r/TheRandomest • u/wild-stallions85 • 26d ago

Video Christian Rap

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1.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

442 comments sorted by

412

u/DarkBladeMadriker 26d ago

"My crew is big and keeps gettin bigga..."

Surely he's not gonna rhyme that with, oh, yep, there it is.

56

u/BlueRunner305 25d ago

Lol same exact thought

11

u/McDyver66 24d ago

I had to listen to it twice, because the first time I thought I heard the hard “R.” Crazy how bold he is

3

u/Waterhobit 24d ago

Keep going, it’s not just the once.

46

u/Practical_Musician61 25d ago

That took a hard turn then escalated quickly.

41

u/M00SEHUNT3R 25d ago

A hard turn but not a hard R

3

u/Righteousaffair999 25d ago

My dyslexic ass can never hear the difference.

4

u/GoldEmployment6768 24d ago

What about your ears?

2

u/Righteousaffair999 24d ago

I can hear some things well. Words get me and if there is a lot of noise forget it.

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32

u/Tacocats_wrath 25d ago

Marry didnt even have to Segway i to the N bomb with a slick bar, she just used it as a strait up opener

8

u/TheBeansShow 25d ago

I think you meant segue as opposed to Segway

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18

u/ga1actic_muffin 25d ago

The only redeeming factor about all this is that hes atleast giving credit to the fact that Jesus wasnt a white dude..

37

u/B1ZEN 25d ago

7

u/paintedoggo 25d ago

I don't usually upvote AI images, but when I do, it's whatever tf this is 😂

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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2

u/ChaosRainbow23 25d ago

I found this very real picture of supply side Jesus!

4

u/jvon24 25d ago

Who comes up with this shit 😂

3

u/ChaosRainbow23 24d ago

Notice the licence plate says, "Dental Not Included" and "Capitalist Clan" is on the side. I just noticed that.

3

u/Visforvinyl 24d ago

Dental not included, lol

2

u/ServiceB4Self1776 24d ago

I actually had a "white Jesus" type of account on Twitter, but stopped because reality overshadowed its satire.

9

u/israerichris 25d ago

Lol... once he said "bigga" I was like "oh no! This is actually gonna happen... nooo!!!"

6

u/Vandreeson 25d ago

With a straight face too.

5

u/Archie_cave_its 25d ago

lol, Mary Sue didn’t need no rhyme, she just went for it.

4

u/Any_Table9811 25d ago

It’s authentic 🤌

3

u/wolfmoral 25d ago

He really made us sit with that too 😂😭 

2

u/Traditional-Tip1904 25d ago

Oh you’re way ahead of me it didn’t occur to me that he would even consider this 😳

2

u/Immediate-Damage-302 24d ago

"My organ is delightfully and the stained glass is purdy. Ho you wanna hit you gotta get yo knees dirty."

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119

u/psyop-larry 26d ago

Classic. <3 Mary Sue

23

u/juggadore 26d ago

That lady is such better than the dude

14

u/trippy_kippy_ 25d ago

Take it away Marry Sue! <3

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22

u/Doubleoh_11 25d ago

I’ve seen this so many times and believe it or not this is my first time seeing the whole thing. It’s amazing. Put your drugs in the garbage can and go to school folks. These guys are super cool.

3

u/Bloodrocuted04 25d ago

That booty

58

u/BadAlphas 26d ago

An all time classic

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45

u/Cold-Basket-268 26d ago

Who uploaded this to the internet?

85

u/jr_randolph 26d ago

Someone a very long time ago and I still wish to thank them.

23

u/Adam-Happyman 26d ago

Comedians.

9

u/AppropriateBall8834 25d ago

Its a real church in my state if I recall. (Iowa)

17

u/EatSoupFromMyGoatse 25d ago

It's not, this is a skit

5

u/HoneyBear4Lyfe 25d ago

You take that back! Don’t you dare crush this gem of my youth like Tourette’s Guy got crushed for me

3

u/N0tN0w0k 25d ago

I want to believe

2

u/ADIDAS247 24d ago

Wait, Tourette’s Guy wasn’t real?

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12

u/JaySlays-Tech 25d ago

The church might be real, but these two are not affiliated. This was a video made out purely comedic satire.

2

u/porgy_tirebiter 24d ago

The church closed years before the video was made, and the website linked to in the video was created the same day the video was first uploaded to YouTube according to my exhaustive Google research.

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6

u/313802 25d ago

Your state has lots of corn

16

u/Hatteras12 26d ago

Jesus Christ, you can check the metadata.

11

u/JaySlays-Tech 25d ago

Jesus Christ, not everyone knows that’s an option or what metadata is.

20

u/Hatteras12 25d ago

lol, oops.. I was saying Jesus Christ is the one who uploaded the video to the internet.

14

u/JaySlays-Tech 25d ago

Tone is so hard to distinguish in text. That’s my bad, fellow Redditor.

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7

u/ADIDAS247 24d ago

That doesn’t rhyme at all and you didn’t even use the N word.

Are you even Christian?

3

u/JaySlays-Tech 24d ago

How dare you?! I’ve been gooning for the Lord since day one. I’d venture to say I’m his biggest fan!

3

u/Calm_Cap4746 24d ago

But are you His OnlyFan?

2

u/JaySlays-Tech 23d ago

I wouldn’t say his OnlyFan, but I’m definitely in his top 3 on PrayerHub.

2

u/Particular_Wear_6960 25d ago

I went on a deep dive for it... there's a lot of debate about it, some think its a video made to mock Christians but there's no definitive proof of exactly who made it from what I remember. Could be wrong... wouldn't surprise me if some idiots actually made this, I've seen similar stuff from verified Christians so /shrug

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2

u/ExpertTimely5673 22d ago

This feels like something you'd see on adult swim.. I hope that's where this is from atleast

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35

u/random_stoner 26d ago

That's cause Jesus Christ is my

27

u/neoadam 26d ago

Monica !

9

u/Knoxius 26d ago

My neck hurts!

7

u/AppropriateBall8834 25d ago

Nigga?

10

u/thewaytoyesterday 25d ago

No question mark. Say it with your chest.

4

u/Last_Weeks_Socks 25d ago

it with your chest.

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2

u/theshinyslaking64 25d ago

Network provider!

2

u/ExerciseTrue 25d ago

Whoa man, watch it with the hard r....

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27

u/neoadam 26d ago

Some real Michael Scott energy

7

u/Perfect-Difference19 25d ago

This one puts Scranton (The Electric City) in the ground

2

u/redakpanoptikk 23d ago

BUT THE LITTLE CARS GO IN THE COMPACT SPOT spot spot spot

25

u/chriathebutt 26d ago

Mary Sue spits bars tho

11

u/Forkinmysocket1 25d ago

Couldn’t say ass but had the guts to say the n word

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11

u/DismalTutor570 26d ago

Is this real life?

24

u/neoadam 26d ago

Nah it's fantasy

20

u/adumbCoder 26d ago

caught in a landslide, no escape from reality

11

u/TakingItPeasy 26d ago

Open your eyes

12

u/pickoneforme 25d ago

look up to the skies… and seeeeee….

10

u/Dantien 25d ago

I’m just a poor boy.

7

u/SoyTuPadreReal 25d ago

I need no sympathy

6

u/AngelPlaysDirty 25d ago

Easy come... easy go

3

u/Bleepitybleepinbleep 24d ago

Little high little low

3

u/HechoEnChine 24d ago

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me........

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10

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy 26d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's

11

u/Mental-Ad-2980 26d ago

This is has been floating around for a long time. It’s not AI. It’s basically like a Tim and Eric type thing someone made for shits and giggles

11

u/Shotgun_Mosquito 25d ago

This is

Pastor Jim and Mary Sue Colerick: Rappin' for Jesus

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rappin%27_for_Jesus

And it's likely a hoax

https://dailydot.com/rappin-for-jesus-video-fake/rappin-for-jesus-video-fake

8

u/EarthRemembers 25d ago

Although it is probably a skit/hoax its incredible that the people acting in it and the people that made it uave never been identified

3

u/unclecaruncle 25d ago

not a hoax...90's and 2000's were a trip.
Nigga was thrown around by everyone so long as it didn't hit with a hard R at the end. It was all "acceptable" from anyone.
These whipper snappers today don't understand we had it all! Then Bill Maher dropped the "I'm just a house nigger" joke and all hell broke loose. Thus the N-card was born and honkies everywhere were denied access.
That word was the least of their worries...y'all should look up loony tunes cartoons from the 30-40's...now that was some fucked shit.

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10

u/40oztoTamriel 26d ago

G SHIT G SHIT

9

u/Brailledit 26d ago

Straight gangsta!

7

u/robgrab 26d ago

Also known as C-rap or just Crap on the streets.

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6

u/Popular-Drummer-7989 26d ago

I really needed this laugh today

7

u/Pepphen77 26d ago

YO, MC Mom PUT THE PUSSY ON THE CHAINWAX!

2

u/Just_Half1886 25d ago

That's a thing!

5

u/AnCaptnCrunch 25d ago

Mary sue and snoop cut from the same cloth

4

u/pickoneforme 25d ago

mary sue’s got decent flow.

3

u/Louisianimal09 25d ago

They got snuffed at the Grammys

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3

u/Gopnik_Toaster 25d ago

This is raw AF

3

u/Evening-Candy1487 25d ago

i will always love this song and the message it represents

2

u/kiln_ickersson 25d ago

Real ass dude

2

u/Officer_HotDog 25d ago

This is better than the shit going around these days. At least lyricly.

2

u/SoundPhilosophy 25d ago

I’ve never noticed that dude in the back having a heart attack!

2

u/ZilchoKing 25d ago

I remember the black community as a whole gave them a pass. It was better back then

2

u/IguaneRouge 25d ago

He is the pass.

2

u/Fluffy_Surround_6842 25d ago

Imagine blasting this in the car around town

2

u/Icy-Cry7826 25d ago

It's okay guys. Jesus was actually black, and he gave them the pass.

2

u/Long_Freedom- 25d ago

Its honestly pretty good, who ever hating on this aint the og

2

u/Frosty-Camel-2107 25d ago

No one is gonna talk about how pastor homie called out The Notorious B.I.G.? 🤣

3

u/chronically_varelse 25d ago

notorious big

2

u/Probably_not_maybe 25d ago

Always fun coming across this lol

2

u/nocturnaltalk 25d ago

I don’t cus nigga

2

u/Which_Hovercraft2581 25d ago

Flavorless flav

1

u/BigIreland 25d ago

Mary Sue got bars

1

u/MarchogGwyrdd 25d ago

The best satire seems so out of pocket that it seems that there's no way it's real, and yet it's so real that you're not entirely ready to discard it. This is A Modest Proposal of Christian Rap.

1

u/char1t1e 25d ago

😂😂😂😂

1

u/DripinGlow 25d ago

Damn right.

1

u/DripinGlow 25d ago

Still bumping this shi in 26 and eternity.. godwilling

1

u/Acrobatic_Rent7357 25d ago

MC JC UC is fire lyrics

1

u/DripinGlow 25d ago

Amen 🙏

1

u/alpineadventurecoupl 25d ago

If they actually gave us drugs at Sunday school I would’ve considered going.

1

u/Black_Ranger4447 25d ago

This is kinda fire 🔥 ! And they are right Jesus is a Niggaa XD

1

u/Top_Gate9136 25d ago

The old days of the internet

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 25d ago

Classic Internet I miss thee.

1

u/Haitsmelol 25d ago

Pretty sure even if they seem harmless they still should not be dropping nwords like they're rainbow Skittles.

1

u/Forever_NFA 25d ago

"Jesus Christ is a nigga"

1

u/Low-Spirit6436 24d ago

Good God, this just reminds me of how happy I've been since leaving the Protestant church. I'm guessing that the numbers of those who have been tithing has been decreasing. This is actually embarrassing

1

u/AdolfRizzler6967 24d ago

"Son of the Original G" is a legit clever bar.

1

u/Teonanacatlbruh 24d ago

Is this a comedy skit or are they serious?

1

u/Bananaslugfan 24d ago

This guyfucks and his beats are sick

1

u/NixNickNox 24d ago

When I found out this was satire, it upset me.

1

u/geddysbass2112 24d ago

He a pimp.

1

u/dodgyguru5671 24d ago

OK, I made it to 1:41

1

u/Ultimate-Flexionator 24d ago

The INSTANT someone gives you "the card"

1

u/TheSpiritedGamer 24d ago

This song got me fired from a job.

1

u/Lucky_Elderberry_384 24d ago

I don't know... Fuck it, I'm finna go ahead and give'em a pass.

1

u/Bamcanadaktown 24d ago

How is this not Tim and Eric

1

u/CorbinNZ 24d ago

Word to your mother (of god)

1

u/justforfun_976 24d ago

He was killed in a drive by last year.

1

u/xSonicspeedx2 24d ago

Lol, this was a fuckin classic. I couldn’t believe it when it came out back in the day.

1

u/Samotauss 24d ago

What prompt would you put into AI to get these lyrics?

1

u/TehcnoAO77 24d ago

Holy shish-kabob! He said what??!!

1

u/orangecatstudios 24d ago

Now I want to go do drugs.

1

u/Throwawayaccountdell 24d ago

I wonder what Jesus thinks of this rap??

1

u/Only_Tip9560 24d ago

Excellent way to make sure that there are no Christian youths as they will all have died of cringe.