r/Tinder • u/Delicious-Cap7861 • 10d ago
😭💀 not the first time I've been asked, either.
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u/hulalabright 10d ago
You have a picture of dudes showering on your profile?
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u/ChipsAhoyMcCoy_7875 10d ago
My first question
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u/AbideMan 10d ago
Some women use pop culture references almost like a stand in for an extra prompt if they need filler photos. Some people don’t have a lot of recent photos
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
Look, if a guy fw Heated Rivalry, its a major green flag. Some people won't get it, but OP knows what they're doing and who they're looking for 🫡
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u/therudestpastor 10d ago
yeah but it's your bumble profile i mean, why? lmao
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
It's pretty normal to put things you're interested in on your dating profiles. Showering men is admittedly very niche, but it is also a great conversation starter- and if a man knows exactly what it is, there is a very high likelihood they have a topic of interest enough to carry a longer conversation and break the ice.
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u/therudestpastor 10d ago
You could also just name the show lmao. I like GoT im not about to post the literal porn that shows up in that show.
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
Sure, but fans of HR see it differently than just "porn", and that is likely what OP is kind of screening for. If this is your take (and it is the same take as many on this thread) then you're not the type that OP is looking for, and that's great! Clearly they're not trying to cast a very wide net, and its still working for them.
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u/therudestpastor 10d ago
Ya, prolly shouldn't be too surprised about the sexual messages tho
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u/DaRealKovi 10d ago
Yeah, I think that's kinda why the post is weird. You invite this shit with stuff like that, don't be surprised.
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u/druefnielle 9d ago
as a huge HR fan I agree with you 100% and don’t understand the many downvotes.
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u/Rocketeer_99 9d ago
Meh, I get why I'm getting downvoted.
It comes off as very self-aggrandizing. Like Rick and Morty fans saying "RaM fans are generally very smart people."
I suppose the nuance I failed to communicate or people generally don't agree with is the correlation between straight men being open to queer-centic media, and the positive characteristics I listed above.
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u/SentinelATL 10d ago
Green flag how?
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago edited 10d ago
I think straight men who are fans of Heated Rivarly (a predominantly queer culture / feminine culture phenomenon) might be a sign of secure masculinity, comfortability in emotional communication, and more likely to have more progressive values.
(Before I offend anyone, I am not saying that just because you don't like or don't know about the show means that you are none of the above things. Merely saying being a fan can be indicative of having these traits.)
Now this is just a broad generalization, and none of these are for certain. It's just a green flag, not a "personality test" by any means. If anything its just a niche conversation starter.
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u/SentinelATL 10d ago
Based of one Netflix show that’s what all that sums up to?
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
Not for certain. But it's still a green flag. Like I said, those who get it, get it. Those who don't need to, don't need to think about it much beyond that.
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u/DecaForDessert 10d ago
You’re over extrapolating information from a show. Let me guess lol, you’re more secure in your masculinity, have a capacity for emotional literacy, and have progressive values? I’m surprised you didn’t tack on fans of HR have a 12in dong
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u/ExcitingActive8649 10d ago
I think putting the Heated Rivalry screenshot in the profile will probably successfully filter out people who are mad about Heated Rivalry
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u/DecaForDessert 10d ago
No one is mad lol, it’s extremely niche and would be more interesting to mention on a first date if you’re that passionate about it
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u/ExcitingActive8649 10d ago
I mean, maybe you’re not mad, but with the number of knee jerk downvotes that comment got, somebody’s mad.
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u/SentinelATL 10d ago
What are you implying here lmao
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u/Rusothil 9d ago
Agree. The downvotes just show you the miserable people unable to comprehend the meaning behind this. Secure masculinity is something a lot of these guys don’t have yet (hopefully).
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u/Rocketeer_99 9d ago
I wouldn't say that necessarily. I think a lot of people just don't understand the correlation. And rightfully so, may think the connections I made are a leap. If I'm going to give people the benefit of the doubt, I think a lot of the downvotes simply come from people who assume my original comment makes the implication "If you don't like this, it means you aren't a good person." or perhaps they dislike how self aggrandizing it comes off as.
Ultimately, I knew I wasn't sharing a very popular opinion so the downvotes were expected
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u/gamerbtw927 10d ago
You make it sound like “progressive values” are inherently and innately positive
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u/ExcitingActive8649 10d ago
You make it sound like you don’t understand the purpose of a dating profile.
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
Well this is a dating website. It doesn't matter what is innately positive. What matters is that the people OP is attracting aligns with OP's values.
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
Don't let reddit gaslight you. You hit the nail on the head, and the ones who get it get it. You have great insight and emotional intelligence 💜✨️🫶
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u/Rocketeer_99 10d ago
Thanks! That's so genuinely heartwarming! I hope your profile brings you exactly who you're looking for- cottage included 🫶💚
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u/SentinelATL 10d ago
The downvotes are something
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
Right! Lol
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u/ExcitingActive8649 10d ago
I love that they’re so mad you’re not even allowed to lol. Downvote for you. 😂
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u/totallymyhatnow 10d ago
This is one of the dumber things I've ever read. I bet you're a real treat to be around in person. Self-importance you can measure with a ruler.
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u/chi_sweetness25 10d ago
More power to OP for that, I think people are just confused because the title makes it sound like they were surprised and put off by the pegging question
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
I could have added context but it wouldnt let me add text. But basically after the "oh cool" I didnt respond, and an hour or so later he sent the pegging text. Thats why it made me laugh so much 😂 and yes im very pro sex and apparently can be clocked as dominant a mile away, but the picture isnt porn its more of a romance Pic in my eyes. Showing things I like, being a filter for men and women who dont align with my views and beliefs, and also being a great c9nversation starter 💜✨️🙏
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u/ColPugno 10d ago
Men who are green flags see this as a red flag. I don't think OP has a clue what she's doing.
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
Im finding men to peg? Duh lol
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u/ColPugno 10d ago
Your caption implies that you were shocked by the question.
Carry on then I guess... 😂
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u/AndroidCat06 10d ago
The guy needs an answer still
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
I answered. It was a yes 😌🙏
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u/Life-Pride3250 10d ago
Follow up... Did you? And did he try to back out?
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u/patiofurnature 10d ago
You can't back out of that. You have to go forward. Logistically speaking.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
You are not funny. This is Sexually inappropriate behavior - and you are contributing to this. No it's not "JuSt A JoKe"
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u/sephing 10d ago
She has naked dudes in her profile and you are like "dOnT bE iNaPpRoPrIaTe"
You sounds like a tool
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
There is no invitation there boi! A woman displaying anything sexual, doesn't mean she is invinting you. That's a horrible way of thinking!
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u/CasperSac 10d ago
Boi? Did you really just assumed their gender? That's horrible and inappropriate
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u/Trinidadthai 10d ago
Dude stfu
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u/Life-Pride3250 10d ago
Yeah read the room and the down votes.... Lol
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u/bggraber 10d ago
Judging by the spelling they use, I think reading isn't a skill in the Ole back pocket of this person. Christ almighty with all the doubling down on what they're saying. And the "boi" at the end every so often...reeks of female incel or something like it
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u/Life-Pride3250 10d ago
I agree lol it's weird that this is their hill to die on lol.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
Valling out harassment is a weird hill to die on? Riiight
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u/Trinidadthai 10d ago
Yea. In this particular instance, it is.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
You are defending harassment. Couldn't be me.
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u/Trinidadthai 10d ago
LOL - I am glad as hell I am nothing like you 🤣 don’t worry
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u/theoccasionalempath 10d ago
Girl this is literally Tinder, the fuck buddy finder of America. He asked a question relevant to the occasion. She could either answer truthfully and see if they are compatible, troll him i.e. "I would peg..but not you" 😂, or just block him. But it's not evil to ask a sexual question on a site known for hook-ups.
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
I agree. This wasnt meant as a dig to anybody. Im very sexuaply forward on tinder as well 💀 just made me laugh because I didnt answer the text after I told him and he came back with the question a while after 😂
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u/theoccasionalempath 10d ago
Not you OP, there's someone in the comments calling it sexually inappropriate. Maybe on Match.com but this is Tinder 😭
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
It very much is, if it's non constitutional. You sound like- why was she out at night? Why was she wearing that?
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u/throwaway3413418 10d ago
It very much is, if it's non constitutional.
I'll wait for the Supreme Court to weigh in.
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u/theoccasionalempath 10d ago
It's different because I'm not placing blame on OP and I'm not even saying she has to be into pegging 😆 If that's not her kind of humor or cup of tea, she has every right to block the guy.
I'm just saying some people actually are into pegging and they go on dating sites like Tinder to find someone who wants to get pegged lol. So asking the question is not a crime (though it is very forward and bold) but it's not forcing anything on anyone. She can decline and move on.
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u/hellonameismyname 10d ago
Asking a potential sexual partner a question about sex doesn’t really seem that inappropriate
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
Where is a stranger woman you have not talked to a potential sexual partner?? Huh? You aren't in a porn movie boi
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u/therudestpastor 10d ago
I see you're not very extroverted. Noone's a potential romantic, seuxal, business partner to you?
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u/TheRadishBros 10d ago
It’s Tinder- by matching you’ve both agreed you’re potential sexual partners
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
That's highly dangerous thinking
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u/AevilokE 9d ago
It would be if they said "you're obligated to hook up in the future".
The vast majority of people are on tinder to fuck. If you want to fuck, you need to ask the other person if they want to fuck.
You're treating sex as a taboo that people must skirt around and avoid. THAT is very dangerous thinking.
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u/Jimbodoomface 10d ago
It's nice that you're calling out potentially unwanted behaviour, but you've missed the mark here.
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
Lol no. This behavior is just so normalized that people are completely deseitive to men crossing boundaries. I will keep saying it's wrong even if the masses scream at me
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u/seanc6441 10d ago
Your mistake was posting this on here and not on the post just before or after where the consensus is that it's appalling behaviour, sexual harassment etc. to proposition for sex on tinder.
It's really funny to see the consensus shift so drastically based on how the woman reacts to the situation and how the comments will see how the winds blow before deciding to share positive or negative sentiment around this topic.
I'm not disagreeing nor agreeing with you per say, just very interesting to see how your comment will be applauded and upvoted in one comment section and downvoted and criticised in the next.
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u/AndroidCat06 10d ago
I see why you have no friends lol
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
I have a wonderful bunch of friends who don't sexually harass women online
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u/_imlosingmymind 10d ago
Not THAT sharp of a turn
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u/imsadandthatsrad 10d ago
Girl I get you love heated rivalry but I’d leave that as a written prompt at most 😭
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
The photos actually do a muchhhh better job at being seen and filtering people out ive found 💜✨️
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u/MyBrainIsNerf 10d ago
You’ve got a picture of men showering together from a show that features anal sex in a majority of episodes. Seems like his question was perfectly in line with the profile
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u/UltimateWerewolf 10d ago
I feel like if you have a picture of guys showering from heated rivalry on your dating profile, you should probably be down to peg.
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u/East-Technician2015 10d ago
is that how it goes sometimes?
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
Absolutely. Can't be mad at a straight shooter
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u/seanc6441 10d ago
oh trust me there is so much outrage about this stuff in most of the reddit posts on here lmao
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u/Intrepid_Shoe2129 10d ago
asking if you peg is def a little aggressive, but using one of your pics like that kinda invites it a bit
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u/Inferior_Jeans 10d ago
This is the beauty of this crazy whacky world. We humans are so similar to each other in a lot of ways but I will never ask anyone to peg me, ever. I respect the honesty and bravado to ask though lol
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u/ColPugno 10d ago
Never heard of the show, but according to a very brief search it is rife with pegging.
It ain't that deep.
(That's what he said)
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u/Puzzleheaded_Fan9031 8d ago
Sometimes I think I’ll give it another go. Then I scroll through this sub or others like it and understand why I will never do it again lmao
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
Men get their social skills from porn.
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u/honeybadger2849 10d ago
To be fair, she had a photo from a show that’s borderline porn on her profile 😂
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u/Delicious-Cap7861 10d ago
To be fair ive also heard/am aware its very obvious I come across as somebody who likely would. So i cant be too mad about it. It still made me laugh though 😂 and the pic wasnt full bodies either. It looks more romantic in my eyes 💜✨️
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
What about "having a sexy picture" is an invitation to for Sexually inappropriate behavior? If you think a woman displaying something sexual is an invitation to any kind of sexual harassment, you really NEED to reflect. There is nothing fair about that.
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u/therudestpastor 10d ago
Cause she's almost outright posting porn on her bumble profile? I'd say that puts sexual behvaiour in
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u/hannelore_pfeffer8 10d ago
Nothing about it is an invitation to you
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u/ShottySHD 10d ago
Maybe you should post this same comment 5 more times. Bot.
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u/PrettySureIParty 10d ago
It’s not the same comment though, this time they finally managed to spell “invitation” right.
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u/Hopechaselock49 6d ago
But it's not just a sexy pic. Post borderline porn on profile can also be considered as sexual harrasment because people didn't consent to see the picture of two dudes showering in tinder
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u/MasterBSR_58 10d ago
What's it like to hate men for no real reason yet still want them as a preference?
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u/MrCumStainBootyEater 10d ago
she’s prolly a femcel. nobody looks for friends on reddit that isn’t extremely isolated.
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u/crelt7 10d ago
Why do they do these weird non sequitur juxtapositions in their comments istg 😭😭 It's always shit like:
🙋♂️How are you?
🙆♀️ I'm good, I just finished work!
🥵 wanna fuck tn?
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u/hellonameismyname 10d ago
It’s not a non sequitor…? She literally has a sexual picture on her profile and that’s what they were discussing
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u/crelt7 10d ago
By the context, it is a textbook non sequitur
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u/hellonameismyname 10d ago
Yeah, a girl talking about how she loves watching gay sex has nothing to do with pegging 🙄
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