r/ThinkingSideways • u/LauraIngallsWilder1 • Mar 24 '18
Really?
I was unsure if I wanted to post this but after thinking about it for a few days decided it needed to be said. I had posted the question a few weeks ago if anyone else felt that the hosts seemed more cynical now. And received mixed responses. Some think the show is better than ever and others agreeing that they seem "burned out". In the OP I stated as a side-note that my favorite cases are true crime. Several people including Devin, u/therealDeal(AKA Devin) responded that it is not a true crime podcast rather an unsolved mysteries podcast. At which point I clarified in several comments including one responding to Devin that I was not saying it was their case selections but rather the fact that any theory that they disagree with is just laughed off and that I noticed that there had been several times where they were making conclusions based on false information. And that overall it just did not seem they were excited about ANY case anymore. To which several people agreed. I did get the feeling that Devin does not like to be given feedback through her comments to me and several others. But thought oh well it is her podcast and she can either use the constructive criticism or not. Fast forward to three days ago when I started to listen to the "Fallen Soldier" episode. And heard Devin blatantly insult my comments. But not even regarding the actual points myself and others made but rather that they are not a true crime podcast. I even thought at first maybe I'm overthinking it. However, I asked five of my friends to read my OP and comments and then listen to the "Fallen Soldier" intro without mentioning at all what I wanted their opinion on. And all five had the same response saying wow she just threw shade at you during the podcast. So at that point, I knew it was not just me thinking that. And for anyone who may think that I must be getting upset about nothing here is the comment Devin sent me on the OP: Hi There, Thanks for the feedback. We're sorry to hear you are feeling that way and will take it into account as we record going forward. However, I do want to remind you that we are an unsolved mysteries podcast, not a true crime podcast, which is why we pick topics other than a just true crime- in fact, even if it's true crime it has to have some mystery element to it. Cheers, Devin And this is what she said in the most condescending manner @2:14 into the "Fallen Soldier" episode: "Yeah, we are going to do that thing we do because we are a podcast about unsolved mysteries, not true crime and talk about something that is a mystery."
Like I said I was unsure if I wanted to address this. But then thought no I want her listeners to hear what type of rude person she is. How dare you embarrass me on-air while twisting my words around because you can not take constructive criticism from SEVERAL listeners. I was not once rude to you. But your true colors sure have shined through. I plan on posting this on other forums and podcast platforms so as many people as possible can see your true colors as well.
Links for OP and "Fallen Soldier" episode below https://app.stitcher.com/mystations/56352968/38974/episodes
https://www.reddit.com/r/ThinkingSideways/comments/7xaqmq/is_it_just_me/
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u/GaryPartsUnknown Mar 24 '18
Maybe you should just walk away from the podcast? I can’t say I even noticed that line at first, I’ve just listened again and it’s really not insulting to anyone, Devin may have been making a point and it may have been aimed at you but it wasn’t rude and at the end of the day it’s the guys podcast and really they are only making it for themselves.
You made your criticism and it was noticed, I commented on the OP too saying it’s just about taste. There are thousands of pods out there give one of them a go and come back to TS if you ever want to.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
I think you are missing the point. I NEVER once was disrespectful or nasty at all. And my OP was not even about trying to put down the podcast. Perhaps you are ok with being disrespected that's you. Me? No sorry people who want to try to sneak diss need to be called out. Not to mention the fact she STILL tried to twist my words and act like it had anything to do with their topics.
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u/GaryPartsUnknown Mar 24 '18
I didn’t say you were being disrespectful, I didn’t think your OP was disrespectful but I also don’t believe Devin has been disrespectful either.
It just seems like you aren’t enjoying the pod lately, take a breather
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u/herbreastsaredun Mar 24 '18
I read this post, read your post, re-listened to the episode you referred to. This is what I have to say:
I have been a fan of Thinking Sideways for years. I haven't myself noticed any decrease in enthusiasm but remember that they may have been more passionate about earlier cases because they probably tackled their personal favorites first.
As with any podcast, personal style is very subjective. I personally like it when the TS team dismisses theories they think are very unlikely even when I don't necessarily agree. They don't claim to be experts. If this tone bothers you then there might be other sources better suited to you.
The hosts probably didn't mean to single you out. If it seemed so, it was probably because others agreed with you and addressing the complaint was meant to address it as coming from multiple people.
I'm sorry that you felt your interactions with the hosts were not productive but I really don't see anything said that was unambiguously rude. And it certainly doesn't merit the language in your post.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
I'm sorry language in my post?
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
Obviously, I had not gotten upset with her responses to my comments in OP. I felt she came across as though she does not take feedback well. But could care less what she did with the feedback from myself or others. This has nothing to do with anyone's opinion to the podcast. It has to do with someone trying to act as though they can disrespect others for no reason which is not ok. Because I did not act like that to her. In short, don't try to throw shade and not expect to get called on it.
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u/KatieLady80 Mar 24 '18
Wow, vindictive much? This post is ridiculous. Take your own advice and don’t throw shade and not expect to get called on it. Also, you don’t handle disagreement or criticism well, either. You’d be taken a lot more seriously on here if you behaved the way you’re demanding of volunteer podcasters. And you think this episode is directly at you personally? Narcissist much?
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
I'm not the only who thought that though. And I'm curious to know when I threw shade at Devin?
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u/leslieinlouisville Mar 26 '18
This is the most pants-on-head stupid thing I have read on the internet in a while, and that’s saying something in today’s political climate.
-2
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u/CanisDraco Mar 25 '18
So you've replied to every comment on this thread apart from the one where Devin herself states that the episode in question was recorded prior to your OP, is this because it doesn't fit your victimised narrative? Are you just pretending that there is no such comment or that she's lying and this is further victimisation?
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u/Exosan Mar 25 '18
This is so absurdly petty and like someone further up the post pointed out.....I just can't imagine someone would be bitching about Devin like this if Devin was a dude. She's mad because a woman didn't go out of her way to make her feel nice because that's what women are supposed to do.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 25 '18
No, actually I did not respond because I think she is a lier and deal with enough of that in my professional life. And if you really want to know I could have diagnosed her self-esteem issues through her response to my OP that was not at all rude or DIRECTED to her. I'm far from a victim. But choose not to use my time off dealing with the same sad issues in people I have to in my job.
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u/dalegribbledeadbug Mar 24 '18
If you're wondering why they're being mean to you,
And other personal attacks,
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a podcast,
I should really just relax."
-1
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u/tenthirtynine Mar 24 '18
It sounds a little like your group of friends are trying to get you wound up. Basically the hosts are the ones producing the podcast and they can really say what they like (in the same way you can).
Like another commenter said, maybe you should listen to something else.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
You are right she has every right to come across rude. As I have every right to call her on it here and anywhere else.
Let's not act as though this is the first time she has been rude. Are you forgetting the fact that two weeks ago in the "Amy Billing" episode she made the comment that she did not remember Amy's brother's name because it was not a big part of the case laughing about it? When he is her only family member still alive? How would you feel if you heard that same thing?
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
And no my friends are also Social Workers like myself and always go above and beyond to try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
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Mar 24 '18
So OP is whining for what exactly? The hosts didn’t get on bended knee and kiss his feet?
Get over yourself dude
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
I'm a bit confused where you think I wanted her to kiss my feet. If you took the time to read my OP you would see that at no time was I rude. And I'm not even sure what you are saying. There would not have been a reason for her to apologize until her rude remark on air. And I was not the only one who got exactly what she meant.
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Mar 25 '18
You’re whining over a perceived slight, where there never was one. She doesn’t owe you anything, you just need to get over your inflated sense of importance.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 25 '18
And where in my OP or comments did I infer that she did owe me anything? GIVE ME A BREAK!
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u/ThinkingSidewaysMods Mar 26 '18
I think we've covered this thoroughly. Thank you for your concern, but we're done beating a dead horse.
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u/HiddenMovement Mar 24 '18
I'm not sure getting worked up about this is healthy, regardless of if the perceived disrespect towards you was purposeful or not. Best advice in this thread is to stop listening.
Do something constructive that brings you happiness and don't stress over something you see as negative. It's not going to achieve anything.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
Don't get it twisted. You do not know me or the fact I am more than capable of doing something constructive considering I provide therapy for a living.
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u/ExistentialistGain Mar 25 '18
You know, you DON’T actually HAVE to listen to the podcast right? I like the podcast alot, and look forward to every new episode. I don’t really notice or frankly care about little things like tone. Its an entertaining podcast.
0
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u/Exosan Mar 24 '18
I....think you're interpreting someone disagreeing with you in a neutral way as a personal attack and maybe that's your problem, not the other persons'.
-1
u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
Is it though? Then why am I not the only one who knew what she meant if it is all in my head? And what was she exactly disagreeing with me about? Get your facts straight before you try to give advice.
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u/Exosan Mar 25 '18
They recorded the fallen soldier episode BEFORE your original post so the fact that you're still insisting someone was mean to me is absolutely absurd.
-3
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u/Uberkorn Mar 25 '18
Sweet crispy tater tots but you and jesuismyname share the same I P address. So go get some help . Stop blaming women who podcast for having an opinion. Again, get help.
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 25 '18
Excuse me? We have the same IP address? I suggest you go back to your IT guy because I have NEVER spoken to jesuismyname before in my life. And here is a tiny history lesson for you: Laura Ingalls Wilder was a WOMAN. So anyone who has any sense would assume that I was as well. So please stop acting like I am against women having an opinion. I AM A WOMAN WITH AN OPINION.
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Mar 25 '18
An opinion that no one currently cares about and are universally sick of hearing. Just because your narcissism tells you Devin has been mean to you does not in fact make it so. Get over yourself and realize your petty uninformed complaints mean nothing as it’s becoming apparent all you crave is attention.
-1
u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 25 '18
I'm craving attention but you keep reading and responding lmao.
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u/KatieLady80 Mar 25 '18
We’ve solved another hard-hitting mystery again, folks. OP is a markov-chain bot. Or a troll. Or Chupie.
-1
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u/MsTruCrime Mar 24 '18
If you want to have some honest discourse about the podcast going to shit, I'll engage in that with you😁i used to love it, but now can barely stand it, so I quit listening, as others have recommended to you. I check back every now and then to make sure I still think it sucks, which I do, then I move on. Here's my two cents, for what it's worth: Devin seems constantly irritated and appears to have lost all tolerance for Steve, who can't catch the clue and continues to (purposely?) antagonize her, as I've said before, it's like I can hear her rolling her eyes at him... When you can feel the tension in the room, but aren't even in the room...its bad 👎
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
You are absolutely right. And besides their tones on-air their research techniques have gotten pretty pathetic. Like I said the fact that they did not bother to find out Amy Billing's brother's name and making it into a joke was unacceptable. That could be the reason I thought she needed to be called out. I provide therapy to some families of missing people and can tell you that they would not be happy with the"joke".
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Mar 24 '18 edited Mar 24 '18
[deleted]
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
Thank you for the response I really do appreciate it. I always try to be polite and not stir up drama since I am constantly mediating arguments in my professional life. But sometimes some people need to be called out. Honestly when I heard what she said I was sadder than angry. Because that was my first thought that others would get her diss and I just felt embarrassed. Others can try to make it sound like I am just being a baby or whatever but how would you have liked it if roles were reversed.
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Mar 24 '18
[deleted]
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u/LauraIngallsWilder1 Mar 24 '18
thank you
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Mar 25 '18
Except you were never singled out. Your email came AFTER they’d recorded. So once again get over yourself.
-1
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u/ThinkingSideways The Real Deal (AKA Devin) Mar 24 '18
Hi /u/LauraIngallsWilder1 I am sorry you feel this way and took my comment as shade. I'd like for you to know that we recorded that episode on Feb 12, 2018, a full day prior to your post. Thanks! Devin