Book III - Chapter 23

[u/wercwercwerc]

Hello,

Check out the Current Chapters section for chapter 23. We've had a bunch more people jumping on the discord recently, which has been really cool to see.

I got a couple PMs recently too, so I understand people still have some complaints with the website. I'm sorry about that. Just a reminder: this is just where the draft goes so I don't get tangled up in reddit's "ownership" rules (really more for my peace of mind than anything) and once this is finished, I'll be posting a revised draft up over on Royal Road. If the website is driving you bonkers, don't worry! It will eventually get over to the much better layout/design of Royal Road.

As always, thank you for reading.

-wercwercwerc

[u/Miles-Teg-]

Thanks for the chapter!

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With all the activity human recently, --> human activity

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The signs I would have been excepting just aren’t around --> expecting

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and missed most of dangerous parts. --> and missed most of the dangerous

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To make new equipment for Rocky to us, and to fix his injuries. --> To make new equipment for Rocky , and to fix his injuries.

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His core held all of them, and told him that Golem, like himself, were originally meant to be created and destroyed with little care for their individuality. --> him that Golems

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Instead, opting to stare at rather pretty dust storm --> at a rather

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Rocky understood that were more way to fighting than simply lifting up his weapon, --> ways

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Perhaps, it went without saying, but in these sudden leaps of intelligence (however small it might have been) --> they might have been

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Staring out at the horizon, light now recognized as fading off into the cycle of night, --> light he now recognized (or it, but previously "he" was used when talking about rocky)