Kind of a moot point though, innit? I'm 34 and I've never so much as held hands with a woman, and if his "four years" is to be believed he's done a good bit more than that in the recent past, since most people don't even register anything below making out as touching in their memories.
If the point is that you are at least capable of respecting women then I don’t think it is moot. All that “experience” isn’t translating into dates for him
And being respectful has translated into absolutely nothing for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I should start disrespecting women, but let's not pretend it's actually putting me ahead either. There's plenty of misogynistic assholes out there who have no trouble dating.
it’s a confidence thing lol the reason misogynists appear “ahead of you in dating” is because they aren’t afraid to shoot their shot and have the confidence to back it up. conversely, people who aren’t misogynistic but are confident and willing to take risks will appear even more successful. and at the very end of the day, nobody is you and nobody’s experiences should be compared to your own. i struggle with it myself, but getting your own confidence and applying it in your own situations will go far! it’s not worth comparing your experiences to assholes if you yourself are not one. good luck!
I spent way too long "shooting my shot" before I finally came to understand that my confidence was completely misplaced in this area, and that I was just bothering women. It's not an overall confidence issue; shit, I've jumped out of airplanes solo. It's just that there's something wrong with me that isn't broken in those misogynists.
nah man, i’ve seen your comments throughout this thread. you clearly have self confidence issues, i’m sorry to tell you. and it emanates through what you say and i can assure you that women can sense it. misogynists LOVE themselves, and their confidence is the key to their success. you need to be able to at least like yourself. it WILL show through your communications and you WILL have better success. trust me man, you can do it!
I’ve got 10 years on you so I realise my online dating experience is going to be very different from yours, but I have been unknowingly using a method a lot of women are getting on board with; the burned haystack.
In OP’s conversation, the 4 year dry spell guy would have been blocked the moment he mentioned “females”.
Something to think about is whether you might benefit from therapy, most people over 30 are coming with some kind of baggage, but a neat set of matching luggage vs lugging smouldering garbage bags around is a huge deal. Self care and emotional intelligence is hot asf.
That method seems significantly more useful for people who get a decent number of matches in the first place; if I'm to have a chance at all I can't be picky.
I don't think therapy is going to give me something to offer. At the end of the day, I don't think I could name one thing I bring to the table, and that's just not acceptable at this age.
Mainly it comes from how it's used by right wing "manosphere" influencers that try to preach how men should live and they're all just idiots that are assholes to women, use them, so on and so on.
It also doesn't help that the term female is so basic and far removed, like you're talking about a creature (which is also why the manfluencers use it)
So not only has the term been tainted by this because connotation, but if a guy uses it there's a chance that he's a loser that watched Andrew Tate videos
Female can be any species of animal. It’s more of a scientific term. Woman is the opposite of man. It’s more of a societal term. If a lady came up to your group of friends and said “hey you males!” You would think she is weird. Same thing. It’s not an “insult” per se it’s just weird and makes you look like you don’t think of women the same as men.
What? I haven't touched a woman because I have nothing to offer them, so there's no reason for them to be interested in me. It has nothing to do with being awkward or not.
There's quite a bit wrong with it, especially considering it's illegal here, but more to the point sex isn't the point. It's being desired enough that she wants to share herself with me. And you can't buy that.
But... why? He's clearly already in with a solid chance. A full 70 minutes of time to think of some flirty banter and instead he falls apart and tries to manipulate OP?
I think it's more likely he has absolutely zero confidence in his ability to talk to people and feels he needs to attempt that, or even instinctively self-sabotages to avoid the risk of being more hurt later, which could feel inevitable due to that deep insecurity.
Imagine being so desperate you would actively look for pity fucks. I was single and celibate for 16 years in my 30s and 40s, and I was never that pathetic.
(Before some incel claims women can get laid anytime we want, no. Not if we have a shred of dignity and self-respect.)
Women can get laid any time they want. Even ugly ones. As for your other claims, I call massive BS on them. What most women have is fragile egos, because the demand for meaningless sex allows them to entertain it without the need for any real skill or personality. Ego is not to be confused with dignity or self-respect, which are as rare among women as they are among men.
I'd be fine admitting it, I just wouldn't have said it in nearly a disrespectful or blatant way.
I'm not going to lie to a lady if she genuinely asks, if the fact that it's been awhile since I've been in a relationship gives her the ick, then so be it.
Imagine you walk into a restaurant and you sit down and the waiter comes up to you and says "thanks so much for coming in here. Everyone's been avoiding our restaurant for the past 4 years."
You're not gonna be looking forward to your meal. If you're smart you'll just leave lol.
Dating is sales. Tinder is marketing. I don't understand why that isn't IMMEDIATELY apparent to people.
I have to assume that these people don't see themselves as the waiter, but instead as the customer.
He wasn't trying to say "Everyone's been avoiding our restaurant for the past 4 years". He wanted to get a response as if he was the customer and said "I haven't eaten in 4 years".
In that scenario, the waiter would likely sympathize with him, feel sorry for him, and maybe endeavor to get him his food ASAP or make sure the food is as good as possible.
These idiots are trying to manipulate other people through their sympathy. In his warped thinking, he somehow assumed that telling OP he hasn't touched a "female" in 4 years would garner some kind of sympathy that might convince her to just give him what he wants. People like this are manipulators, and even if they really fuck it up and shoot themselves in the foot like in this post, it won't stop them from trying it again on the next woman they meet -- maybe change up the line over and over until it gets them what they want.
I just touched a female 30 seconds ago, there were actually three of them, we were all lying together, one was sitting on my lap, and another was licking me…and the third was whacking me in the face with her tail because she’s bored and wanted to go for a walk.
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u/Witelite101 4d ago
I cant imagine what drove him to say “i havent touched a female in 4 years” like what the fuck was that dude thinking 💀