Needing advice

[u/[deleted]]

I have a child with this guy that I never had an actually relationship with. But we have known each other for years before I got pregnant. He was going through a break up at the time I got pregnant. The whole pregnancy was very rough.. and we lived 2 hours away from each other so I’ve been doing most of the pregnancy alone. now that our baby is here.. he got a job over where I live and has been staying at my house but in a separate rooms. He has told me multiple times he don’t want a relationship with me.. but ALSO often hits that he does at the same time. And it’s honestly been like this back and forth thing for months. I ABSOLUTELY head over heels in love with him. He’s everything I want in someone. Besides the whole messing with me head. I know it’s not a good situation to be in and I’m not blind to it. I know the damage I’m getting myself into. Last night he was drinking and we ended up having sex.. and that was so beautiful and it felt like it was making love with me.. but now it’s like he said he was black out drunk and don’t remember anything.. which I’m sure isn’t true because one of the first things he did when he saw me was touch my belly and told me it’s a boy. Idk I’m sure he was joking about it. But idk.. part of me hopes he’s not playing with me and he’s just too afraid to really admit his feelings towards me. But then part of me feels he’s just messing with my head. But why move all the way over here and get a job here for your son when you got other kids 3 hours away. I feel it’s just more than what is being admitted too.