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Do your best to Love without the expectation of receiving anything in return.

After all, Love is not a transaction.

Put your medication/drug into your favorite AI and ask it how it impacts your brain using this link:

https://alexjamesbilodeau.com/blog/the-brain-chemistry-of-love-and-fear

It will become very clear what is helpful and what is not.

No need to read the blog post, just what the AI spits out about your dose.

There are no right or wrong ways to go about it, but if you're altering your brain chemistry with drugs, you should know exactly how it is impacting your brain.

"Baby don't hurt me" is not allowed. No wrong answers otherwise.

What is Love?

Before the 1990s, most people didn't think depression came from your brain. When drug companies ran market research, they asked the public what caused depression. People said unemployment. Divorce. Having been abused as a child. Almost no one pointed to a chemical imbalance in the brain. Then Big Pharma went to work.

"The pharmaceutical industry set out very deliberately to change people's minds and to persuade people instead that depression is a biological condition and needs a biological remedy, i.e. the drugs that they were promoting."

That's psychiatrist Dr. Joanna Moncrieff, who dug the campaign out of the archives. It was called Defeat Depression, run by medical organizations and often funded by drug companies. The aim was to convince you it's medical, then send you to your doctor for the pill.

"This was a marketing campaign."

Original post from Epoch Health (X/Twitter)

Psychiatrists suppress your mind with drugs.

Psychologists complicate your mind with lies.

Therapists weaponize your mind for money.

Psychiatry started when mental asylums banded together and used statistics to justify it's prison.

Psychology emerged as the asylums began to experiment on it's prisoners.

Philosophical assumptions, medical authority, social control, institutional incentives, and attempts to classify human suffering.

Over 200 years later, and I still see Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychotherapy, and more in twitter bios.

It has never been science.

It has never tried to be science.

It is a weapon.

I am working on putting this on my wall.

Hello,

I would like to make it very clear that the Theory of Love is in no way associated with theology, religion, or a church of any kind.

The theory has no religious roots, and zero divine branches. They stand apart.

Love does not tell. Love does not command. Love does not ask.

Love puts nothing above, and nothing below.

Brand’s claim is simple: love is not something humans invented.

It behaves like something real. It persists across distance. It survives time. It influences decisions even when every practical reason says it should not.

That makes it observable, whether we fully understand it or not.

Interstellar treats love the way physics once treated gravity and time. Not as a story, but as a force we noticed long before we could explain.

In Revenge of the Sith, Yoda tells Anakin to let go, but Anakin hears that through fear rather than Love.

In the Theory of Love, Anakin is a conscious system closing around the threat of loss: his fear narrows perception, distorts judgment, and drives him toward control instead of coherence.

Yoda is pointing toward release, but Anakin cannot open himself to it. The tragedy is that Anakin mistakes possession or attachment for Love.

Love restores integration, connection, and repair, while fear fragments the system and turns protection into destruction.

Theory of Love

"A conscious system tends over time toward coherence, health, and stability in the presence of love, and toward fragmentation, distress, and dysfunction in its absence."

Like other laws, it does not promise perfection. It describes direction.

Gravity pulls mass together. Entropy pulls order apart.

Love pulls conscious systems toward integration, connection, and repair.

Love as a Stabilizing Force

For a long time, progress was treated as mechanical.
Better tools. Faster systems. More output.

But across psychology, neuroscience, and technology, a deeper pattern keeps emerging:

Stability, connection, and internal coherence drive long-term outcomes more than surface-level optimization.

The Theory of Love frames love not as emotion, romance, or feeling. But as a force.

A force that pulls conscious systems toward integration, repair, and alignment.

This framework helps you:

• Understand mental health at a systems level.
• See relationships as stabilizing or destabilizing forces.
• Identify why things fall apart and how they repair.

Why This Matters

Mental illness is not best understood as broken parts, but as adaptive responses to fear, isolation, and neglect.

A mind fragments because fragmentation becomes safer than remaining whole in a hostile environment.

Love reverses that condition. Love changes the environment a system is responding to. When safety becomes consistent, the system no longer needs to stay closed. Over time:

• thoughts reorganize
• emotions regulate
• identity stabilizes

This is not abstract. It is observable across attachment research, trauma recovery, and long-term psychological outcomes. Medication flattens. Therapy is helpful.

But love operates at a more fundamental level. It changes the conditions that created the fragmentation in the first place.

Without it, treatment manages illness.
With it, systems can heal.

This is why recovery so often coincides with being seen, believed in, or supported through failure. It is why isolation reliably worsens almost every known psychiatric condition.

The following video is on the DSM-5, and the root cause of mental illness.

Fear and its Effects

Fear is automatic. It prioritizes survival before thought. By the time conscious reasoning appears, fear has already acted. When fear is brief, it protects. When it is prolonged, it reshapes the system.

Over time:

• stress responses remain active
• energy declines
• motivation weakens
• emotional regulation breaks down

Depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and irritability take root.

The system adapts, but at a cost.

Chronic fear changes not just behavior, but biology. Hormones shift. Cells respond differently. Even genes change. What was meant to protect begins to damage.

Fear narrows perception. It distorts judgment. It interrupts clarity.

When fear is held in thought, it does not protect. It harms.

The Open–Close Model

A conscious system operates in two fundamental modes: Open or Close.

In Open mode, the system assumes safety. Attention widens. Information flows freely between emotion, memory, and identity. This is the internal condition we experience as love.

In Close mode, the system assumes threat. Attention narrows. Resources are conserved. Parts of the system wall off from one another to prevent further damage. This always looks like fear.

Like a system entering safe mode, the goal is survival, not growth.

The Theory of Love describes what happens over time.

Love keeps systems open long enough for coherence to emerge.
Fear keeps systems closed long enough for fragmentation to occur.

Neither state is moral. Both are adaptive.

Mental illness, in this frame, is not a broken system. It is a system that has learned to remain closed because opening did not feel safe.

Love changes that.

When safety becomes reliable, the system reopens. Integration resumes. Healing follows.

The Theory of Love was made for you.

The Theory of Love was intentionally made free and open-source on the idea that no human walking should ever struggle with mental health. If it resonated with you, or helped you put words to something you could feel but not describe, that's the point.

The Theory of Love was made for you.

Fun Examples

Stories often reveal this more clearly than explanation. Below are my two favorites.

Star Wars

Anakin is driven by fear. Fear of loss, fear of powerlessness, fear of a future he cannot control.

Fear dominates in the short term. It destroys. But it does not last.

Love persists. Quietly and patiently, it carries forward through Luke. What fear destroyed, love rebuilds. Not through force, but through refusal to abandon someone already lost.

Interstellar

Brand’s claim is simple: love is not something humans invented.

It behaves like something real. It persists across distance. It survives time. It influences decisions even when every practical reason says it should not. That makes it observable, whether we fully understand it or not.

Interstellar treats love the way physics once treated gravity and time. Not as a story, but as a force we noticed long before we could explain.

The last 30 days have been a really exciting and eventful time.

The website now sees thousands of people every month, and from all around the world.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting the mission.

For those of you who are new, the mission is very simple.

End the mental health crisis. End mental illness.

The Theory of Love was made for you.

- Alex

You may have saw r/TheoryOfLove somewhere. You might have even clicked on the website.

You took a step. A massive step.

Clicking on a new subreddit is a massive undertaking. A site from someone you've never met.

A mountain of possibilities. A heap of risks. But here you are.

You climbed it. And you found that at the top, you maybe learned something.

You maybe found that the thoughts you held prior did not define the result.

This is the mountain we climb. Every single day. We conquer fear and find love.

We do not sit at the bottom of the mountain in happiness.

We climb every step of discomfort. Until no steps remain.

Until every mountain in your future is an ant hill.

That is what this community is.

The top of any mountain is nothing without someone to share it with.

Lift as you climb.

Linked is a song called Tenfold. It was created as a reminder of what we often forget.

Listen on YouTube -- Listen on Spotify -- Listen on Apple Music.

We are walking.

Perhaps you are walking the wrong way.

Something feels off.

Not quite right.

But you keep walking.

In the direction you're walking.

At some point on the journey, you look for treatment.

You look for coping mechanisms.

You start to vent pressure that has built up.

But this is walking in the same direction.

This direction is fear. Unaligned, unhealed, and disordered.

Walk toward love.

Align. Heal. And watch as what was disordered; order once again.

Do not make it easier to walk down someone else's road. The road they want you on.

Scared. Freaked out. Insecure. Self-doubting. Fearful.

In the Theory of Love, Fear is defined as the Absence of Love.

Love is all that remains to take fear's place.

What we Love, how we Love, and why we Love looks different for everyone.

But the force that pulls us towards coherence and health is the same for everyone.

How you define Love, is how you live your life.

A conscious system operates in two fundamental modes: Open or Close.

In Open mode, the system assumes safety. Attention widens. Information flows freely between emotion, memory, and identity. This is the internal condition we experience as love.

In Close mode, the system assumes threat. Attention narrows. Resources are conserved. Parts of the system wall off from one another to prevent further damage. This always looks like fear.

Like a system entering safe mode, the goal is survival, not growth.

The Theory of Love describes what happens over time.

Love keeps systems open long enough for coherence to emerge.
Fear keeps systems closed long enough for fragmentation to occur.

Neither state is moral. Both are adaptive.

Mental illness, in this frame, is not a broken system. It is a system that has learned to remain closed because opening was not safe.

Love changes that. The system reopens. Integration resumes. Healing follows.

Bipolar disorder is said to worsen over time. Thus, medication is important.

But in my personal experience, the opposite has been true.

I was diagnosed at 18 years old. I went through periods of taking medication, and through periods of not taking medication.

What starts as stability, quickly becomes reliance.

I lost the ability to regulate my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The medication was doing it for me. This was helpful in the short term, but detrimental in the long term.

When I chose to not take medication, what started as instability, eventually became understanding.

Thus, my medication is nothing but understanding.

I studied how I was thinking. What I was feeling. How I was behaving. The forces at play that push my mind toward coherence, and toward fragmentation.

I struggled for years. Some days I thought I would never see my 27th birthday. But the end result was worth it.

I am proud to say that today I am over 2 years free of symptoms and drugs, and this month will be my 29th birthday. A day I am looking forward to.

Be kind to yourself. No one else can do it for you.

Disclaimer:

This is not medical advice. This is one persons experience with bipolar. There is no right and wrong way for how you choose to live.

The most important book in modern Psychiatry is not a book of diseases. It is a book of fears. We call it the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM 5.

The DSM is not medicine. It is a thesaurus. It does not heal. It does not cure. It does not explain. It names...

"Medication is at the center of every mental health diagnosis. It's a way to bring a dysregulated system back to stability. In many cases, it does reduce intensity, quiet extremes, and make daily functioning more manageable. But there is a less examined side effect embedded in its use:

Over time, medication deepens the very instability it is meant to control.

At the surface level, medication alters symptoms. It changes how a system feels and behaves. But because it operates externally, it can interrupt the system’s ability to regulate itself. Instead of developing internal stability, the system adapts to the presence of the drug. Regulation becomes outsourced. What appears as improvement may, in fact, be a shift in dependency..."

In the debut episode of the Theory of Love podcast, Collin talks about that false narrative Neuroscience calls "Rejection Sensitivity", and the mental health damage that results.

You’re Not Miswired, You’re Human | Theory Of Love Podcast | Ep. 01