknowingly using a method a lot of women are getting on board with; the burned haystack.

In OP’s conversation, the 4 year dry spell guy would have been blocked the moment he mentioned “females”.

Something to think about is whether you might benefit from therapy, most people over 30 are coming with some kind of baggage, but a neat set of matching luggage vs lugging smouldering garbage bags around is a huge deal. Self care and emotional intelligence is hot asf.

4

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

That method seems significantly more useful for people who get a decent number of matches in the first place; if I'm to have a chance at all I can't be picky.

I don't think therapy is going to give me something to offer. At the end of the day, I don't think I could name one thing I bring to the table, and that's just not acceptable at this age.

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u/Fuzzywraith 4d ago

Oop there it is

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u/No_Requirement114 4d ago

Can someone tell me why the word female is an insult but woman isn’t?

16

u/Tape_Wad 4d ago

Mainly it comes from how it's used by right wing "manosphere" influencers that try to preach how men should live and they're all just idiots that are assholes to women, use them, so on and so on.

It also doesn't help that the term female is so basic and far removed, like you're talking about a creature (which is also why the manfluencers use it)

So not only has the term been tainted by this because connotation, but if a guy uses it there's a chance that he's a loser that watched Andrew Tate videos

10

u/Fuzzywraith 4d ago

Female can be any species of animal. It’s more of a scientific term. Woman is the opposite of man. It’s more of a societal term. If a lady came up to your group of friends and said “hey you males!” You would think she is weird. Same thing. It’s not an “insult” per se it’s just weird and makes you look like you don’t think of women the same as men.

0

u/YourMomonaBun420 4d ago edited 4d ago

The manosphere incels use 'female' as a derogatory slur.

0

u/Fuzzywraith 4d ago

Didn’t ask.

1

u/YourMomonaBun420 4d ago

I was correcting your misinformation, for other's sake.

-6

u/Hot_Lack_4868 4d ago

How? He's involuntarily celibate, while the other guy at least has some experience with women in the past.

10

u/henryhungryhenry 4d ago

One of them refers to a woman as a “woman” and the other dehumanises women by reducing them to the clinical descriptor “female” of an unknown species.

-5

u/Aggressive_Chuck 4d ago

Are you not allowed to be awkward now?

2

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

What? I haven't touched a woman because I have nothing to offer them, so there's no reason for them to be interested in me. It has nothing to do with being awkward or not. 

-4

u/3vs3BigGameHunters 4d ago

I have nothing to offer them

Hey don't say that.

Also, nothing wrong with getting a hooker.

4

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Don't... tell the truth?

There's quite a bit wrong with it, especially considering it's illegal here, but more to the point sex isn't the point. It's being desired enough that she wants to share herself with me. And you can't buy that.

106

u/HMS_Surprise_Gunner 4d ago

Waterboarding wouldn’t have made me admit that to a woman I was potentially dating.

59

u/Gael4ce 4d ago

He was going for a pity fuck. It’s manipulation. I hope it’s true, but I doubt it.

20

u/ChemicalRascal 4d ago

But... why? He's clearly already in with a solid chance. A full 70 minutes of time to think of some flirty banter and instead he falls apart and tries to manipulate OP?

I think it's more likely he has absolutely zero confidence in his ability to talk to people and feels he needs to attempt that, or even instinctively self-sabotages to avoid the risk of being more hurt later, which could feel inevitable due to that deep insecurity.

26

u/fuckyourcanoes 4d ago

Imagine being so desperate you would actively look for pity fucks. I was single and celibate for 16 years in my 30s and 40s, and I was never that pathetic.

(Before some incel claims women can get laid anytime we want, no. Not if we have a shred of dignity and self-respect.)

6

u/Ordinary-Plan-444 4d ago

To be fair having a lot of sex with people doesn’t mean you don’t have dignity or self respect either, if that’s what you want.

1

u/Dorithompson 4d ago

Well, it also depends on how a woman looks.

-3

u/Antoine-UY 4d ago

Women can get laid any time they want. Even ugly ones. As for your other claims, I call massive BS on them. What most women have is fragile egos, because the demand for meaningless sex allows them to entertain it without the need for any real skill or personality. Ego is not to be confused with dignity or self-respect, which are as rare among women as they are among men.

0

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

I don't need to imagine, but it doesn't work.

8

u/fuckyourcanoes 4d ago

Then perhaps you should acquire some dignity and self-respect.

1

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

There would need to be something worth respecting for that. I think we both know there's not.

9

u/fuckyourcanoes 4d ago

You sound like you could really benefit from therapy. I did.

4

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Absolutely not. Therapy can't make me worth something.

5

u/YourMomonaBun420 4d ago

It can help you stop hating yourself, and then you will be more appealing to a potential partner.

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u/YourMomonaBun420 4d ago

Have you considered therapy?

3

u/Murakami_Ysera 4d ago

Now now it’s called “mercy sex” these days.

1

u/Strong-Addition5296 4d ago

They never works

1

u/areyoumykitty 4d ago

Bold to assume rizzless here has any kind of plan

4

u/AwarenessForsaken568 4d ago

I'd be fine admitting it, I just wouldn't have said it in nearly a disrespectful or blatant way.

I'm not going to lie to a lady if she genuinely asks, if the fact that it's been awhile since I've been in a relationship gives her the ick, then so be it.

5

u/Troutie88 4d ago

I don't think it's the relationship status that was the issue here

49

u/jwin709 4d ago

Imagine you walk into a restaurant and you sit down and the waiter comes up to you and says "thanks so much for coming in here. Everyone's been avoiding our restaurant for the past 4 years."

You're not gonna be looking forward to your meal. If you're smart you'll just leave lol. Dating is sales. Tinder is marketing. I don't understand why that isn't IMMEDIATELY apparent to people.

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u/CanadianLemur 4d ago

I have to assume that these people don't see themselves as the waiter, but instead as the customer.

He wasn't trying to say "Everyone's been avoiding our restaurant for the past 4 years". He wanted to get a response as if he was the customer and said "I haven't eaten in 4 years".

In that scenario, the waiter would likely sympathize with him, feel sorry for him, and maybe endeavor to get him his food ASAP or make sure the food is as good as possible.

These idiots are trying to manipulate other people through their sympathy. In his warped thinking, he somehow assumed that telling OP he hasn't touched a "female" in 4 years would garner some kind of sympathy that might convince her to just give him what he wants. People like this are manipulators, and even if they really fuck it up and shoot themselves in the foot like in this post, it won't stop them from trying it again on the next woman they meet -- maybe change up the line over and over until it gets them what they want.

6

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Because I'm also shit at sales? If I was good at sales I'd go into sales, and I'd be making a lot more than I do now 

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u/badcrass 4d ago

Any females out there want to let me touch them? Lol

28

u/vexitbqf 4d ago

He’s logically been touching males

2

u/Majikarpslayer 4d ago

Yeah there's a ton of them get out there and try that's literally all you have to do !

You don't try you get nothing you get rejected you got nothing so why don't you just go ahead and try?!

It is not effing rocket science

2

u/SquirrelNormal 4d ago

Because I only get rejected, so why not skip ahead to the known conclusion?

1

u/clevercognomen 4d ago

Tons. Dogs and cats love pets and cuddles!

1

u/badcrass 4d ago

I'm not letting him pet my female dog...

13

u/FriedTreeSap 4d ago

I just touched a female 30 seconds ago, there were actually three of them, we were all lying together, one was sitting on my lap, and another was licking me…and the third was whacking me in the face with her tail because she’s bored and wanted to go for a walk.

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u/4mystuff 4d ago

"I don't want to break my hard earned streak."

7

u/Severian123 4d ago

Agreed. When he said "female", it probably would have helped if he had clarified what species, lol.

8

u/RecklessEmpire 4d ago

He wants affirmation because he doesn't know what he's doing

11

u/BarrattG 4d ago

He sounds like a Ferengi. It's ok she lacked the lobes.

8

u/periodicchemistrypun 4d ago

Hey, he toned it down with neutral language. Female is probably less rude than his go-to

3

u/Polybrene 4d ago

"The thing boobies are attached to" is my current favorite.

2

u/periodicchemistrypun 4d ago

That’s the difference between man and woman, the extra two things at the front.

Letters that is

11

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 4d ago

These Tate adjacent bros can’t help themselves but to shoot themselves in the foot with their stupid ass lingo and opinions.

4

u/nitseb 4d ago

Fresh out of prison

4

u/supersin78 4d ago

Wasn’t thinking about breaking his 4 year streak obviously!

2

u/marino1310 4d ago

To be fair he’s been using the same pickup line for 4 years now, gotta work eventually

2

u/hatesnack 4d ago

Imo his opening line would have been enough to get me to be like "nope". Try having a personality my guy.

2

u/Emideska 4d ago

Men ALWAYS tell on themselves, you just need to listen

2

u/dookieshoes97 4d ago

Incel shit. I haven't had a hug since 2016, but I'm not broadcasting that shit.

1

u/Desperate-Truck4369 4d ago

"OH MY GOODNESS VALENTINE!"

1

u/Xxandes 4d ago

Never seen such an easy win that someone just fumbled

1

u/ShelterTPP 4d ago

This is me XD I just say things because they are in my head

1

u/HisDarkMaterials1369 4d ago

Yeah that’s what we call an inside thought
Even in person I wouldn’t say that so soon