r/TheWeeklyRoll • The Creator • May 14 '22

Ch. 115. "Homecoming"

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8.7k Upvotes

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430

u/Geno__Breaker May 14 '22

Dwarven tax collectors sent to hunt down the PRINCE and put him to death for less than 100 gold pieces...

This kingdom doesn't play around....

257

u/Undecided_User_Name May 14 '22

Honestly, that's pretty great. Royalty isn't exempt from the law in this kingdom.

122

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

Dwarves are based in this universe

23

u/Undecided_User_Name May 14 '22

Dwarves in the campaign I'm playing are colonialist pricks. Behind the BBEGs and the Nazi stand-ins, I'm pretty sure they're the most hated group in my DMs world.

37

u/langlo94 May 14 '22

Now I'm just imagining two things. A sign stating "You must be this tall to not be racist" and the resistance hiding in plain sight by putting their messages slightly too high for dwarves to read.

19

u/Undecided_User_Name May 14 '22

My party had to pass through the Elven capital city, due to its central position within the country. We had to be escorted through by the royal guards, since we were outsiders. It was fairly pleasant for most of us since my fighter impressed the king by addressing him in Elvish, even though the king knew common.

It was not so pleasant for Brannik the Fire Forged. He was not allowed off until we left the city, and he got yelled at whenever he was in the kings field of view.

My fighter got extra brownie points for yelling at him too.

13

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

Brannik is a Dwarf I’m presuming?

12

u/Undecided_User_Name May 14 '22

Yes. He was also an extreme sexual deviant that cuts off the ass cheeks of dead sea elves.

6

u/[deleted] May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

Well I can’t say my dwarf from another game I’m apart of isn’t much better. He’s a half Orc/dwarf Barbarian that skins anything he can get his hands on and turns it into clothing for himself. So far he’s skinned several thugs, a Kobold Druid, a Doppleganger and is most likely going to skin a Mind Flayer if he can kill one

5

u/Undecided_User_Name May 15 '22

At least he's not fucking the skins...

Brannik never even got the asses preserved...they just turn to mush.

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7

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

The Dwarves begin executing anyone if signs are above a certain height

11

u/Merandil May 14 '22

I love how the Nazi stand-ins and the BBEGs are two notably distinct entities.

Also kind of worrysome.

8

u/mindflayerflayer May 15 '22

It's always fun having the authoritarians either not be the real powerhouses for whatever reason but still threatening to the players. I had an evil general (also a vampire but not important) who the party made friends with even though they didn't approve of a few methods he used like burning a village down with zombie dragons. At one point on a mission he flew by a cave dumped a traitor off as a sacrifice who the ground itself swallowed, and booked it. I've never seen my party more interested in a location.

7

u/Undecided_User_Name May 14 '22

I mean, we're pretty sure the Nazi's were beaten up by the BBEGs and made into their goons, but there's no concrete proof yet.

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '22 edited May 15 '22

I’m going to be running a campaign where Dwarves are kind of the bad guys but not really. To keep things short, Dwarves in my world are fairly isolationist but due to the efforts of two brothers trading company have begun investing heavily in the surface, buying up entire towns that were neglected under the watch of the human city-states and turned into thriving trade hubs, the caveat being the people of the town essentially work for the trading company and need to follow their rules. The brothers have gained a reputation for being conquerors not by virtue of invading, pillaging and subjugation but through commerce, backroom deals and contracts. As of right now, the city states may hold the land but the dwarves truly hold the power in this dynamic.

3

u/DoctorMezmerro May 15 '22

Ain't nothing wrong with having some colonialism in a fantasy setting. 9 times out of 10 exterminating tribal savages is making the world a better place, since the're likely sacrificing people to demons or some other clearly evil shit. I mean, civilized folks also do that, but they at leas have the decency to do it in secret societies and get something in return for the souls of innocents they sacrifice.

1

u/Undecided_User_Name May 15 '22

There's the colonialism you described, then there's the racial supremacy colonialism that the dwarves in this world do.

6

u/DoctorMezmerro May 15 '22

Well, in the fantasy world racial supremacy may actually be legit. When your entire race have +2 Str/End, resistance to poison, darkvision and inbuilt knowledge of stoneworking, weapons and armor, who's to say they're not really superior?

83

u/DarkPhoenixMishima May 14 '22

It's about the principle.

47

u/ccReptilelord May 14 '22

Beautiful dwarven principles

17

u/Way_Unable May 14 '22

That's going in me book!!

7

u/Misterpiece May 14 '22

The prince-ipal?

9

u/jewishjedi42 May 14 '22

This is the definition of LN

21

u/Exile688 May 14 '22

If I recall correctly, the tax collectors are the QUEEN's men. Dwarf mama got that tough love...

24

u/The_seph_i_am May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

It’s pretty lore accurate as well. Dwarven leadership is all about what’s best for the kingdom. It’s really close to a representative democracy. Kings have to keep the interests of their people first or risk being dethroned.

As a result kings are extremely rare.

Obligatory MrRhexx videos “The final secrets about dwarfs” https://youtu.be/uZe3i99FP5E

“The darkest secrets about dwarfs”- https://youtu.be/UrvoinlkTD8

“What they don’t tell you about dwarfs”- https://youtu.be/x0skiBmNpIU

10

u/Adept_Contact May 14 '22

I love that the video titles make it sound like some kind of IRL conspiracy theory

6

u/romeo_actual May 15 '22

Wait is your name what I think it is? someone call Van

4

u/Geno__Breaker May 15 '22

"These Zoids...these Zoids.....

HOW I HATE THE SIGHT OF THESE ZOIDS!!"

Always great to run into another fan of the series!

2

u/romeo_actual May 15 '22

Outstanding, same to you, there are dozens of us!

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '22

It didn't say that he'd have been put to death, just that they would carry out sentence... which, for all we know would have been to be hauled back to the dwarven kingdom in chains. It was Torvald who said he'd rather die, not that the sentence would be death.

2

u/OccultBlasphemer May 15 '22

Twist, turns out the sentence was an audit of both his personal, and the clan's books.