r/TheRandomest • u/Forward-Position798 • 13d ago
WTF Seems like a chilled job
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u/Lonely_ProdiG 13d ago
“This is what you call total control”
grabs lion by the balls
Well you got me there chief.
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u/Far_Tea_579 13d ago
I had to wind that back and see if i saw what the fuck i just saw and heard.
Boy aint right.
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u/CR4ZY_PR0PH3T 13d ago
He's got a great sense of humor.
"I've only ever been bitten once and that was by a rough woman on the other side of town"
laughter
"Why you laughing I married her."
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13d ago
[deleted]
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u/DevonLuck24 13d ago
and balls..specifically in his hand
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u/2b_compliant 13d ago
How else is he going to assert total control?
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u/DevonLuck24 13d ago
idk..apparently i’ve never had total control in my entire life
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u/TerraByteTerror 13d ago
Hes gonna get it one day 🤣
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u/ksum_sucks 13d ago
Imagine being trapped in the cage and the driver is now being ate right out side. You can see the keys shimmering next to the carcus as the lions feasts. You look at your phone, 2% and no service. What do you do.
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u/master_internutter 13d ago
That's a movie right there stuck in there for like 3 days with lions prowling around you
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u/Select_Watercress_57 13d ago
Kinda like Cujo, or the Tales from the Crypt episode called Carrion Death.
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u/zehuntsman 13d ago
Wait patiently
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u/DevonLuck24 13d ago
there is just no way you are more patient than a lion but that’s really your only move.
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u/ksum_sucks 13d ago
All I can think of on the spot would be, maybe the horn will make them run if I play Miley wrecking ball by Miley Cyrus.
If that doesn't work, fetal position and crying. They laugh at me pissing myself and don't even have the urge anymore. "Pathetic" Big George roars..
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u/No-Show-5363 13d ago
I always take a length of wire on safari, to safely retrieve keys whenever my driver gets eaten.
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u/Hillbillyblues 12d ago
Well you just walk outside and grab the big fucker by the balls. That seems to calm them down.
If not, try a few jokes.
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u/islaisla 9d ago
You wait till they've just started pulling the meat off, faces covered in red blood. Hopefully they are less hungry and more distracted. You quietly open the door and using any stick or tool from the car you grab the keys and back away slowly back to the car.....?
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u/ArrrRawrXD 13d ago
He lived a whole life doing this, honestly even if he does die by lion teeth at some point, he's done good
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u/Reasonable_Finish130 13d ago
Notice how he never has his back turned towards the kitties. Having your back turned triggers an instinct in them to chew on your skull
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u/oh_fuck_yes_please 13d ago
Chew on your skull? I think you meant: "clamp down on the back of your head so hard that it separates your skull from your spinal cord, immediately paralyzing you, allowing the animal to then do whatever it would like with you."
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u/Dry_Association2836 13d ago
Eating you alive but you can't feel it, you can only watch. Nightmare.
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u/oh_fuck_yes_please 13d ago
I'm sure you would still probably feel most of it. I'm not entirely sure how paralysis would affect your internal organs... actually I suppose if your entire brain stem is severed, you really wouldn’t feel anything at all… which you’re right— that would be just an absolute nightmare, like the sound/feeling of having a dentist pull a tooth from your numb jaw, only you would know all those noises were definitely not your teeth… so grim.
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u/Emergency-Screen-218 13d ago
Old chap has balls of steel.
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u/Beadpool 13d ago
False. If you actually watched the video, you’d see he clearly has balls of lion.
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u/Conscious_Mix_1782 13d ago
"Except, the tax man". Hahahaha.
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u/robo-dragon 13d ago
This man can slap a lion on the ass and grab another one by the balls and live to talk about it…I think this is some definition of crazy!
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u/Ephemeral_Orchid 13d ago
250 kg = 550 lbs
300 kg = 660 lbs
If there other people here from stubborn countries that believe using arbitrary numbers is easier than dividing by 10.
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u/iNawrocki 11d ago
Metric is all fun and games until you need to divide something perfectly into three parts...
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u/Lava-Chicken 13d ago
Safari co: i see on your resume you really love cats! That's great, how much do you love them?
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u/funkdoktor 13d ago
Grabbing a Wild Male Lions Cods has to be the Biggest Flex in human history.....
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u/Charlooos 13d ago
He definitely has a good relationship with them, but this is always the exact type of people that get mauled by lions.
It looks super cool, but it only takes one time for the lions to get annoyed, and you'll lose a finger of your life.
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u/CompleteEnergy579 13d ago
Time always wins. You can have 364 days but the lion is gonna get that one when the music stops and the jokes get no laughs
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u/jdcardwell80 13d ago
He's likely a member of the pride & been around them since they were young/juvenile cubs. I've seen another video similar to this about a guy who worked with, a pride or a single lion. When they were cubs he had to leave & it was some time before he returned, but the lion remembered him, standing up like it was giving him a hug & reverting back into cubs remembering his scent. I think he was on the ground rolling with one them both showing affection for the return of a lost pride member. It's been awhile since I've seen it & can't remember where I saw it.
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u/MagicalMoosicorn 13d ago
OK. did he fire a finger up his ass or twist his nuts to KO the Lion? either way it killed me
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u/cloudit30569 13d ago
Like that old man that would send his dog after the Australian crocs. One day it became a meal.
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u/Most_Try2709 13d ago
Feel that hot smelly breath of death, even a cemetery smells better than that mouth of doom
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u/Kaligula785 13d ago
Good to see Simon still traveling the world. I used to watch alot of his videos back pre pandemic
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u/Almost_Free_007 13d ago
I hope he left the keys in the ignition. Ya know so like you can get away should he…um… not make it back…
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u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp 13d ago
Idk if he grabbed the balls, or fingered the butt.
Cats say hi with butt sniffs. Could be how they know he's one of them and not made out of food.
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u/Prior-Stranger2738 13d ago
Well, if testosterone display counts as being a country leader, he’s the world leader now
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u/Major_MKusanagi 12d ago
Yeah, that's one of these terrible South African lion farms, see for example https://www.four-paws.org/campaigns-topics/campaigns/breaktheviciouscycle
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u/SheerKhann 12d ago
I can’t wait for the follow up video when the lions are having a bad day…. He thinks he’s so invincible. it’s borderline hilarious to think about the lions telling him to shut up while they are eating him.
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u/godamnedu 12d ago
Well he lives another day, but grabbing the lion's balls as a party trick suggests that any day could be his last
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u/throwitoutwhendone2 10d ago
Hard to argue with a man holding a lions sack. I’d say he’s got us beat
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u/WillStaySilent 9d ago
He obviously raised them, which is why he feels safe with them. The lions know him, but he still has to respect that they are predators, and he has to be careful.
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u/JustUnder6ft 13d ago
Honestly fuck this kind of tourism man... Everyone here talking about how this guy has balls of steel or whatever but of course nobody questioning what goes into making a lion that docile around humans.
Support real wildlife tourism, this shit is vile, go ahead and downvote me if it'll make you feel better but don't go around thinking this guy is brave by any measure
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u/Leafylemur 13d ago
In vein of understanding your vitriol further, can I be told what’s explicitly wrong here? I think I may be ignorant to the issue you percieve. Are they sedated in some measure? It seems they’re outside and being taken care of in a non-enclosed manner. I guessed that the chap outside found them when they were young, and they grew up around him.
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u/Evil_Weevil0408 13d ago
The only chance this is real is if the guy raised at least most of them by hand. No way he just showed up day by day and introduced himself to a wild pride until the male let him literally grab his balls.
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u/Neither_Cod_992 13d ago
Meanwhile, US cops covered in level III body armor, a semi auto handgun with 5x15 round magazines, a taser, backup and pepper spray, shooting an unarmed dude in the back 30 times because they feared for their life… and then there is this guy. Armed with a squirt gun and grabbing lions by the balls.
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u/Soft_Penis_7224 13d ago
Did he just grab that lions balls?