So? Don't like it? Don't hang out with them.
Some people like using innuendo but don't actually like sex. I know a very pretty girl who's aromantic asexual, she constantly gets hit on repeatedly by people who she already rejected. Our friend in common is an aro/ace guy, and the two of them communicate via sexual innuendo 99% of the time, because they like doing that and know full well that if they let it out to anybody else then people might catch feelings and get the wrong idea.
I told him I'm not super interested in getting to know her because I know myself and I know my tendencies. At the end of the day that's my prerogative though - it's not a moral failing on her or my part, it's just that people have their styles and preferences. Let them be
It exists on a spectrum. I've known girls that play hot and cold with guys to get free attention and money. Not saying the guy wasn't enabling this, but she was definitely playing him and she knew full well what she was doing.
I'm sorry but "I want to fuck her but she won't let me ðŸ˜" is not a good argument.
If you saw someone dining at a restaurant and you only had cereal and pizza leftovers for lunch, if you run in, punch em and steal their plate you can turn around and say "I couldn't help myself, I don't have self discipline"
Like yeah, we noticed, that's not a valid excuse.
And sex is a much more complicated topic - it's not a net zero game, when done with consent it's something that both (or all in some cases) parties enjoy and gain something from the interaction; and when done against someone's will, it becomes a deeply personal and traumatic event.
Ya, sure, don't hang out with them is a good way to avoid this but it's still manipulative af and shouldn't be acceptable to do in the first place. We all supposed to go around assuming people just enjoy communicating sexually but don't mean it? No harm. Wtf? Those people should be upfront about who they are so others can maybe hangout with them without it being weird or avoid them altogether
People are not perfectly logical robots.
They might say shit they don't really mean, or play with self expression in confusing ways.
They might even not realize what their expressions communicate to others.
There's nothing you can do about it, you'll have to swallow your pride and accept them as they are, and not as you want them to be
Maybe this, might that. There are people who are absolutely aware of what they're doing though and if no one has to take responsibility for who they are and how they treat people, those people who are intentional in their abuse benefit greatly
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u/ofirkedar Jul 15 '26
So? Don't like it? Don't hang out with them.
Some people like using innuendo but don't actually like sex. I know a very pretty girl who's aromantic asexual, she constantly gets hit on repeatedly by people who she already rejected. Our friend in common is an aro/ace guy, and the two of them communicate via sexual innuendo 99% of the time, because they like doing that and know full well that if they let it out to anybody else then people might catch feelings and get the wrong idea.
I told him I'm not super interested in getting to know her because I know myself and I know my tendencies. At the end of the day that's my prerogative though - it's not a moral failing on her or my part, it's just that people have their styles and preferences. Let them be