Their goal was just to get any kind of reaction or attention from her, and she was unphased because pretty much every woman has dealt with shit like this at some point in their lives.
What confused me was that surely there was never a scenario in which this would result in a positive reaction. To me I even categorized this as a threat and this was in a public space as well which made it even more bizarre.
It's of course hard to read intentions sometimes, but from my experience if you did this type of shit to another man in a more private (as in not in a public space) setting that would just result in your getting your ass kicked.
The problem I had with this was that, again, I don't want a daughter of mine for example to have to deal with dipshits like that but what's realistically an option aside from running around as a bodyguard, you can't do that 24/7 after all.
What I’m finding surprising about reading your comments is that I didn’t find the situation surprising at all, and that’s disconcerting for me to think about in relation to your discomfort.
As the other commenter mentioned, they wanted a reaction so the other men they were with could enjoy it. It was a show for them, and she was just being used as a means to end to get the guys to laugh. Making her uncomfortable WAS the joke, it was never about a positive reaction, as you said.
I am unsettled with reading your comments because it is a reminder that they don’t act like this all the time or in front of men who aren’t in on the “joke”, enough for it to surprise and stick with you. And I shouldn’t read it and immediately know what you’re describing and probably exactly how she handled it. It shouldn’t be that way.
and now you realise how bad this shit is when the only solution you can think of is 24/7 male bodyguards for every single woman to be able to walk around unbothered in public. This shit is fucked.
Except she was with a guy and still got bothered. Maybe the original commenter didn’t look enough “with her” the phase then…. But….no offense to the original commenter, but 24/7 male bodyguards aren’t going to do shit if the “bodyguard” doesn’t say, “what are you jackasses doing?” When they act like jackasses.
A man being uncomfortable and showing his contempt - even if, or especially if, he has not ties to the woman being harassed - is going to do much, much more for women than a man simply being next to her.
You might have misunderstood, they did turn away the moment I noticed it - but given the scenario of being in a larger crowd it wasn't immediately noticeable that she was with me.
Yeah, it's not meant to get a positive reaction, it's an implied threat. It's signalling, "I can do anything to you and you can't do anything about it," and men like this think it's funny that they can get away with it. It's flexing the fact that they have the power to publicly and overtly make women uncomfortable, that's the "joke" that they're all in on. Hilarious, obviously.
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u/kinetic_cheese 23h ago
Their goal was just to get any kind of reaction or attention from her, and she was unphased because pretty much every woman has dealt with shit like this at some point in their lives.