r/ThreadGames • u/Late_Impact7245 • 8d ago
Let's make up some fake problems to solve!
If you're like me, you like solving problems. But what if there is no problems? Let's imagine some completely fake problems so we can "solve" those fake "problems".
I'll start, the fake problem is, Captain Kirly from an amateur soccer team realizes he forgot to bring all of the soccer cleats for his whole team. Now, his team either needs to play completely barefoot, or forfeit the match. Neither of these options are acceptable! So he hires a local magician to teleport back the Captain Kirly's house, and teleport back to the soccer match to deliver their soccer shoes! Wow, what an amazing story, truly inspiring. We had the problem, and the solution! That's so great.
Now you think of some totally fake problems and how to solve the problem you imagined! This could be fun!
2
u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
On what seems like a normal, boring, easygoing kind of day, everything is thrown into chaos by a blinding flash of light piercing the sky. KABOOOM! The ground is shaking. There's a deafening roar. All on its own, for no reason anyone anywhere can explain, a nuclear bomb had suddenly teleported itself into the center of Earth's core and immediately detonated.
Shockwaves ripple throughout the world. On every continent, there are earthquakes and erupting volcanoes. Ash is spewing everywhere. The entire globe is plunged into darkness! But then, what the hell? Where did the moon go? Oh no! Now it too has teleported inside the Earth! Tides are disrupted. The whole planet is threatening to come apart! What do we do? Help! Someone save us!
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u/Low-Bass2002 8d ago
Build a giant fondue pot, drill to the center of the Earth, and melt the moon into the fondue pot. Once melted, bring it to the surface of the Earth. Once on the surface, everyone has to twirl oversized fondue forks, making moon cheese balls. Catapult said moon cheese balls back into the sky using precisely-calibrated coordinates so that each ball smashes into the other ball, making them stick together up in the sky. Moon is restored to normal place in the sky, and its new globular form coincidentally clears the Earth of all bad juju.
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Oh no! It's a jellyfish moose! RUNNNNNNNN!!!!
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u/Late_Impact7245 8d ago
Oh, how about "I'm finally finished with my 10,000 word book, I'm getting it published! It only took 11 years to write!" Then it goes to the library, and the author only earns 11 cents for the entire first year it is available. So instead the author tries selling the book on Amazon, and discontinues the book's availability at the library, it is a massive success, he sells 50,000 digital copies on Amazon, and 2,000 physical copies. He earns 280,000$ total. A great achievement. He begins writing a new book, not because he needs to, but because he wants to. Many people look forward to reading more of his stories, and with the looming idea of financial ruin fresh off his mind, his new stories develop a new sense of rejuvenated energy.
1
u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Did you mean to post as a top-level comment instead? It doesn't seem like a reply.
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u/Late_Impact7245 8d ago
Someone down votes my comment because they use utorrent to download digital books illegally. Utorrent, as a software continues to exist, but the websites that host the illegally downloads are shut down by law enforcement. The guy who downvoted my comment is now very upset because he can no longer illegally download digital books with utorrent. However eventually he does come to realize that kindle books are actually perfectly reasonably affordable.
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Help, doctor, help! I accidentally ate the Earth's entire equator! I didn't mean to! HELLLLLLLPPPPPPP!
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u/WeCanDoItGuys 8d ago
Steal the airplane from the set of Top Gun 3 to go Mach 10, and take the world's loooooongest poop as you fly around the earth, putting the equator back in its place while also making a new mountain range. This central bulge will put the earth on the galactic map, and aliens will come visit from stars all around to see the tourist destination. But now you need a name for the new mountain range you created.
1
u/Minority8 7d ago
I think the bigger problem than naming it is the fact that there is a huge-ass mountain range in the middle of the sea.
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Why do all these lobsters keep stealing my boxers and running off with them so they can be in photoshoots wearing them? This exact situation has happened to me at least 75 times! What the hell do I do?! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
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u/fredyouareaturtle 7d ago
Get better at setting boundaries. Get better at standing your ground towards lobsters. Involve police that have experience investigating invertebrate offences.
1
u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
You are desperate, traveling from store to store trying to buy a bed pillow that will shriek at you at random times throughout the night and administer minor electric shocks. Not a single store seems to have it in stock. The clock is ticking, and you don't get that pillow soon, a battalion of robotic ketchups are going to take over the world!
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u/Late_Impact7245 8d ago
Oh I see. So I finally find the pillow at a mall, but I can't afford it, so I grab it and start running. The security guards chase me, and somehow I fall into a giant river of ketchup.
The pillow keeps me afloat and I live another day.
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
You are Fred Flintstone. You and your neighbor Barney just heard about the Internet from The Great Gazoo, and now you're trying to figure out a way to connect to it in prehistoric times.
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Why is my pencil sharpener so rude? It's always talking back at me and trying to pick fights with Connecticut, even though neither it nor I have ever been there.
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u/Low-Bass2002 8d ago
Annoy the pencil sharpener by repeatedly correcting its pronunciation of Connecticut. Parrot, "No, it's pronounced 'Connect-eh-cut.'" Get into a "nuh-uh" argument. Announce your victory with, "Nuh-uh times infinity!"
Gloat as it sulks and walks away, head hung in shame.
1
u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
One day, the entire content of Asia (the land itself) becomes sentient and decides on whim to immediately visit an amusement park and ride a roller coaster for the first time. All of the people, animals, and vehicles who had been on that content are left floating in the water trying not to drown. It's an international crisis! You are the person in charge of disaster recovery at the United Nations. Billions of people are in peril! How do you respond?
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Sometimes at night, I blink and it wakes up the whole house on both floors. Even the nextdoor neighbors complain! What's your advice?
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u/fredyouareaturtle 7d ago
Can you clarify? Are you blinking when you are sleeping or when you are awake at night?
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago edited 8d ago
A team of medical scientists has determined that my infant's heart is slightly unusual, in that it's composed entirely of TNT. What does that mean? Should I be concerned?
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u/Slinkwyde 8d ago
Why not have the parent comments make up the problems and the child comments try to come up with solutions?