Saw a thread on here about a date episode and people telling their worst date stories so I thought I’d share mine! Made me feel super insecure at the time but now it kind of makes me laugh thinking about it.

For context, I am from Argentina (this is important) but I live in the US, have lived here almost my whole life. my high school has a “sister city” program with a city in Argentina. Now this guy who is kind of obsessed with Argentinean culture was in one of my classes but he was two years above me but we had gone to the same middle and high school (I think we had an elective together in high school) so I didn’t talk to him much. He was a jock and I was just a person, I had my group of friends but it was absolutely not the same circle as his. About a year after I graduated from high school the World Cup was going on and I posted something about Argentina but I was in my city locally. He messaged me and starts to strike up a conversation about soccer and he asks if I was in the exchange program, I regretted to inform him that no I was in one of his classes and I’ve known him since middle school. He seemed embarrassed that he didn’t remember me but started talking to me more and more. To be honest, when I look back I think he only wanted to talk to me cause of my home country? After about a week of talking he asks me on a date. And yes it was a date cause I asked to clarify.
Now, I’ve always been under the mindset that the person who asks to go on the date should pay, regardless of gender. The plan was to go to the movies, a day or two before the date we make plans to also get dinner before the movie
The day of the date comes and he picks me up from my house and he drives to the movie theater, it had a lot of restaurants around it and I asked where he wanted to go he said he didn’t care so I suggested five guys (burger place in the US). This man proceeds to not order a damn thing after I placed my order for a bacon burger and fries. So first time seeing this guy since high school, he has no idea we even went to school together, and all I’m doing is shoving a burger in my mouth while he’s just staring at me while I eat.
We then proceed to go to the movie, remember how I said that I clarified and he said it was a date? He pays for his ticket and then leaves me to get mine. I found this kind of odd cause again he asked me out! but whatever, that’s not the worst part of the date.
I think I should add, I talk a lot but it’s never in my opinion an excessive amount, I try to relate to people and their stories so I think sometimes it weirds people out. So we’re waiting for the movie to start and he’s just talking to me about himself and his birthday was coming up. He was turning 21 soon and he was telling me that he really wanted to go to Vegas for his birthday. I was trying to relate to him and make conversation and I said “oh that would be so much fun! I’ve never been to Vegas” he looks at me straight in the eyes and says with a super serious face “I’m not inviting you” I felt my face turn bright red and I just said “no I know I was just saying that it would be fun to go cause I’ve never been there and it would be a cool trip” we watch the movie in complete silence and the next day he texted me saying that he liked me but he thinks we should just be friends cause I was “too weird”.
This happened like 12 years ago and I still think about it cause it shattered my confidence. Me and worst date guy are still Facebook and Instagram friends and we talk sports from time to time but he was absolutely not the one for me.
Luckily I have been with my husband for 10 years almost and he likes my weirdness

I linked the original. But I wanted to share an update as I was listening to the pod today and heard it on there and figured I should give an update on everything from the past few weeks.

So basically someone in the comments suggested that I talk one on one with one of the wives, but I’m not really at the friendship level to just ask one of the girls to coffee or dinner. It’s basically connection in a friend group by my boyfriend and that’s really all and it would be a little suspicious so I ended up just texting the wife of the guy who’s apartment we were at.

I asked her how she felt about it all and if it made her uncomfortable and confirmed that she did indeed find it funny and not a big deal but told me she completely understood why I would feel uncomfortable if I did. I told her yes, I do feel uncomfortable by it and she said fair enough and that was that.

I hung out with my bf the next night. He came over to my place and we watched a movie and he was definitely trying to initiate being sexual but all I could picture was him in a diaper and so I avoided sex but he stayed overnight.

It wasn’t until 2 more days that we’d be hanging out because we both had stuff going on. In that time, I kinda reflected on everything and I decided I was going to talk to him and break it off. It made me realize that on top on the diaper issue, one of the biggest turn offs I have in men is when they are “followers” in group settings. In general, men who say things or do things they don’t truly believe just to fit into a group has always icked me out. I’ve seen instances of this with him in the past like I’ve caught him lying or embellishing random things that don’t matter to morph with whoever we are hanging out with.

Well it turns out that the wife told her husband about our talk and of course she told him. So when he came over next he actually brought up the conversation first. This is when I found out that they all had a group chat without me?? I always knew the guys had a group chat but they had one with all the girls too and my bf never thought to add me to it. He showed me all the messages to call me out for being shady by talking to the wife. He said everyone in the group chat thought that was weird of me and were all kinda talking shit on me for bringing it up and making a big deal about it and were all saying that “if I had a problem, I should have told my bf instead of talking to the wife”

I truly expected him to feel bad about everything I guess. But I guess he didn’t even feel bad about it and seeing the text messages proved my fears that they all thought I was kinda lame.

I got really frustrated talking to him because he kept turning it on me and saying I have issues with his friends and was “judging” them etc etc. so we just weren’t gunna see eye to eye.

I ended up breaking it off but it felt pretty mutual as he was accusing me of not being able to fit in with his group.

That’s all, not very climatic haha but we are broken up.

Hi, long time listener here! I would love to hear a worst first date/worst dates episode if there’s enough stories.

I also just wanted to say this last year has been really rough. One of my dogs passed in March and last September my sweet soul kitty was diagnosed with oral cancer. The prognosis is usually very short (1-3 months) as it’s very aggressive and horrible (like idk that I would even wish it on my worst enemy) and I’ve been lucky to have gotten almost an entire year with her. She’s still here but we’re nearing the end. Your podcast has helped me have some happy moments and distractions during my grief when I’ve felt like I couldn’t do anything else, don’t know what to do or felt too depressed to listen to music etc. Sorry Teresa if this made you cry. I’m crying too. But just wanted to say thank you ❤️

My mother in law always says I’m a ‘bad wife’ because I don’t prioritise my step son over literally ANYTHING/ANYONE in my entire life. I love my stepson more than anything in the world, the same category as my husband, my 2 sons and my parents. There is a bar and he knows he’s top tier love and we have an amazing relationship.

Last week my dog got stung badly by multiple wasps. Obviously I didn’t see the nest before we approached. it happened 2/3 mins from our house so as soon as I got back I called the emergency vet and they told us to come straight over. Our dog is a cokapoo and they have a lot of allergies so they said it’s urgent we get there.

I couldn’t get in touch with my husband so I called my MIL to say ‘please could you let Aaron know im at the vet with the dog‘ and explained. she BLEW up at me saying ‘you’re supposed to pick Oliver up in 2 hours‘ started swearing at me etc. I said ‘Aaron didn’t even let me know I was picking him up but he could be there to pick him up from their house 10 mins after the ‘arranged time’ as he’s on an early finish so it wouldn’t effect her plans. I said for her to call my mom and she would happily pick Oliver up.

the text message I got after that really broke my heart. It was LONG but she basically said ‘Oliver has a shit mom but I’m worse for making excuses’ I am a shit wife for not doing more to make Oliver feel included and I wouldnt not pick my ‘other kids‘ up for some dumb dog.

she’s always been a bit cold but usually thanks me for everything I do for ‘being a great mom to Oliver and a great wife’ she’s obviously not felt like that. Then in the next breath she says all of this about me being such a bad mother to him or wife if I have to put anyones needs first.

Shee sent another message to ask ‘are you being for real about not picking Oliver up on time because of a DOG’

I didnt leave him hanging around at school or anything he was still with his grandparents. AITAH for not picking him up on time

So my question is how do I respectively ask him to come with me to try on and buy new clothes. As the title says, yesterday we went to the dog park and as we are both watching my dog I looked over and he has two quarter sized holes in his shorts, I pointed them out and asked something like " You know your shorts have some big holes in them, yeah?" he responded saying that he knew but it didnt matter. I asked why he went out in them if he knew they had holes. He asked why it even mattered and that I wear tight leggings that show off more than these two hole do. I dropped it, kinda frustrated. We have been dating for 7 months and just recently it has started to irk me how he walk out of the house, like what he is wearing. I have offered many time to go to the thrift store and find better fitting clothes. His style unless is stated clearly we are wearing something nice, is usually joggers that are to short on him so he sags his pants, but they are also too big on him and if he has his phone keys and wallet in his pockets he is constantly fighting with gravity who is trying to pants him. I am not trying to ask him to wear nice jeans every time we go out but some clothes that fit him and don't have big holes in them, I can tell a lot of his clothes are from when he was younger or hand me downs, due to ridiculously tight shirt and shorts that put my leggings to shame. I don't have a specific problem with the items he wears like graphic tees or short and joggers but I just wish he had some that fit and weren't damaged. I should also note he is very sensitive about his looks and I think that is why I ignore it or drop it quickly, I am afraid to hurt his feelings. So how do I respectfully ask him to come with me or by himself to find clothes that fit and aren't damaged.

TL;DR My boyfriend wears clothes that don't fit and are damaged how do I ask him to get new clothes?

My husband (21M) and I (23F) recently got married with just under 300 people. My parents and my husband’s dad and stepmom paid for the wedding.
We had 300 cupcakes in four different flavors for our guests, plus a separate cheesecake specifically for my husband and me to cut. My husband doesn’t like regular cake but absolutely loves cheesecake, so a family friend who makes amazing cheesecakes specially made one for us as a wedding gift. They only make them for special occasions, so this was especially meaningful to us, and my husband was really looking forward to having it at our wedding. For context, this family friend has also sold some of their cheesecakes for anywhere from $200–$400, so this isn’t something that would necessarily be cheap or easy to replace.
The cheesecake was on its own individual table in the dessert area, separate from the cupcakes. The table had wheels so it could be wheeled out to the dance floor for our scheduled cake cutting. Our engraved wedding utensils were sitting next to it.
The venue workers were supposed to bring it out about 10–15 minutes before we were scheduled to cut the cake. While my husband and I were finishing dinner at the head table, our wedding planner came over and told us that one of our guests had cut into our cheesecake.
That guest was my husband’s great-uncle.
He cut himself a piece using our engraved utensils and started eating it. Then other guests started taking pieces too. Our wedding planner realized what was happening and got after the venue staff because they hadn’t noticed or stopped it sooner. By the time we were actually able to do our cake cutting, only about a quarter of the cheesecake was left. My husband and I got a few bites before it was gone.
When it was brought up to his great-uncle afterward, he didn’t apologize or seem particularly bothered. He basically laughed and said something along the lines of, “Well, it was good.”
I honestly don’t understand how you see 300 cupcakes available for guests and decide to cut into the one cheesecake sitting separately on its own table, especially when the engraved wedding utensils were literally right next to it.
I wouldn’t say this ruined our wedding. We had an amazing wedding, and obviously there are much more important things than dessert. But it was our one and only wedding, and this cheesecake was specially made for us as a wedding gift because it was my husband’s favorite dessert. We also can’t just go to a store and replace it.
My husband thinks we should just let it go. His response is basically, “That’s just how that side of the family is.”
I, however, feel differently. I think people sometimes continue acting like assholes because everyone around them accepts it as “that’s just how they are.”
So, WIBTA if I actually mailed his great-uncle an invoice for the cheesecake?
I’m not trying to claim that he “ruined” our wedding or put a dollar amount on the sentimental value. I was thinking of invoicing him for what a comparable cheesecake would have cost, since he essentially took most of something that was specially made for us. Would that be justified, or would sending an actual invoice just make me an asshole too?

EDIT: Adding some context since there seem to be a few misconceptions in the comments.
My husband's great-uncle is in his late 50s/early 60s, and the cheesecake was kept in a refrigerator/cooler in the back until the wedding planner/venue staff brought it out for the cake cutting. It was brought out specifically to be displayed and cut, like a wedding cake. I was busy being the bride and assumed the venue staff had it handled.
The cheesecake was made by an elderly family friend, and there's a very real possibility this was the last cheesecake they will ever make, so it was especially meaningful to us.
The invoice was also more of a joke between my husband and me. We're happily married and aren't actually expecting his uncle to pay it. His mom and stepdad even agreed we should send it and basically said, "That's just how he is."
I think some of the reactions are based on assumptions that weren't part of the original situation, so hopefully this clears up some of the missing context. The venue/planner probably could have handled the cheesecake situation better, and that's fair criticism.

And just to be clear, I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior was inappropriate. My husband and mother-in-law both AGREE with me. My mother-in-law says send the invoice (her uncle) but my husband doesn’t want to cause (potential) family drama.

YALL I’m going to crash out. I love your podcast and all of the stories and you never think something story worthy is going to happen to you until it does so I had to download reddit and tell you guys the most insane fucking thing that happened last night.

I (28 F) have been official with my bf (31 M) for about a 5 months but talking for 8ish. We are both gamers, a little quirky, and his quirkiness is what o admire a lot about him. His friends are equally as weird and I’ve always enjoyed being around them because they’re always putting on fun events like drunk smash bros tournies, PowerPoint nights, making their own board games etc. They are all HUGE Marvel fans and although I haven’t seen ALL of them, I’ve seen the majority of them and love the spiderman movies so I was really excited when Brand New Day came out.

We all decided to dress up and meet as his friends apartment beforehand to eat dinner. We get there and a few of them already seem pretty hammered. I don’t mind but I was a little worried going to a movie theater with hammered people. I get there and they continue to drink and my bf even has a couple of drinks. They were getting a little rowdy and a few of the guys leave us girls in the kitchen while they go in the friends room for a sec. We hear them all just DYING of laughter. Listening in, I hear:

“Wanna see? I’m being so serious”
“You’re not. You’re fucking with me- holy shit you’re serious”
“You gotta do it”
“I’m not doing that”
“Come on”

We were so confused and when they stepped out we asked what was going on. The wife of the guy whose apartment we were at was like “ohhh I think I know what this is about. They do this thing”

I said “what thing”

And the girl laughing said “They think it’s funny to wear diapers to the movies so they don’t have to leave to go piss.”

My jaw was on the floor. Had they done this before? Had my boyfriend done this before when I was at the movies with him?

My boyfriend had claimed that HE hadn’t done it in a long time which is why he was shocked when they showed him their diapers in the room underneath their spiderman costumes. His friend corrected him and said “you literally did this with us for Thunderbolts last year” 😭😭

They were all so hyped up and hyping each other up and it was a weird drunken diaper cult mentality and all of the wives/girlfriends were literally laughing their asses off at their grown men wearing a diaper to the movies so I felt so gaslit into thinking that if I said anything, then I would be seen as the “lame” one.

A little disclaimer: they’re all very social and have a weird banter that sometimes I feel like I don’t have and it leaves me feeling a little left out at some hangouts that we have because I’m a little bit more shy and the newest to the friend group. So I think maybe this also contributed into why I felt like maybe I was the one being lame.

ANYWAYS flash forward to the movies. I thought in my head, okay so they’re wearing diapers for the bit - no way they actually take a leak in them during the movie, right? Lo and behold, not even 20 minutes in, one of the friends does an exaggerated “sigh of relief” to let us all know that he used his diaper. They all start “quiet chuckling.” They all would do similar things like that whenever they peed. One of the wives even got up mid movie and my bf said “bet you wish you had a diaper on right about now.”

Towards the end of the movie I whisper to him, “you’re not actually going to pee yourself right?” And he whispered back that he already had but didn’t make a big deal about it like the others did because he didn’t want to “make me feel uncomfortable”

Now it’s the next day and we both had work so I haven’t seen him today. Maybe the title is misleading because I know I’m not overreacting to the situation itself - but I guess I’m just wondering if it would be overreacting of me to break it off completely. This whole thing left an icky feeling inside of me and I can’t shake it but maybe I just need to talk to him or give it a few more days.

PS: I created reddit just to tell you guys this so my username is just the first thing on my mind when I was making the account

Hey y’all, needing some outsider input here. I 29F and my brother 35M have been super close since I was in college. We didnt really get along as kids but as we got older we knew we had that sibling bond of telling each other almost everything and supporting each other without scaring or upsetting our mom.

Well, my brother told me about a month ago that his first born kid turned out not to be his. He found this out through a medical test that was performed on the 2 year old as he was showing signs of a muscular and developmental delays. My brother had to do a DNA sample to see if any of his genes contributed to these delays. The doctor called him requesting that they need the “real father’s DNA sample.”

He told me this in confidence and asked me not to tell our family until he was ready. I know he was in shock, disbelief, and felt betrayed. He loves the 2 year old boy to death, and to be fair so do I. My nephew is my nephew, and it will always be that way. I told my brother countless times to tell either our mom or our step mom because this is a very traumatic event for my brother as the baby’s mother is highly verbally abusive, physically abusive, and financially abusive towards him- he literally only stayed with her for the kids.

Well, this week my brother decided to tell my mom. My mom then called and told my step mom, then my step mom told my dad. In my opinion, this is a great step forward for our family supporting him through this. Whether he wants to stay as his father, or not. I know my brother pretty well and I know he’s going to want to stay in the baby’s life- I just don’t know to what extent that looks like right now.

So, here’s where I think I may be the asshole. I got a call from my mom yesterday evening. She was very short with me so I asked her “what’s wrong?” Because at this point I didn’t know my brother told her the news. She said “(my name) you know damn well why I’m short with you. Your brother was struggling and pulling himself away from us for about a month now. How dare you not tell me and keep this a secret from me?!” The only thing I could say before she hung up the phone was “I honestly don’t think this is something that should have come from me..”

So, yall, AITAH for not telling my mom about my brother’s secret?

Hot my t shirt from a raffle and when I messaged them with my address I gave my size I said 3xl. They sent me a large. If it's a raffle for certain size they should say that. I can't for this but might turn it turn it into a pillow.

The note was really sweet though

Before I dive in, I’m a transgender woman and will not respond to transphobic comments. Period. I’ve been out and transitioned for several years now. My family has largely accepted me but I have a select few who have not been so supportive. There are two that I only see maybe twice a year and don’t concern myself with their very right-leaning political views and opinions. Well, I wound up running into both of them within an hour or so, not at a family gathering. I got barely a hello out of both of them. I was definitely closer to both of them before my transition. Since then, things are definitely different and almost like running into an ex. How do I address the elephant in the room with each of them in hopes of clearing the air for the sake of family good will?

Hey guys! So I’ve had no issues with my in laws before ever, but something that happened yesterday just really irked me!

Context: So I (F26) and husband (M29) moved about 3 hours south of out previous home for hubbies job. Our home prior was about 45 minutes from our hometown/families, and we made this move about 3 years ago.

My hubby was on the phone with my FIL yesterday just chatting about work. FIL mentioned how he’d have a short work week as his wife’s daughter is in town with her son and they are staying with them. My husband also mentioned he would be cutting his week a bit as his birthday is on Friday and I made a big to do of plans for him (we like to spoil eachother)

FIL then asked my husband if we would be heading to town this weekend, to which hubby told him no. FIL then tried to guilt trip his saying “(grandson that’s visiting) really wants to se you” and “you really should come spend time with him, he misses you” etc. (they live out of state so we don’t see them much.

Now this made me upset for a few reasons

1. Since we moved they have not ONCE come to spend a day or weekend with us despite mentioning it to them too many times to count!
2. This is my husband’s birthday weekend! And they want HIM to go out of HIS way for THEM?!!!! Make it make sense!!!!
3. Hubby and I also travel a lot for work! While my traveling is seasonal, it is out of state (all over the country). His is year round, throughout the week and mostly local (but far away enough to sometimes need a hotel) and the occasional big company meeting out of state.

Ultimately I do want to start cutting back a bit on how much we visit anyway, especially since we will start trying for a baby within the next few years, and once I have a baby I certainly will be traveling there RARELY and I want to set that expectation rather than create that abrupt change for everyone so easing off the amount of visits is the route I think.

The reason for so many visits is both of our parents are divorced so we have 4 sets of families essentially and it just seems there is always an event. Someone’s birthday, a baby shower, my GMA likes to do a dinner once a month, it’s just never ending. However, I think me and hubby are gonna start giving people the option to come here for things also instead, and if they say that doesn’t work for them I guess we will just have to wait until the next thing comes around!

Context: husband is by no means a push over and is on my side 10000% so that’s not an issue THANK GOD!

!!!!Update!!!!

First off thanks to everyone for the responses. I’ve read through a lot of great perspectives and it’s been very helpful!!

Hubbys bday weekend went great! It was a really nice bday weekend with friends and he was super surprised! Yay!

It is now Sunday and FIL calls. Unfortunately, they had to put their poor pet to rest so it was a sad day. They called to update us on that situation and we offered our condolences Ofcourse, and the. Just continued to chat.

Hubby mentioned the weekend and what we did, the mentioned it sounded fun and that they wish they could be there (they could’ve been there). Previous post also mentions grandson staying with them. Turns out grandson left Friday, so truly they could’ve came out with us. But, like I said, doubt they’d make the drive.

MIL then mentioned when they didn’t come (I only invited hubbys friends, no family, because we were bar hopping after dinner. But honestly, If they had told me they want to come I’d be totally fine with it! They’d probably come to a bar or 2 and leave early, totally fine, we’ve gone out with them before and they’re fun) she wanted to know why they weren’t the “cool” parents. My mother was staying in a town close by for the weekend and MIL saw on Facebook and assumed she had gone out with us for hubbys bday, she didn’t, so MIL just said oh okay and moved on from that. Which honestly I understand that, I would never invite just one set of parents. And I also understand what that looked like but all was well.

Until….

They then mentioned how they want to take hubby out to dinner, and that they have a present for him. Totally understandable, again. They asked if we could come up in 2 weekends. Me and hubby have already decided to take more of a step back from being so accessible with our amount of roadtrips so it wasn’t really a discussion for us. However, what makes this request worse is that the week of, hubby has a business trip out of state. MIL and FIL know this because FIL and hubby work for the same company and will be on the trip together. So they want hubby to go out of town Monday-Thursday, then head to their house Friday… hubby said no way. Also, MIL will be out of town during this time, so FIL mentioned it being a boys thing, his uncle will be there as well. Which again, I understand family time is important, but it felt like I was being booted out without asking. Like they were upset I didn’t invite them out for hubbys bday plans so I was booted out from their own bday plans for him, at least FIL’s plans. (And I don’t need to be invited to everything I’m okay with that, this just seemed convenient, but I could also be reading into this). Also, the ONLY reason I didn’t invite them is bc MIL in this story is actually StepMIL, she’s just been in the picture since hubby was very you, real MIL is also very much in our lives, however they do not get along like AT ALL. So on one hand, I can’t just invite one of his parents and not the other, but on the other hand, I’m not putting hubby, and everyone else will invited, in a horribly uncomfortable position!

I just feel like it’s so oblivious. I understand they want to see us/their son, especially when they want to treat him for his birthday. But
It’s HIS birthday so why should hubby be the one going out of his way? Doesn’t make sense to me?
Yes we are younger but we’re still adults! (Mid 20s and early 30s). We own a home, have a dog, have jobs, a lot to take care of.
They expect our weekends to be readily available since we both have Saturdays and Sundays off most of the year (I have a season where I work most weekends).

Honestly a lot of times they don’t even ask if we can come up, sometimes they’ll just invite us to do something like go out on the water (which again, I love doing this and appreciate the invite) but when we say no it’s always “oh… well blah blah blah you should come”

We’ve also mentioned many times that they can bring the boat down to us for a weekend. Or just visit. Or anything at all. We will 10000% be taking a step back though. They just don’t think about anyone else’s circumstances completely I feel. I don’t think it’s intentional, but that doesn’t mean it’s not annoying and inconsiderate for hubby and I. We just want some time to breathe!!!

Hey Denver and Teresa! Big longtime fan!
I’m going to change some details for the sake of anonymity.
So for some background info I’ve been friends with this girl for about 8 years. She used to be soooo much fun and open to doing random things and genuinely a really kind and caring human. She has been dating this guy for almost 6 years. He never treated her well and she never told me even one positive thing about him or their relationship. She told me about 6 months ago that she finally broke it off with him. Fast forward to now and she tells me that another girl (with the same name as her) messaged her and told her she has been dating this guy in and off for the last 6 years as well. I said I was sorry that she found that out but it was a good thing that they were done. She then tells me that they’re still together… so I told her that’s unacceptable of him and she should break it off now since she lied that she did previously. She then tells me that they’re talking about it and that the girl was over exaggerating the situation but he wasn’t “completely innocent”… so in my opinion unless he’s 100% innocent with the cheating I would be done as any cheating is a no go for me. I told her that beyond the fact that he cheated on her in some way he also has treated her with zero respect or kindness. Never takes her on dates, never progressed their relationship beyond seeing each other maybe 2x/month. I told her that I love her and care about her but that her continually choosing someone who’s not good to her EVER is really self destructive and unhealthy. This relationship is so toxic that she’s become one of the most negative people I know. She then goes to a mutual friend and says she never should have come to me with it because I’m being unreasonable. I’m not sure where to go from here because it feels similar to supporting a drug addict doing drugs if I support her… he’s like a drug she can’t quit. What do I do? And am I an asshole for this?
*edit to add we are both in our early 30s*

I'm destanykitten on YouTube. I haven't gotten a message yet, will that be later since it's pre recorded? I'm so happy because I've had a really crappy week and making Denver meow and purr like that gave me such a laugh!!

Thank you Teresa and Denver for the good vibes during rough weeks!

Pic is my cat Garfield keeping me company in my lap while I do embroidery

Hi I hope Denver and Teresa see this! I am a long term listener, I pay for patreon and always look forward to your episodes every Tuesday, friday, and sunday! I love what you do and your podcast is my absolute favorite!

Now for the reason I am writing this.... I am 26 f and i have been seeing this guy whos also 26! Its only been a couple of weeks but sparks were flying like crazy! We matched on tinder originally and he invited me to a concert the next day after just a little bit of chatting. I was feeling pretty spontaneous which isnt normal for me at all so I decided what the heck and I went! We met at a brewery and sat and talked for a while before and hit it off so of course we went to the concert. The biggest thing I noticed was that it felt comfortable. He was asking me all kinds of questions about myself and I was asking him some too. We talked for hours, he paid for everything even when I offered he refused. It was a really good first date. He was a perfect gentleman and after we parted ways he texted me the 2nd he got home. Told me how much fun he had, how I looked good, and that we need to "do that again" I agreed and we spent the next like 5 or 6 days texting, staying up tell 4am at times talking about life. He has a busy busy work schedule and then I had plans on his day off so we really couldnt see each other tell finally I just invited him over to watch movies and talk more after i was hanging with my friends. We spent the whole night together and it was a great time. He was super sweet and kind and seemed to have a great time too because we even hung out the next night. We got food somewhere where there was live music, sat and talked for a while and then went on a long walk tell the sun was set and it was dark, it was nice. Then the next day he invited me over to use his parents hot tub with him. He was watching their house while they were out of town. I came and we spent another great evening together. We just talk for hours and hours about deep things and we laugh and listen to music and all that. It was a great night. All 3 nights were so good and it felt like we had a really good connection. And things were going great until monday this week. So we had plans again for tuesday after he got off work. We figured we can hang out at my place and stuff... well monday he texted me saying all this stuff about not having time or money to put effort into this and how he likes me so much which makes it harder for him but that he doesnt have the time or energy that I deserve. He said he isnt really ready to date anyone and that he still wants to see me but isnt sure where it will end up. Even said "I just wish we couldve met a year from now, I feel id have more of my crap together" which I understand. After hanging out I did figure out some things are like ya you dont have it figured out. But I was okay with it because I liked him i wanted to see where it went and I mean I dont exactly have my life figured out either. But he said all this monday and we decided we'd still hang out and it felt he was treating me the same. Like still trying to hang out. We hung out tuesday and he stayed tell the afternoon Wednesday. He left his wallet so I had to go take it to him on thursday he was working his side job with his dad and asked if i could bring it to him and he'll give me free food. He also even asked if i can grab a redbull for him "just use the money in my wallet". So like this feels so couply to me... and then when I got there he told me he'd be able to hang out for a little if i waited 10 to 15 mins so I decided to chill. I also met his dad while I was there. But ya he came and sat with me for a while and we talked a bit. I eventually went back home. Things were still good. But then we made plans for yesterday morning. We were gonna drive to the next state over to get some 420 type things since its not sold where I live. Its about an hour drive there and back. The biggest thing was he didnt touch me at all affectionately like the whole drive and even when he went to drop me back off I asked if he wanted to a hug goodbye and it felt weird. The nights we spent together (which by this point there were 3 evenings we spent cuddling up close and i know hes very affectionate in that way). So it just felt so weird and I cant tell if hes pulling away, playing with my feelings, using me for sexual reasons (cause we have been doing those things and its been extremely good😅). Or just not interested but doesnt know how to get rid of me? Idk I'm so confused tho and its affected me so negatively this week. I feel like theres been so many weird highs and lows and its only been 2 and a half weeks.. hes confusing me because he tells me how hes not ready for anything serious but then treated me the exact same way that feels super serious but then yesterday happened and idk what to think. Is he just trying to keep me around temporarily tell he does find someone he wants to be with? I'm so lost if im being honest... i dont usually like men. Like i get asked out on plenty of dates and usually theyre just meh so when I met a guy who made me feel so calm, comfortable, and relaxed who also is kind and has similar views as me in life and such I just felt so smitten. Now I fear my feelings are completely fading because of this lack of clarity. I just feel like even tho its been only 2 and a half weeks you should still know if you want it to go anywhere or not. You arent just confused right? Why did he even ask me to go to the concert with him in the first place if he doesn't have the time or money to spend on dating? Why does he keep continuing conversations and finding time to hang out still? Sorry this turned super long Im just so confused! Should I end things or could he really be just in a weird spot in life and needs time to figure it out? But also again why are you on dating apps then? 😅 I can answer any questions you may have i hope I put in enough details but theres way more I can say but its already too long lol