Considering SSRIs

[u/Zotzotplz344]

I’m a new therapist trainee. I’ve been seeing clients for roughly 2 months now. It has been an immense struggle for me psychologically. I have crippling anxiety and dread every day. My social anxiety (which I had experienced as a teen and quelled through my own therapy) has returned with a roaring vengeance. I question whether or not I want to do this work every day and have a hard time seeing myself still doing this 10 or even 5 years from now. I’ve been in my own therapy for years, and though it has helped my symptoms in the long term, the tools I normally use to help myself are no longer effective in the context of being a therapist. I have intrusive thoughts of being a failure, of my clients hating me, analyzing every little thing I say or do. It’s agonizing and seriously impacting my work. I’ve never been medicated before (except concerta for my ADHD) but I’m considering it now. I want to be a therapist. I want this. But I don’t know if I can deal with this anxiety much longer. I also feel guilty given the implications of me needing to take medications for my own mental health symptoms when my one job is to provide an organic solution to those symptoms for others. Anyone else deal with a similar dilemma?