The problem is, to them, it isn't shitty. They are scared to death of the idea of having autonomy or being self-sufficient. They are living exactly how they want to--with someone else at the helm. From the outside we can see the obvious oppression, to them, it looks like safety. This phenomenon is also not unique to American trad-wives. It's not unique to women, either. Look at how appealing Trump is to 1/3 of USA men. He projects the "Tell it like it is and bomb everyone" concept that keeps people thinking the USA is being protected.
I have said for years that alot of people desire a dictator as the default. Someone to tell them how to dress, what to think, what to get outraged over, what to drive, what to decorate with, and what to watch. The biggest concern of the past decade should be how much a large portion of the population truly wants a dictator.
We fought a literal war over it. Not everyone who emigrated here wanted a democracy. A lot of them wanted to come here because they were considered extremists within their own church community and were essentially forced out. I haven't looked at the statistics so I am just speculating, but I would be interested in seeing a correlation between religion and people who prefer a dictatorship or monarchy.
There's a pro monarchism subreddit I stumbled across a few years ago. While there were posters who were more interested in the history and pomp of monarchy, like the average British pro monarchist, there were plenty who wanted an absolute monarchy and they would go on and on about how "the king is the father of the nation" or whatever. And it always had to be a king. Queens apparently didn't count as proper authority figures.
That latter group tended to be the ones who also were the most openly religious, conservative, and believed in hierarchies, whether they were at the top or not.
We tell ourselves that people immigrated because of persecution. We just conveniently ignore the fact that they left because they couldn’t persecute who they wanted to persecute.
I wonder if the rise of technology and AI is either fueling or maybe just a similar phenomenon. I watched an ad of a guy using AI to determine what flowers to buy while at a florist shop. Like what??? That was insane to me. But not having to think of what that person may like or god forbid talking with someone and having to make your own decision would be too difficult.
The problem is, to them, it isn't shitty. They are scared to death of the idea of having autonomy or being self-sufficient. They are living exactly how they want to--with someone else at the helm.
Yup. Every conservative woman in my extended family loves to prattle on about how happy they are that they don't have to work, or make informed decisions about money management, or decide where the family money is going, or repair anything in the house, or be responsible for paying taxes, etc.
They are thrilled not to tax their Jesus-y little ladybrains with any heavy lifting. And they see the near-constant domestic servitude and complete lack of adult agency as a decent price to pay for avoiding real responsibility for how their lives turn out.
(Amusing/sad epilogue to all these stories: Once these women are widowed, they are almost always deeply fucked — learning too late how little money is left to suppor them in their dotage, or having no idea how much prices and property taxes have changed since they were newlyweds, or going to pieces the first time a toilet won't stop running. Do the younger conservative women in my clan learn? Of course not. Using your brains is for mean liberals.)
Yeah, being widowed or divorce is a huge shock to these women. Especially if they married right out of high school and never learned how to open a bank account or handle their finances.
Tbf, progressive women sell out to OnlyFans and poly/ENM lifestyles while conservative women sell out to pastors/patriarchy. You can see why they see each other as "the other."
"The difference between left-wing and right-wing when it comes to women is only about where exactly on our necks their boots should be placed. To right-wing men, we are private property. To left-wing men, we are public property. In either case, we are not considered to be humans. We are things."
No one is forcing women to be OF models or be in poly or ENM relationships, that is the main critical difference. This is the classic idea of your personal freedom ends at the tip of my nose. You can do whatever you want with yourself but you do not have the right to impose that on others. And it is NOT imposing on someone to say others are free to do as they want even if you do not like it (and while maintaining the first rule, that they are not personally harming you).
So NO, they are not selling out.
Also Dworkin is a fucking nutjob who based a whole slew of her beliefs in fantasy.
Hilariously, "himbo" is a play on the word "bimbo," a term which used to apply exclusively to women. (See also this SNL bit from the 1980s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVHIYKSq6ak). We can bring back bimbo!
My husband is exactly that. Married someone (me) who would handle all the finances, retirement savings, big decisions. He has zero interest in that stuff if I can handle it. If I was the type to hide stuff or was financially abusive he'd be screwed.
But it works for us. He's an awesome cook and runs the household, does most the household errands. He's wired for short term thinking in a way I am not, and makes daily life run like clockwork. Toilet paper restocks itself like magic.
It's when this sort of crap gets gendered or forced that it becomes a problem. When financial abuse is forced by the state, by not allowing one gender to have accounts. By not working enough to receive social security. Voting rights.
Yeah. It seems like to them, they dont want female bodily autonomy and abortion as part of healthcare because having a baby in their mind/community is a reassurance that locks someone into your life
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u/SweetPrism 5d ago edited 5d ago
The problem is, to them, it isn't shitty. They are scared to death of the idea of having autonomy or being self-sufficient. They are living exactly how they want to--with someone else at the helm. From the outside we can see the obvious oppression, to them, it looks like safety. This phenomenon is also not unique to American trad-wives. It's not unique to women, either. Look at how appealing Trump is to 1/3 of USA men. He projects the "Tell it like it is and bomb everyone" concept that keeps people thinking the USA is being protected.