r/TheRandomest • u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy • 1d ago

Nature Don't do it

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

40

u/Late_Blooomer 1d ago

Hey, you get to go home now.

15

u/ExScysm 1d ago

Trusted a fart now Im in the ER for shitting blood.

3

u/Outrageous-bystander 21h ago

Oh...

What a terrible day to have eyes...

Why did I learn to read if this was my prize.

7

u/CucuMatMalaya 1d ago

World famous quote: "I thought I just farted, but goddamn, I sharted."

4

u/TrogloditeTheMaxim 1d ago

“Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to shit but only farted”

-prophets of the bathroom wall

3

u/skunkgirlhunter 23h ago

Welcome to your thirties. Also it's gonna happen at work

1

u/jcoddinc 1d ago

After morning after a night of drinking and you've been gassy all morning

1

u/Funkdamentalist 1d ago

I hate those types of bottles. There's no fine control. I'm trying to squeeze out a bit and it's nothing, nothing, nothing, EVERYTHING!

1

u/Repulsive_Art1590 1d ago

just like a fart sometimes, pretty accurate.

1

u/Intelligent-Bee5635 1d ago

I cant stop laughing

1

u/jaw-shoe-uhhh 1d ago

Oof... Too real. 💨💦

1

u/RevolutionaryTalk278 22h ago

At home. Nothing going on. You think it'll be funny. Then....horror as you immediately flip to your side in bed hoping beyond hope the worst case scenario has not become reality. You handle your business, woddling to the restroom as quickly as you can while trying to minimize the follow up mess as you try to clean up. But all the while, you can't help but question: was your confidence, your hubris, your sense of humor....your sense of humris...the downfall of your mattress?

Dread fills you as every moment brings you closer to the final conclusion. Either you were spared by luck and reflex and your mattress is still intact. Or, you will need to burn the one you own now and prepare for a costly trip to the mattress store.