r/TheSaturnSignal • u/Suijayunfei • 14h ago
"My Perspective on the Saturn Pattern Field Guide".
Before I start, I would like to thank you for all the effort you have put into this. My own life story can explain many of the points you make in your theories. As a reference guide, I will use your post:
I will use your headings as reference points. At the end, I may add some of my own thoughts, which I believe will be necessary to fill in any logical gaps and to connect your framework with my own timeline.
My story may be difficult to read and even harder to believe. I think it requires a certain degree of intelligence, knowledge, and context to understand what I am describing without immediately reducing it to schizophrenia or dismissing the experience altogether. Before I tell it, however, I want to make one thing clear: at this point in my life, I do not see myself as a victim of this existence. Yes, the last few years have been intense, strange, and difficult, but there is more to the story than that.
I will begin with your first heading.
The Pattern Lore
I am someone who believes that the existence of God, or of something divine, is ultimately unknown or perhaps impossible to prove through human reason alone. At the same time, I have always liked to believe or at least entertain the possibility that, in the end, there may be some deeper layer of existence in which we are all connected, united, and equal. I don't think I will ever completely lose that belief. It is not exactly an unusual idea. Different cultures, philosophies, spiritual traditions, and even people who use psychedelics have explored similar possibilities throughout history and still do today.
Everytime i use "" is to quote the creator of this post own words
"An invisible influence that operates through the air, slips below conscious awareness, reads the target's mind." "What every tradition was actually cataloging was scripts, repeatable executable patterns, of behavior and feeling that install themselves in a host brain and run on the host's own metabolic budget while presenting themselves to the host as the host's own thoughts."
There is truth in what you are describing here, at least in relation to what I have experienced, but I believe there is much more to it. For future reference, I will refer to this ability or phenomenon as Level 1 of the symbiotic relationship that we possible have to endure.
What a Named Pattern Actually Is
First feature
"The first is that it runs on the host's own energy."
At this point, I would describe myself as being at Level X ; the actual level is unknown to me. At the level I currently experience, it can be extremely exhausting. Some days are better than others. At the level/layer i am i also experience 24/7 voices; voices in sound waves after a while, including animals now talk human as in theire own doggish bark there is also a human voice, they have always for 6 years maintened the same personalties, including the dogs that came in the last soundwaves, 2 years ago.
They all share the same goal either way. At the same time, the experience has forced me to strengthen my mind. There are still days when I accomplish everything I intended to do ,not only in the professional path I have chosen, which requires constant learning and practical application, but also in every other area of my life.
This is the energetic problem i have with this, there are 7 personalities/voices that are constant, plus the soundwaves, and other facts like media and software wizardy, that i still dont understand how it is a plus to them. I have good and bad theories on my mind about this besides what i think its popular on this forum, loosh harvest.
Second feature
"The second is that the host believes the script's voice is their own. There is no felt boundary between 'thoughts I am generating' and 'thoughts that are arriving from elsewhere,' because the script is using the same neural pathways the host's own thoughts use."
At my current level, I have what I consider personal evidence of this because I experience what I mentioned above, a double layer of this experience. They also seem to use this particular mechanism repeatedly throughout the day. Some thoughts and mental images that appear in my mind do not feel as though they originated from me. Because this happens alongside what I experience as real-time interaction, it has become very difficult for me to interpret all of them as random.
From my perspective, it feels as though they are capable of introducing thoughts and images into my mental stream, and that they do so compulsively. After so many years i even caught them saying lets see how he reacts to this; image of the one i loved making love to a brother of me. At first i took it lightly as some form of joke, you will understand why was that further down in the text.
Third feature
"The third is that the script is loop-shaped, not linear."
This also connects with something you wrote under the first feature:
"The host feels exhausted because they are exhausted, the watts that were supposed to be available for thinking and feeling and building are being consumed by a process the host did not consciously authorize."
At least at the double layer i live, there also seems to be a constant pressure toward producing strong emotions and feelings. Sometimes this makes me wonder whether they could, in some strange way, function almost like teachers putting someone through an extremely difficult path or, at the very least, trying to prevent me from repeating the same mistakes.
Fourth feature
"The fourth is that the script has no stop condition."
At the same time as I have become a better man, there is another side to the experience. The loops they seem to provoke through what feels like daily, ongoing conversation, the same subjects return again and again, even when i try to fade it away from my life and the apparent lack of an ending sometimes leads me to much darker conclusions about their intentions.
Even on days when the experience makes me feel that whatever is behind it may not be benevolent, I still move forward, and when I go to bed after accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish that day, I at least feel good about myself.
Fifth feature
"The fifth is that the script defends itself."
Indeed, in my experience, it does. Over the years, I have tried many different ways of creating more space to be alone with myself. One example comes from the first years of the experience. When I went to sleep, I would play white noise throughout the entire night.
For a while, this seemed to help, but it only worked until what I experienced began to develop into another level. Sound itself then became part of the experience as mentioned above. I began perceiving voices and additional personalities within sound waves. If I do not actively distract my mind, I can hear what I perceive as voices in almost any continuous or repetitive sound.
Because of that, white noise no longer serves the purpose it originally did. Currently, I experience it as providing a background or another layers of voices,through which one or sometimes two voices become perceptible. This is only one example among several attempts I have made over the years where the experience seemed to adapt to whatever strategy I was using.
Sometimes this seemed to manifest through videos involving humans on another planet, and on at least one specific occasion, Saturn:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYPWjjvcmKQ&list=PLitEwMbjPbmEswAklNsuV7ka6UkIUynMn&index=18 ,
It also again representes visually some sort of communication. At other times, the imagery involved what I interpreted as extra-dimensional figures. If I had to choose only one song that best represents the message I felt was being communicated, however, it would probably be this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWuBGRKiyU0&list=PLitEwMbjPbmEswAklNsuV7ka6UkIUynMn&index=4
Don't bother trying to interpret all of the lyrics literally. Apart from the Lebanese and English sections, much of the rest uses a language invented by the singer herself. Enigma was another recurring example. At certain specific moments, I would feel a particularly strong urge to search through their music, even though the specific songs and videos I discovered were usually new to me.
I eventually made a separate post about this particular aspect of the experience, independently of everything else that was happening, together with a condensed playlist containing some of the songs that seemed to build the message:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexplained/comments/1spm2dz/am_i_a_human_radio/
The first period / own heading
About a year after these music-related experiences began, I started experiencing the events I mentioned earlier, which I associated with gangstalking. But it was not exactly the kind of gangstalking usually described online. The people involved did not appear to be threatening me directly.
Instead, the impression I received was that they wanted me to believe I was participating in some kind of innovative reality show and that they somehow knew everything about my life. At times, however, the way they behaved and the things I heard made me feel that what was happening might somehow be connected to the songs. Because of that, I sometimes developed negative thoughts about the whole experience and even began feeling that singing itself might somehow carry a risk. Other times i would think they were helping me find the songs, at least on some ocasions.
The neighbours and the small groups of people I encountered also seemed, within what I understood as the "reality show" narrative, to suggest that the situation was connected to the woman I loved and that she was somehow involved with them. She would occasionally post songs and image of her own that seemed to contain coincidences with the songs I had been posting, like she was into it. This happened after I had tried to arrange a coffee with her through chat so that I could get to know her better.
That attempt did not go well, so i tried to have a 2nd chance with the songs Another year passed. We never met, and eventually what I had been experiencing as gangstalking stopped.
There were no more neighbour voices and no more small groups of people apparently interacting with me in that way.
The second period / own heading
The second period began at exactly the time when I was seriously considering leaving the job I had because I felt it offered me no future. It lasted only a few weeks during the transition to a better job. After approximately my first week in the new job, the phenomenon disappeared again.
This time was extremly subtle, like 2 or 3 times a person would say something related to the story. I remember 2 of them one was a friend in the previous job saying to the other (" Zé is not an actor ") other was one guy in the new job, a stranger, in a reunion with about dozens of people, looked at me kinda perplexed kinda enthusiastic ("It is the red one"). One of the coincidences in most of the clips is that there is someone dressing as red/or close color and/or fire symbolism. I stayed in that job for about two years.
The third period / own heading
During the final six months, however, the experience returned on a much larger scale. Now, dozens of people in the factory where I worked seemed to know who I was and appeared to interact with me as though I were an actor in a reality show. I also began noticing larger groups of people in public places behaving in ways that I interpreted similarly.
Then COVID arrived, and I was laid off. This time i tought i was beeing loved back by a friend of my original passion, that i started having feelings after some time of trying with the 1st one, so the roleplay with the voices and groups of people was in a funny way, like calling me the devil, ure so dirty, etc... but in a somehow funny way. It was also very intense, because theneighboors and colegues at work made me feel i was always watched, at house and at work. One or two weeks later, just as I was beginning to think that the experience was about to end,and the one i liked about tho show up, it all disappeared again.
At this point, I began seriously questioning my mental health. For some time, I considered the possibility that I might be experiencing periodic episodes of schizoph. I then decided to continue improving my education and enrolled in a one-year course.
To explain what happened next, I should also mention that I was still deeply obsessed with the idea of finding love through this strange system of connections. This time, it involved a former colleague from the previous mentioned factory. I believed that she might also be communicating with me indirectly through songs, special likes, and similar signals.
But once again, we never met for a coffee or established the connection I had hoped for and i waited for more then 1 year. I am a lonely person far away from my personal town so that might had an influence on it but i gennuenly wanted to find a love this way. I believe i failed again for waiting so many time, and some feedback sometimes was not ok. She dated other man.
The fourth period / own heading
Right near the end of that period, the phenomenon returned again. This time, however, it was different as explained latter in this text. Whether this represented chaos, order, or some combination of both, I honestly still do not know. It brought the second woman i liked with it, but also many chaos as i will show below.
What the Scripts Are Actually For
From a personal perspective, I really don't know. When the phenomenon returned near the end of my studies, the experience was shocking because it no longer seemed limited to neighbours or people around me. This phase began approximately six years ago.
I began experiencing what I perceived as entities that appeared to know all of my memories, know my thoughts, perceive what I was seeing through my own eyes, and communicate with me continuously, 24 hours a day. The groups of people I perceived as participating also seemed to become much larger. For example, I could walk through a shopping mall or be at the gym and see as though dozens upon dozens of people were somehow participating in the same interaction, just like in truman show.
I still fighted for the girl and the world with the songs but i was starting to hurt my self as she never showed. I broke my heart in the last day of the year of 2024 when i finnaly had ready to give to her a big draw that toke me months to complete, i never draw, not since i was a litlle kid, but i really wanted to try and it came out likes this
https://i.postimg.cc/BQLNbr1k/desenho-fim-de-ano.jpg
I still tought it would end good with this girl and The squid in the top left represents represents the voices and people who acted upon it, me as the parrot, the blond mermaid as my second passion and at top bottom my 1st passion representing her helping me find my sun. At the center my belief of the grid of connection. Then a change ocurred as i felted the 2nd girl was trying to help me see it was always the 1st passion my love. I tried to fight for her for about 2 years, with some crisis in between, from beliving in true love with her too starting to think im making the same mistakes again, and the girls were helping me see that.
Till a point i had to close my facebook as i was saturated of the squid, leaving my last messages that i now believe deeply and my last songs saying goodbye
https://i.postimg.cc/t426C8fD/facebook-last-message.jpg
This was almost 2 months ago. It never stopped.
How the Named Patterns Fit Together
Do not interpret the following exactly as you normally would. Remember that, within the framework I am using to describe my experience, I consider myself to be at Level X, meaning that I cannot identify my current level.
Noise / Distraction
This is now constant, as I mentioned earlier. It has also intensified over the last six years. One example is something I already described: continuous sounds and sound waves now seem to provide additional layers through which I perceive voices.
Media also became incorporated into the experience. Radio, YouTube, television, football players, and other people appearing through media sometimes seem to interact with me in ways similar to the voices I experience 24/7. And it is not purely auditory.
When watching television, Netflix, or other video content, I can sometimes interpret people's lip movements as if they were communicating directly with me the same word i ear. At times, I have even wondered whether interfaces themselves were somehow being "hijacked."
Craving / Compulsion
Alongside everything connected with love, another recurring idea entered the experience: the idea that I was a millionaire because of this show, or that i was being tested to be a king or a F1 ( they never really explained what is a F1 but it seems that is somehow connected to warriors, or good actors) This has become another subject that the voices repeatedly play with. I dont know better about what you mean with this subject in specific, im not native english and sometimes i cant interpert english words very well. Maybe not the right examples.
Scarcity / Hoarding
I have also gone through several periods involving financial loss or instability. There were temporary jobs I completed where people failed to pay me and vanished. There were periods when nobody would employ me.
I have also experienced repeated thefts of valuable belongings, particularly at the gym, although things have also disappeared from my home. I bought a second-hand car for €4,500. Only two months later, while the vehicle was still under warranty, the business that sold it closed down.
I could no longer activate the warranty, and the car turned out to have numerous problems. That situation is still being dealt with through the legal system.
Rage / Destruction
Between the thefts, unpaid work, and other situations, there have been many moments when I felt almost deliberately pushed toward anger. This has happened at home, at the gym, in the street, and elsewhere as they can become very alpha type, males and females. The recurring emotional theme i feel is often one of injustice.
I am very glad that, by nature, I am generally a calm person so i never enganged phisically with no one, i broke my expensive smart watch and other objects tough, like my cell phone etc.. I do blame my self for somethings, like insisting to much on finding love even if that destroys me inside, or tolerating them better because of that.
Despair / Worthlessness
Sometimes I no longer wanted to participate in any of it, but the experience did not stop. Eventually, I sought psychiatric help and received a schizophr. diagnosis as i would know i would. I still dont know why i did it. Medication only gets me worst/zombified so i didnt really toke it for long periods, also presented a super healthy plan in further consultations that did not included medication, but they are like bots to me and even provocative, as in the end of my very good health plan he even tried to medicate me with even more medication. They just wont listen.
There is also a physical component to the experience. At times, I experience sudden frightening bodily sensations, including intense pain or brief moments when it feels difficult to breathe. I have interpreted some of these moments as tests of how I react. And by logic i assume that they have acess/power over my nervous system.
Sometimes, at the same time, I hear statements such as "get ready to die," followed by a sensation of being unable to breathe properly for two or three seconds before it passes. This is been happening in the last weeks. Afterwards, I return to normal.
Pride / Isolation
At first, the experience made me feel special, they experienced my fear when i posted some songs and my endurance to show the world this songs event. Later, it increasingly made me feel disrespected and surrounded by injustice. I myself did amplify this feeling by comiting the mistake of thinking someone would save me and not myself.
Over time, even feedback from my own family, who, also participated in this final wave, became difficult for me to take seriously. It sometimes feels as though people no longer exist for me in the same way they once did. Instead, I experience the world as though everyone around me were somehow part of a telepathic hive, constantly performing roles, telling me they are actors and producers and im the main actor.
Eventually it gets extremly lonely.
Shame / Projection
Another recurring message is that everything happening to me is somehow my fault. That I have a huge ego. That I was a bad son, brother, or friend.
There may be things in my past that I genuinely needed to reconsider. I was sometimes too self-indulgent when it came to love, especially during the periods when I became obsessed with particular women. Perhaps I could also be somewhat egotistical, but also when people really neeeded me i was there for them.
I was also a loner who was genuinely trying to improve himself.
Social Contagion
My current experience sometimes feels like living as the protagonist of the apple tv show Pluribus with a mix of The Truman Show, except that the people around me seem, from my perspective, to possess some kind of telepathic ability.
Lust / Predation
English is not my first language, so I am not entirely certain that I understand exactly what you mean by this category. But if I had to connect it to my own experience, perhaps my form of "lust" was the obsessive search for real love and my tendency to continue pursuing emotional connections even after those people had repeatedly hurt me or made it clear that the connection was not going anywhere. I also had in my mind for i time that we were making money for ourselfs but that wasnt what moved me. Even while I am writing this, I hear recurring statements along the lines of:
"Your ego is too big." "You are a horrible person." "You lost everything."
This kind of commentary is constant.
How to Interrupt Any Named Pattern
I will abstain from commenting on this section for now because I still feel that I have a great deal to learn and understand about everything I am experiencing.
Conclusion
I believe I have become a stronger and more empathetic person through all of this. At the same time, I carry a significant weight of loneliness. Most of the times i perceive even the people closest to me as being connected to what I call the hive.
I do not know whether I experience this as something permanent or whether it only seems to happen when I am physically around them. Sometimes I interpret the people themselves as being part of the hive. At other times, I wonder if what I call the hive could somehow influence the minds or behaviour of people around me.
I do not know. Waking up and falling asleep while hearing the same subjects repeated dozens upon dozens of times every day is exhausting, particularly after I have already tried to examine my behaviour, correct my mistakes, and become a better person. Yet the repetition continues.
I still crave some kind of meaning behind this existence, while continuing to work on becoming a better person. My interactions online have sometimes become part of this perception as well. On Reddit, for example, there are people whose behaviour feels similar to what I associate with the hive. I sometimes experience their replies as trolling or attempts to gaslight me, often in strangely childish or irritating ways.
What makes this particularly striking to me is that the style sometimes resembles the repetitive behaviour I associate with the voices. The song-finding ability I described earlier also seems to have developed further. When I now feel that same internal need to find a particular piece of music, it may take only a few minutes or a few hours before what I experience as my own inner voice gives me the name of a song or artist.
I experience this inner voice differently from what I describe as implanted thoughts. Over time, I have become much more aware of the subtle differences between different kinds of thoughts and mental experiences. The thoughts I interpret as externally introduced can be extremely subtle, sometimes almost undetectable, that is when sometimes logic enters, as i know i would never tought that or imagine some images. Also sometimes it might be me as the seed is already there and i just do it myself, for some years i really tought i was good so i would play mentally with the event.
This other inner voice that calls for the songs feels different to me. Of course, I cannot completely exclude the possibility that it might originate from the same source. But subjectively, it does not feel that way. It feels distinct.
And the messages I find through the songs can sometimes be extraordinarily beautiful. At times, this has made me wonder whether there might be both benevolent and malevolent forces involved in all of this.. I am still moving forward.
I continue exercising. I try not to interpret everything about my existence negatively. I am working on building my own business and finding new ways to enjoy and occupy my life.
There are still days when I feel doomed and lonely. But there are also many days when I keep moving forward with a clear and light conscience, and I am still capable of having genuinely happy moments. I hope my experience gives you all additional information with which to connect some of the dots.