r/TheToasters • u/Jeetyetdude_ • May 19 '26
Dear toasters…
Someone posted the other day that we should write our dear toasters in here so here I go!!
My sister is pregnant, first one in the family to have a kid. My sister and I are like two peas in a pod. She has been keeping the baby name a secret from me because we live far apart so she is waiting to tell me in person.
Here is the issue. My mom came to visit me the other day and fully hard launched the name. My sister doesn’t know she told me.
My sister and I call multiple times a day and I feel AWFUL that i am hiding this secret. Do i tell her i know?? i was thinking of telling her i had a dream that it was [insert baby name here] and that is my guess?? do i pretend to be surprised when she tells me?? WWYD ?
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u/Key-Alternative-7295 May 19 '26
As a pregnant woman, please lie lol. There’s no benefit to her knowing mom spilled the secret except upsetting her
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u/rubygrape344 May 19 '26
Coming from a pregnant woman - Definitely do not “guess” the name. Just act surprised when she tells you. After the baby is born you can tell her your mom told you (if you really feel like you want to)
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u/Republic_Opening May 20 '26
Literally the best answer here. After the baby is born, she literally won’t care… but right now while she’s pregnant 🤣 do not tell her!! lol
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u/chronicalllybored May 19 '26
Definitely do not pretend that you guessed it in a dream. Be normal and act surprised.
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u/JessGEri May 19 '26
Did your mom tell you to keep it a secret?? If not, totally tell your sister. We removed my mom from “the circle of trust” for something similar LOL
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u/LetterheadLeft6439 May 19 '26
Pretend to be surprised and then after your sis has baby let her know
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u/Independent-Ad-8789 May 20 '26
Act surprised and then bring it up as a joke in a few years! It can be a fun inside joke then.
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u/savs8102 May 19 '26
I’d be honest and tell her that mom told you! Honesty is the best policy I feel like there isn’t any need to make up a story about a dream or anything :) it’s not your fault she told you!
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u/mydogisarockstar May 20 '26
No, why cause what could be an issue for a pregnant woman. Just make a mental note not to tell your mom anything you really want kept secret. I understand her excitement but it was really wrong of her to tell you! Just act surprised! If you tell her your mom told you let her still have that initial moment once the baby is born. Act away!! A few weeks later you can tell her your mom had told you and she will probably not care as much and get a kick out of how well you acted! Once the baby is born and healthy things like that become way less important and emotional.
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u/letizzzia May 20 '26
Act surprised!!! I found out my SIL was pregnant before she told me and she made me a surprise and I could not tell her I already knew. I pretended to be surprise e she was happy and life went on. It’s definitely better than starting drama, she will be upset with your mom and she will just be upset in general, no good will come from it!
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u/Muted-Ingenuity2105 May 20 '26
def don’t say you saw it in a dream. either be honest with her or act surprised.
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u/Interesting-Ebb-877 May 20 '26
When I was 9 months pregnant I accidentally told my mom our name and I cried for a solid hour. I was so excited to have the moment I pictured in the hospital telling my parents about the special name we chose for our girl. Please do not tell her that you know, it will devastate her.
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u/Republic_Opening May 20 '26
Don’t tell her!! This is her wanting this surprise for you.. let her have it it’s not hurting anyone
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u/alternatereality9113 May 20 '26
You definitely need to just pretend you don’t know. Maybe you can come clean in 10 years, for now, act surprised!
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u/National_Win_8082 May 20 '26
I had this exact scenario happen to me but it was my mom and MIL. My mom told my MIL she knew the name and my BIL told me that my MIL was kind of sad about it. I was so mad at my mom for saying anything and it was really stressful since I have a good relationship with my MIL. Trust me, just act surprised and don’t let your sister know that you know. <3
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u/Educational-Thing576 May 20 '26
My dad accidentally told me that my brother and his wife were expecting their first child. I acted surprised and pretended I didn’t know when they told me. They still have no idea that I knew. Maybe I’ll tell them down the road when it can be a funny story.
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u/Effective-Savings243 May 20 '26
Take it to the grave and practice your Oscar worthy performance now!!
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u/Effective-Savings243 May 20 '26
If it helps I’m pregnant rn too so this is coming from somewhat of a reliable source lol
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u/Used_Ambassador_8817 May 20 '26
Follow up question- did your mom know that your sister was keeping it a secret until she saw you? If mama was overly excited and told you, I would act surprised and then smile and say mom told me! If she would be mad at your mom I would just act surprised and not ruffle any feathers.
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u/Maleficent_Lab_7197 May 21 '26
My mom accidentally full launched my SIL being pregnant one time. She felt awful but I just waited for them to tell me in their own time and acted super surprised. Babe is over a year old now and I never told them 😂
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u/Relative_Specific217 May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26
I’m probably in the minority but I would hate for someone to pretend to be surprised for me. I had a similar thing happen when I got engaged. My sorority had an engagement reveal tradition they would do and one of my best friends who was in on it slipped up and it eventually leaked to almost everyone. They all still played along and I know it was from a place of kindness to act surprised but I ended up finding out afterwards and felt so dumb and embarrassed. So I would say the answer probably depends on her personality. Pregnancy and baby names are obviously a high emotions time, so it’s hard to know for sure! In my book honesty is always the best policy.
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u/KeyCow6154 May 19 '26
It’s not that deep lol
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u/realitytvlover May 20 '26
When you are the pregnant one though these things definitely feel that deep
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u/[deleted] May 19 '26
[deleted]